Clumsy
by CoffeeLover88
Summary: If you met her you'd think there's no possible way she could be anything other then blissfully happy. She's smart and popular and has the best friends a girl could hope for. It's a persona shes worked hard to perfect and one that's slowly falling apart.
1. The beginning of a beautiful friendship

**The Beginning of a B.E. Friendship**

Kicking a rock as he walked around the play ground, with his hands stuffed deep into his blue uniform slacks, the young boy with blue sad eye's and messy blonde hair, let out a long sigh. It was his first day of kindergarten at Hartford's Sunrise Private elementary school. Not knowing any of the other children, he stayed on the disserted side of the playground, apparently all of the kids had taken a liking to dodge ball that particular day, seeing as how they were all standing in a huge circle screaming. Pouting he kicked the rock as hard as he could.

_**'Ouch!'  
**_Shouted a girl a few feet in front of him. The young boy looked up at her with wide eye's as she rubbed her ankle, tears filling her eye's.  
_**'What did you do that for?'**_

Not wanting her to cry, he rushed over to her side and bent down to touch her ankle, tears stinging his own blue eyes.  
**'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Are you Ok?'  
**He looked to the girl next to him and was caught in the curiosity her blue eye's held.

Apparently forgetting her ankle the girl pushed her bangs away from her face and swiped quickly at her cheeks.  
_**'It's OK. Why are you walking all alone? Why aren't you playing with everyone else?'**_

Not worrying about the subject change he shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands back deep into his pockets.  
**'Nobody wanted me to play. Why are you all alone?'**

The young girl's soft features suddenly became irritated. She crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot indignantly.  
_**'I was playing but den tupid Paris got me out.'  
**_She glared in the direction of a small blonde girl who was still standing in the circle, the girl seemed to be taking the game very seriously and only looked in their direction long enough for the two little girls to both stick their tongs out.  
Suddenly looking back at the boy, the little girl slapped her forehead.  
_**'I know who you are! You moved to the house next to mine!'**_

**'You have the pool with the slide?'**

_**'Yep.'  
**_She replied proudly.

**'Cool. I keep asking my Mommy for a slide but she says no cuz they are to danerous for me.'  
**He rolled his eye's, causing the girl to laugh.

_**'Not my Mommy! She's way cool. She let's me slide down all by myself!'**_

**'Cool!'**

The little girl wrung her hands behind her back and twisted the tip of her shiny black shoe against the cement shyly.  
_**'You wanna play a game with me?'**_

The boy's eye's grew.  
**'You wanna play with me?'**

She laughed happily.  
_**'Yea why not?! I like you! Your nice - even though you hit me. But it was a accadent so thats OK. My mommy says if you dont mean to do someting bad den your not bad. Jus clunsy.'**_

**'Whats clunsy?'**

The little girl paused thoughtfully then shook her head, her big curls swinging back and forth.  
_**'I dont know but my Daddy says dat, dats what mommy is cuz shes always doing bad things on accadent. So do you wanna play with me?'**_

His blue eye's brightened and he smiled excitedly.  
**'Yea!'**

_**'K come on!'  
**_She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the sand box.

**'Where are we going?'**

_**'To the swings. Hey maybe ater school your mommy will let you come over to my house and we can go swimming!'**_

**'Really?'**

_**'Yea! I mean if we're gonna be best friens then we ha to play an stuff!'**_

**'We're firends?'**

_**'Yea!'  
**_The little girl stopped and stared at him suddenly inscure.  
_**'You wanna be my friend dont you?'**_

Smiling happily, the boys eyes seemed to brighten again.  
**'YEA!'**

She stared at him some more.  
_**'Hey your eyes change colors! That's so cool!'**_

**'They do?'  
**As she nodded, he simply shrugged his shoulders.

_**'What's your name?'**_

The little boy smiled proudly and puffed his chest out.  
**'Twistin DuGwey.'**

_**'Cool. Well come on lets go play!'**_

**'K!'  
**The little girl took off running leaving him behind for a second before he took off after her.  
**'Whats your name?'**

Not pausing to answer the little girl spun her head around just enough for him to hear her.  
_**'Rory Gilmore!'**_

Smiling he continued running after her.

_'I have a best friend!'_  
****

**  
**


	2. Tied with a ribbon

**Chapter 1: Tied with a ribbon**

  
The girl with the long brown hair and big blue eye's pushed her Gucci sun glasses up ontop of her head, pushing her long curls back in the process as she entered the halls of Chilton preatory highschool. Pausing momentarily she scaned the halls smiling and waving to various people who passed her by. As she started towards her locker her mid-thigh lengthed plad skirt swooshed back and forth. She smiled polietly at a freshman who was standing by her locker looking more then just a little nervous. Glancing over at the girl to her right she smirked and raised an eyebrow.

**'Hi Rory. I'm Sara Sinclair I'm on the yearbook committee and I was wondering if I could take your picture?'  
**  
Rory looked at the girl and smiled as sweetly as she could.  
**''Of course."**

The younger girl smiled widely as Rory handed her backpack over to Madaline, who moved off to the side laughing. She turned to Louise and rolled her eye's at the younger girl.  
**"Why do I do these things?"**

Louise laughed and shook her head.  
_**'Come on Ror, these people worship you. Your their queen.'  
**_Laughing she moved off to where Madaline was standing smirking at Rory. They both knew how much she hated being told she was the Queen of the school.

Rory glared at her friends as she placed both of her hands on her hips and posed for the camera. Her smile was wide and fake. She changed position slightly, allowing Sara to get one more had a feeling she knew who it was that put the younger girl up to the task of taking her picture.  
**"They do not worship me."  
**As soon as the words had left her mouth, two strong arms moved around her waist, in one hand they held a cup of coffee, the person then leaned close to her ear and whispered softly.

**'I wroship you.' **  
When he felt her untense he placed his chin on her shoulder and looked directly into the camera.  
**'Smile pretty for the camera Mare.'  
**  
Smiling she looked back at the camera and smiled brightly, this time though it wasen't fake.

The flash went off and Sara began shoving her camera into her bag excitedly.  
**'That was perfect! Thank you both so much! My editor is going to love me! A picture of both of you, not even Paris Geller can frown at that!'**

Tristin pulled away and laughed as the girl took off down the hall.  
**'She apperantly dosen't know Paris.'**

Laughing, Rory took her bag from Madaline and took the coffee cup from Tristin.  
**"Thanks your absolutly fab darling!"**

Raising an eyebrow Trisin moved to get the cup back.  
**'Did somebody say that was yours?'**

"Didn't have to. You love me. I'm the only person willing to put up with a best friend with an ego the size of Texas. Without me you'd be a lost puppy."

Tristan looked over at Madaline and rolled his eye's.  
**'And I have the ego.'**

"I'm sorry did you say something Trissy?"

Madaline burst with laughter at the nickname, while Louise covered her mouth trying to hold hers back.

**'I told you not to call me that.'**

"Sorry Trissy didn't catch that .... your going to have to speak up."

Madaline stepped forward and placed a hand on Rory and Tristins shoulders.  
_**'OK kids seperat corners.'  
**_Standing beside Rory, she opened her locker and started to exchange the books in her bag for the ones inside of the locker. Louise walked to the otherside of the hall and did the same.  
After sticking her tounge out at Tristin, Rory copied their actions.

**'Real mature Mar!'**

"Maturity is for old people who sit behind desks all day long."

Laughing, Tristin gave her a highfive.  
**'See that's why your my best friend.'**

Just then Paris walked over to them.  
_**'Why because she belongs on meds?'**_

Smirking he walked over to his other friend and patted her on the head.  
**'No Paris that's why she's your best friend.'**

Before she could retort, a boy about the same height as Tristin, with black hair and green eye's walked over to them, her frown was instantly turned upside down.

The guy slapped Tristin on the back and laughed.  
_**'You picking on my girl again man?'  
**_Walking around him he moved to Paris` side wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the lips.

**'Speaking of people who need to be put on medication thanks to Paris...How are you doing this fine morning Sean?'**

Pulling away from Sean, Paris glared at Tristin. She lunged at him and he jumped behind Rory.

_**'Wow real macho Tristin!'**_

Rory looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. Tristin just smiled widly and put his hands on her hips effectivy stopping her from moving. Turning back to face Paris she shrugged her shoulders.  
Not willing to give up Paris moved around Rory and swung at him. When she missed he started to laugh, knowing that she'd catch him off gaurd she swung again. This time she slapped him in the head. The whole group burst with laughter while Tristin rubbed his head. Paris smugly walked back over to her boyfriend who once again put his arms around her and pulled her closer to his side.

**"OK come on you guy's stop it. We need to discuss this weekend."  
**The group let out a collective groan. Moving from behind her Tristin leaned against her locker and slid to the ground.  
**"I know, I know. I don't want to go anymore then you guy's do but we have to, so why not at least try and make a good time out of it?"**

Louise rolled her eye's and laughed.  
_**'A good time? There's something seriously wrong with you RG.'**_

**"Why? Because I've come to terms with the fact that no matter how much I bitch and cry I'm not going to be able to get out of this?"**

Paris who had leaned her head on Seans shoulder suddenly stood straight.  
_**'She's right you guy's. I mean as long as we're there together, we're bound to have a good time.'**_

The group groaned again, Rory mouthed a thank you to Paris. The first bell rang signaling that they only had a few minutes to get to class.  
**"OK we'll talk about it at lunch."**

After kissing Paris one last time, Sean and Louise went of in the direction of the class that they shared. Madaline and Paris went in the direction of their's.

Rory looked down at Tristin who had his arms straight out infront of him resting on his knees. His hands were in a praying form and his head was bowed.  
She squated down in front of him and put a hand on his cheek. When he looked up his eye's were a midnight blue color. Even now after all these years, the fact that his eye color changed with his mood, amazed her.  
**"What's wrong?"**

He shook his head and pulled Rory to sit beside him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, she leaned her head against his chest and closed her eye's.  
After sitting there for awhile, he watched as the last student in the hallway left.  
**  
"I'm so tired."**

She haden't opened her eye's or moved her body. Tristin looked down at her and rubbed her hair with the hand that was around her shoulders.  
**'I don't blame you.... I don't know how you do it.'  
**He had herd her parents fighting the night before. He called her and told her to come over but she had refused to, for the first time, saying how it was pointless if he could here them just as well as she could.**  
'They were louder then usual. What was it this time?'**

Groaning she moved trying to sit in a more comfortable position. When she didn't find one she returned to the one she had previously been in.  
**"Oh you know, what it's always about. He ruined her life, She ruined his ... then finally they agree that I ruined his and that her's is perfect. Then they make up in one of the guest bedrooms.'  
**She yawned and moved closer.**  
**_**  
**_**'He told you that you ruined his life?'**

"You kidding me? If he told me that, that would make him a bad father."  
She yawned again before getting up. She held her hand out to him, in an attempt to help him up. Shaking his head he stood up on his own.  
**"So who's the lucky girl this weekend? I know you must be getting offers wherever you go."**

Tristin shook his head and Rory raised her eyebrows surprised.  
**'No date needed. I'm not going.'**

"What do you mean your not going?!"

'I mean come Saturday night when you all walk into the ball room of the Hartford Country Club, I wont be there.'

"Tristin Anthony DuGrey! You WILL be there!"

Tristin winced and smirked at the same time.**  
'I hate when you call me by my full name.'**

''Tris if your not there what the hell am I going to do?''

'I'm sorry weren't you the one who just ten minutes ago was saying how we should all make a good time out of it?'

"And we should! Together! Please don't make me go alone."

'You'll be fine. You'll shine and dine along with everyone else.'  
_**  
**_ **"Except my bestest friend in the world. Please Trissy! Come please!"**

He hated it when she pouted. That pout got her whatever she wanted when it came to him.**  
'I'll think about it. Just stop calling me Trissy.'**

"I love you Trissy-tin! I'm sorry!'  
Her eye's widened and she grabbed his arm.**  
''Come on let's get to class."**

Tristan groaned and threw his head back.  
**'How about we don't and just come back at lunch? Nobody will even know.'**

She shook her head at him and pulled on his arm.  
**"Tris we ditched 3 times last week. Your mother will quite possibly kill me if I let you miss anymore."**

'Now you know that's not true Mar. My mom loves you more then she loves me. And besides she won't risk her last hope of you rubbing off on me and suddenly turning me into a good boy.'

"Tris sweetie I say this because your my best friend. I'm pretty sure she gave up on that pipe dream a long time ago. But you are right about her loving me more then you."_**  
**_  
He sighed dramatically and put a hand over his heart.  
**'Why do you say such hurtful things to me? You wound me really.'  
**Rory laughed and suddenly they herd quick footsteps down the hall. Both looked in the direction of the sound at the same time that the person turned the corner. Rory smiled brightly at the person who had momentarily paused to look at the people in front of him. Tristan rolled his eye's.  
**'Well Mar I guess that's my exit.'**

"Tristan."  
She began to whine.****

'Rory, you can't make us get along. I promised I'd stay out of it but I never promised to be OK with him. I'll see you at lunch.'  
Leaning over he kissed her one the cheek winked and then walked away.

Rory sighed and let her shoulders fall. She didn't understand why they just couldn't get along.  
The footsteps were getting closer putting her smile back in place she turned around to see her not so happy boyfriend a few feet away from her.

**'Well that was a nice little show.'**

Her smile fell and her eye's narrowed.**  
"Hello to you to."**

Cooper Dawson, 5 ft 9, Brown Hair, Hazel eye's, thin, not in an anorexic kind of way but a healthy thin. He moved with the grace of a cheetah on the prowl. And was an amazing photographer, not to mention the focus of all of her male friends, and Paris` anger. Madeline and Louise however found themselves stuck in the position of being on Rory's side when it came to the matter of her boyfriend. When she asked them why they defended her when it was obvious that they didn't like him either, they simply replied 'Somebody has to be on your side'. Whenever he came around everyone around her seemed to evaporate into thin air.  
Out of the whole group, Tristan disliked him the most, and the feeling was more then mutual. The two boys' had even come toe to toe before, over the fact that Cooper didn't like the way Tristan had touched her. Tristan being, Tristan, of course decided to take the fight one step further and claimed that he wasn't mad because he was touching his girlfriend, he was simply jealous that he wasn't touching _him_.  
It wasn't until recently that both boys agreed to back off. But apparently Cooper wasn't holding up his side of the deal.

**"What is it this time Coop? Cause seriously I'm not in the mood to argue with you today."**

He shrugged his shoulders, smirked and took a step closer. He held something behind his back.  
**'I'm sorry?'**

"Is that a question or an apology?''  
She couldn't help but smile at the boyish grin that he was wearing when he came closer.

**'It's a - Let's start over.'  
**He brought his hand out from behind his back and presented her with a chocolate bar with a bow stuck on top.  
Rory smiled as she took the bar from him and he wrapped his arms around her waist.  
**'Morning.'**

Rory smiled and then kissed him. When she pulled away she was smiling from ear to ear.  
**'Morning.'**

Cooper laughed before crashing his lips over hers again. They stumbled backward until Rory's back slammed into Madeline's locker. She gasped and her body arched towards his. He groaned against her lips and she giggled. The waist of her skirt was bunched up in his hands and he pulled her even closer. One of her hands was tangled in his hair and the other was digging its nails into his back, as he began to kiss her neck. She gasped when he bit her and her head fell back allowing him better access. He mumbled something against her neck that had her lifting her head. He began kissing her on the lips again, then pulled away leaving them both gasping for breath. He still held the waist of her skirt in his hands, it had risen enough to just barley be covering her.  
He leaned his forehead against hers.  
**'You want to get out of here? Go back to my house?'**

It took her a second before she realized what he was saying. Although they had come very close, they had never had sex. Not to confuse things, Rory wasn't a virgin, she hadn't been sense the end of her freshman year. She had slept with the captain of the football team after having dated him for pretty close to 3 months. Being that he was a senior and she was a freshman, that's what had landed her in the position of being one of the pretty and popular. And also with the title of Queen of Chilton, that's what her friends called her anyway. Tristan having been through something similar with the most popular girl in school, had him in the position of being her king. After that she didn't sleep with guys unless she was dating them, and for longer then 3 months. Given that she had been with Cooper for close to 6, she still didn't feel like she was ready. She sighed and pulled back so she could see him better.  
**'Coop we've talked about this already. I thought you understood that I'm -'**

Cooper pulled away completely and shook his head.  
**'Not ready. Yea I know Rory.'  
**They both stayed silent and Rory began to fix her skirt nervously. Off in the distance they herd a girl laugh loudly.  
**'You know what fine. I gotta get to class anyway.'  
**He turned and started to walk away.

Suddenly feeling like she was going to cry, Rory pushed away from the locker.  
**'Cooper!'**

He spun around catching her by surprise at how angry he looked.  
**'You know what Rory? You can't expect me to just wait forever!'**

'What's that supposed to mean?'  
That made her angry, she had forgotten about her unshed tears.

**'It means that I'm a guy and I'm not going to sit here until your ready. There are plenty of willing girls out there.'  
**Now this time when he turned and walked away, she let him go.

Rory stared with wide eyes as he walked away. As he turned the corner his words suddenly hit her and she became even angrier. She let out a frustrated scream and kicked the locker below hers. She herd the girl off in the distance laugh again. Then realizing that it was comming from the direction Tristin went in she picked up her backpack and stormed off in that direction.

**Tristin pov**

5 minutes earlier

He was on his way to class when Samantha Levy, the new girl at school, came walking out of the girls bathroom twirling her long brown hair around her finger. She looked up at him and smiled flirtaciously.

**'Hey Tristin.'**

He smirked and walked over to her.  
**'Hey Samantha. What are you doing out of class?'**

'My alarm clock went off at the wrong time. My Chem teacher locks us out when we're late. What are you doing wandering around here all alone?'

'Rory, says I have to go to class today.'  
Everyone in school knew they were friends. So when he brought her up to girls they didn't get jealous they simply moved on from the topic.

Samantha let out a loud laugh. Then catching herself she covered her mouth and looked over at a class down the hall. Tristin laughed and shook his head.  
She smiled and started to play with the collar of his shirt. She moved closer, leaving her only inches from his face.  
**'So do you always have to do what Rory says?'**

He smirked and pulled her closer.  
**'There's always exceptions.'**

She giggled then leaned up and kissed him.

**Present**

Now there he was leaning up against a set of lockers making out with this girl who he had met at most four times.  
He didn't hear the footsteps that were approaching he was to into the girl in front of him. She was an exceptionaly good kisser. One of the better ones if he had to say so himself. It wasen't until he felt Samantha pulling away that he realized they werent alone.

**'Go.'**

Confused he looked over at Rory and saw how pissed she was, he looked back to Samantha and saw her confusion writtin all over her face.  
**  
**Samantha looked between the two before her eye's stopped on Rory. She saw that Rory looked upset, angry, but like she was about to cry.  
**'Excuse me?'**

'Rory!'

The girl looked over at Tristin and shook her head at him.  
**'No Tristin it's OK.'  
**She turned to Rory and saw that she looked like she felt bad.

Rory sighed and looked down. Then looking back up she saw the girl, who she remembered to be Samantha Levy, looking at her.  
**'Look I'm sorry OK? I'm just in a really bad mood, which I know isn't any reason for me to be mean to you, especially because I don't even know you, but you were there and Cooper's an ass and I did it and I'm sorry. But I told Tristin to go to class and he didn't so now his Moms going to be pissed, but I can't really say anything because I'm not in class either and now I've forgotten what the whole point of what I was trying to say was - oh right I'm sorry. I just really need to talk to Tristin.'  
**She sighed and looked away. When she looked back both sets of eyes were on her. Tristin looking concerned and Samantha looking amazed.

Samantha gave a small nod patted Tristin on the chest then walked away with wide eye's.  
**'Whoa.'**

Rory sighedand ran a hand threw her hair.  
**'Great the new kid just saw me have a breakdown!'**

Distracted Tristin pushed himself away from the lockers and stepped towards her.**  
'Don't worry about it - she porobably didn't understand half of what you said. But I did, what the hell happened?'**

Rory stayed silent for a few seconds, she just stared at Tristin who looked like he was about to hunt Cooper down and kill him for whatever it was he had done. She looked away nervously and crosssed her arms just beneth her chest. She looked around the empty hallway, her eye's landing on the two large double doors that led to the student parking lot. She bit her lip and looked back at the boy in front of her. She tilted her head in the direction of the door.  
**'Let's go home. I'll text Maddy, Finn and Colin later and have them get our assignments.'**

He watched her for a second trying to gauge weither or not she was serious. When he saw that she was, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her towards the doors where their cars were waiting. No questions asked.  
**'You know Finns going to be pissed that we left without him right?'**

Thinking about her Austrialian friend, her eye's grew.  
**'I'll just ask Maddy to do it she has a free period after 5th it'll be easier for her. And besides Colin will tell. The little rat.'  
**She started mumbeling things about Colin being a rat-faced jerk.

Tristin threw his head back and laughed. He pulled her closer to his side and kissed the top of her head.  
**'God I Love ya Gilmore.'**

Rory smiled before looking up at him with an irritated look.  
**'I'm a Hayden.'**

He just gave a small nod and continued walking.  
**'You know eventually your going to have to tell me what the hell happened right?'  
**He felt Rory nod against his shoulder.

When they came to Rory's car she opened the door and moved out of his grasp. Leaning up she kissed him on the cheek.  
**'I love you to Tris.'  
**Smiling she got in her car, shut her door, put on her seatbelt, started the car and rolled down her window. She smirked up at Tristin and threw her head in the direction of his Black Porche.  
**'Now get your ass in the car and race me home.'  
**  
Tristin laughed as he turned around and jogged over to his car. As he put the key in the door lock he herd her rev her engin. He looked up just in time to see her speed out of the parking lot. Shaking his head he hurried his actions and jumped in the drivers seat of his car. He turned the radio on full blast and pushed play on the CD he kept playing in his 5-disk CD player. Putting it on the song he was looking for, he pulled out his cell phone and smiled wickedly as he dialed her cell number.  
_'hel-'  
_As soon as he herd her answer the phone he layed it down in the empty passenger seat next to the speaker blasting 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' By Britney Spears. He smiled brightly as he pictured Rory wince and begin to yell about how the music he listened to was a crime against nature, and how he was no longer her best friend, that Shawn was.  
He continued laughing as he drove towards his house, where he was pretty sure Rory was already sitting and waiting.


	3. Counting blouses

**Chapter 2: Counting blouses**

Tristin sighed and shruged his shoulders at the girl laying on his bed. He waited a second then slapped his knees and stood up.  
_**'Well OK, I'm going to go kill him.'  
**_  
The matter of fact tone of his voice had Rory shooting straight up.  
**'Tristin.'  
**He had his phone out and was already dialing a number. He held a finger up signaling for her to wait a second.  
**'Tristin stop it. Who are you calling?'  
**She began to panic.  
_**  
'Colin. And do you think you can lower your voice? I can't hear.'**_

Rory jumped off of the bed and tackled the phone away from him.  
**'What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know what he'll do to him?!'**

_**'As matter of fact'  
**_He moved to grab the phone back from her, but she moved it out of his reach.  
_**'I know exactally what he'll do to him.'  
**_He made a move for it again, after pulling it away from him she glared at him.  
_**'Which is why I chose him over Shawn or Finn. But if you don't give me my damn phone back, I might just call them also.'  
**_This time when he moved to get it from her, Rory dropped it into her bra. Tristin stopped mid grab, she crossed her arms just below her chest and smirked at him. He glared at her for a second before an easy smirk fell onto his face. He moved closer and she moved back.  
_**'You think I wont go in there?'  
**_He took another step forward and she took one more back. Her eye's had grown wide and she crossed her arms over her chest as if to gaurd herself from him.  
_**'I've been down far more blouses then I'd like to count. I'd have no problem finding my way around under there.'  
**_

Rory suddenly feeling brave moved her arms down around her stomach and stepped forward. She was only inches away from Tristin who wasen't about to back down. She kept her eye's locked on his, and smirked when she saw his gaze drop to her chest, then catching himself, they quickly returned back up to her face. Stepping closer to him, she herd the automatic, sharp intake of air. It always made her laugh how the fact that they were friends didn't erase the fact that Tristin was very much a male and she was just as much, a female, leaving them in many situations like this. Smirking at the obvious effect she was having on him, she reached inside of her blouse and pulled the phone out. He stared at it for a second before taking it from her.

Tristin glared at her then spun on his heels and moved as far away from her as he could get. When he herd Rory sigh, he looked back over at her, the look on her face made his stomach turn. Sighing he shook his head and fell into onto the couch that sat between his bookshelf and a large window.  
_**'Your going to do it arent you?'**_

Knowing what he was talking about she let out another sigh. It apperantly gave Trsitin all the answer he needed because he began to shake his head and his eye's started to turn a very dark, almost black, blue. She quickly walked over to him and sat facing him on the couch.  
**'I just think that maybe he's right.'  
**When she touched his arm he pulled away from her with quickly, feeling as though a fountain of flames had washed over his skin.  
Rory's eye's began to fill with tears.  
**'Tristin stop it. Please. Just look at me.'  
**  
The desprate pleading of her voice had him looking over at her relunctently. When he saw the tears falling slowly down her cheeks, his first instinct was to pull her into his arms and hold her there forever. But quickly checking that impulse, he simply shook his head at her.  
_**'How the hell is him threatening to cheat on you if you dont have sex with him right Rory? How can you be sitting there honestly thinking about this when just minutes ago you were crying to me about what a jerk he is?'**_

Rory shook her head and shrugged, not knowing what to say.  
**'He's my boyfriend.'**

_**'The guy's an asshole! He treats you like shit and you just let him!'**_

She started to cry a little harder which finally caused Tristin to sigh and wrap his arm loosly around her._**  
**_**'I don't want him to break up with me.'  
**Rory herself couldn't believe the things she was saying. When did she become so weak? She saw Tristin's eye's flash that same dark blue.  
**  
**_**'Ror-'**_

**'I know your right. But it dosen't change how I feel. I'm not saying I'm in love with him or anything like that, I'm just saying that I really want to be with him. Yea he's a jerk sometimes, but I know he dosen't mean even half of the stuff he says. And I know he'd never really cheat on me..he just dosen't know how to express how he's feeling.'  
**It wasen't often that she would lie to Tristin because he seemed to always be able to tell when she was. In all reality she didn't really know if he'd cheat on her or not, all she did know was that she didn't want to risk it.****

Tristin sighed and moved his neck in a slow circle causing the kinked bones to crack. He hated it when she lied to him.  
_**'Fine. I won't tell Colin.'  
**_Rory smiled through her tears and jumped ontop of him wrapping her arms around his neck. He caught her before she could knock him over and held her around her waist. She wasen't going to like the next part.  
_**'But you know the deal. You take something ... you gotta give something.'  
**_  
Rory groaned and sat back down on the couch. She glared at him. Of course it was to good to be true.  
**'What?'**

A boyish grin that had Rory biting her bottom lip, spread across his face.  
_**'I get one free punch! No consiquences. I get to walk up to him, and you can give him fare warning if you want to, but I get to punch him with the knowledge that he wont punch me back.'**_

**'Tristin! No!'**

He sighed and shook his head while opening his phone.  
_**'OK then...'**_

Rory's hand shot out and shut the phone.  
**'Wait .... he's not going to go for it Tris ....'**

All of a sudden Money Money Money By Abba started playing from benith their hands, Tristin smirked and Rory groaned while getting up and walking over to his bed and falling un-graciously onto it.  
_Money, money, money  
Must be funny  
In the rich man's world  
Money, money, money  
Always sunny  
In the rich man's world  
Aha-ahaaa  
All the things I could do  
If I had a little money  
It's a rich man's world_

_**'Well speak of the Devil, there's our dear Colin now. What'll it be Mar?'**_

Rory glared at him even though her face was pushed into a pillow and he couldn't see her, then through gritted teeth said the word that made Tristin's day.  
**'Fine.'**

Smiling from ear to ear, Tristin got up and flipped the phone open. Rory groaned and closed her eye's as tight as possible.  
_**'Talk to me.'**_

_**'Hey man did you call me?And do you know where Rory is? Because she didn't show up to first and Mads said she wasen't in second either.'**_

Tristin laughed into the phone.  
_**'Yea that's actually why I called. Mar wasen't feeling to well and wanted to go home, so you know me being the great friend that I am, offered to come with her.'**_

Colins voice instantly changed from non-cohalent to worried.  
_**'Is she OK? What's wrong with her?'**_

_**'It's cute, that worried older cousin thing you do. She's fine Colin, she's laying on my bed. It's one of those girly problems that we don't like discussing.'  
**_He just barley dodged the pillow that came flying at his head.

_**'Oh alright. Well are you guy's going to be back today? Or should we just stop by later?'**_

Moving the phone away from his mouth Tristin turned to Rory, who was busy going through his drawers. He picked up the pillow that had fallen at his feet at pitched it back at her. Startled she turned around with those deer caught in headlight, eye's of her's and frowned.  
_**'Are we going back? Or do we just want them to come by later?'**_

After her confusin subsided she galred at Tristin, giving him an idea of what was going to happen as soon as he hung up the phone._**  
**_**'We'll meet them at lunch.'**

Not taking his eye's off of Rory, who was in turn staring with determained eye's back at him, he moved the phone back up.  
_**'Colin man, we'll be back by lunch. Now I gotta go. Your lovely cousin looks like she's about to pounce on me.'  
**_Not waiting for a reply he snapped the phone closed, never taking his eye's off of her.

They stayed locked for a moment, then a noise outside caught Rory's attention and had her glancing out the window. In an instant he was ontop of her attacking her side's with his fingers. She screamed at the sudden weight that had her falling backward on the soft matress, then when he began tickling her, her shouts turned to bursts of laughter.


	4. Hail to the King

**Chapter 3: Apparently not everyone hails to the KING**

'Tomorrow.'  
'Nope, you agreed to the terms of the deal; and I clearly stated that you have no say in the when, where, or force, behind my punching the piece of shit you call a boyfriend.'  
'OK wait a minute, so I'm not going to know when it's going to happen?'  
As they walked through the Chilton parking lot, Tristan threw his hands over his head and began clapping.  
'Ladies and Gentlemen, the ladies got it! Let's give her a round of applause please!'  
'Shut the hell up.'  
With an automatic hand over the heart, he gasped dramatically.  
'Lorelei Gilmore! Are my ears deceiving me or did you just curse? Well I never!'  
Ignoring his deliberate use of the name Gilmore, a skill she had perfected over the years, Rory continued walking.  
'So what exactly am I supposed to tell him Tristan? Watch your back because I gave my best friend, whose status I'm severely re-thinking at the moment, permission to hit you whenever he gets the itch?'  
'Well there's that, and there's also the option of not telling him anything, letting him be surprised. I know I love surprises.'  
'Yes, but you see, as you also stated, you don't want him hitting you back; correct?'  
'Yearbook pictures coming up, Mom says I get a new car if this one doesn't include the black eye to match my uniform.'  
'So obviously it would be appreciated?'  
'Oh, greatly.'

'And thinking that if one day you decide to walk up to Cooper and punch him, him being without the knowledge of our demented agreement, that he won't punch you back, repeatedly?'  
'Good point. Tell him.'  
'Tell who what?'  
An arm flew over Rory's shoulders. She looked up into the blue eye's of her Australian friend, smiled, then removed his arm.  
'No Love, Love.'  
'You know he doesn't like it when you guys put your arms around me in public. He thinks your trying to make him look stupid.'  
'Dear girl, neither I, nor any other male, has the power to make him look any more ignorent then he already does.'  
'Here, Here!'  
'Oh you be quiet.'  
'And honestly now Love, if putting my arm around you gets the block all heated up, then it's best we don't let him in on what I do to you in private.'  
He growled and made a biting motion at her. Rory laughed while Tristin abruptly stopped and faced Finn, no amusement on his face at all. Shaking his head Finn walked over and patted him on the shoulder.  
'I'm getting you a sense of humor for Christmas mate.'  
'Just got a new one last week.'  
'Oh well did you save your receipt? Because it's apparently broke!'  
'It's in perfect working condition that just wasn't funny.'  
'She laughed!'  
'That's because Rory refuses to let you know that your not funny, fearing that she'll hurt your delicate feelings.'  
'Is that true love?'  
'Oh Finny of course it isn't. You're hilarious. Tristan's just jealous because he's not. Now I have to go find Madeline, and see if she got the work I asked for.'  
Waving she walked off, leaving the boys to themselves.  
'That wasn't funny Finn.'  
'Jeez mate I'm sorry, I thought you knew I was joking.'  
'I do, it's just that she's not ... just don't talk to her like that ok? She deserves more respect.'

Finn watched him for a second, then all humor gone, he stood at alert.  
'What happened?'

'Nothing. Coopers just being a prick as usual.'  
'God I hate that guy. Why is she with him?'  
'If I knew the answer to that, I'd stop asking myself every damn day. She deserves better then him, but what can we do, right?'  
They started walking up the stairs of the front entrance when the double doors flew open and a brunette girl crashed into Tristan. Catching his balance, he instantly went for the girl who was about to eat payment. After a quick sigh of relief, the girl stood up straight, and raked her hair back with her fingers.  
'Thanks. Sorry about that.'  
Tristan gave her his trademark smirk and stepped up a step, invading her personal space.  
'Not a problem. You can fall into my arms, or bed, any time you'd like. Perhaps tonight?'  
Finn tilted his head to the left, fascinated by the look of disgust that came over her face.  
'Ewe. Does that line of crap ever actually work?'  
Smiling widely Finn pushed Tristan over, and took his place.  
'It usually does Love. I believe your the first girl at this school - hell your the first girl in Hartford, to manage to deflate our dear Tristan's ego.'  
'She did not deflate my ego. I don't have an ego!'  
Neither acknowledged his presence. Finn stuck his hand out and shook her hand, in such a way you would shake somebody's hand while congratulating them on just saving the world.  
'You fascinate me. Rory will want to meet you at once.'  
'Finn!'

Tristan shouted as his friend got a wicked gleam in his eyes.  
'Come Love. OH they'll just love you. Paris will want to paint your hair and braid your nails.'  
'I'm sorry?'  
Finn pulled her by the hand, back into the school, ignoring Tristan's complaints from behind them.  
'Wait did you say Paris as in Geller?'  
The girl stopped abruptly.  
'Oh you know of her? She's a gem isn't she?'  
'Yea she's a stone alright. You can't take me to Paris.'  
'Well why not?'  
'Because ... you just - can't ok?'  
She had a worried, almost frightened look on her face. Feeling sorry for the girl, he dropped her hand.  
'Alright Love. Wait but what about Rory? She'll have my head if she doesn't meet you.'  
Laughing and shaking her head simultaneously, she shifted her backpack on her shoulder.  
'Who's Rory? And why was my turning your friend down such a big deal?'  
'Rory is Tristan's Best Friend. She's the only girl, aside from Paris, and yourself of course, to not fall for the boy's good looks and charm. Not to mention his wallet.'  
'Oh so you think we'll bond on an intellectual level?'  
Finn laughed, and being the red blooded teen male that he was, he looked her up and down. Then with an inquisitive look on his face, he returned his eye's to her blushing, smiling face.  
'You don't go here.'  
'What?'  
'Your uniform, it's not a Chilton uniform.'  
She shifted again.  
'What did you say your name was Love?'  
She smiled again and began to walk backwards.  
'Bye Finn.'  
Then laughing she turned and jogged out through the double doors. Finn sighed and put his hand over his heart. Completely oblivious to the world around him he didn't notice the person beside him until he went stumbling forward. Looking back he found Paris and Rory standing there, staring questioningly at him. He knew who had pushed him.  
'Well hello Paris. Forget to take your Prozac today?'  
"Yea, your mom called in a panic last night, she apparently ran out, so I gave her my last one.'

'Funny gem.'  
'Finny, what's with the weird look you had when we walked up?'  
'Oh Rory she was magnificent! You should have seen her. The way she moved, the way she spoke. The manner in which she turned Tristan down, flat.'  
'Finn what are you talking about? Or rather, who are you talking about?'  
'I don't know. But you should have seen her Love she was a vision.'  
Paris rolled her eyes in disgust.  
'You don't know who you're talking about?'  
Instantly he began to relive the story to them. Accidentally leaving out the part where his mystery girl knew Paris. By the time he was done, both girls were left speechless.

Paris was the first to speak. Of course though, when she did, she asked the least relevant question of all.  
'You told her I would braid her nails and paint her hair?'  
Thinking about it, Finn suddenly understood the curious look on the girls face when he had said it. Rory was completely quiet, until suddenly she began to laugh uncontrollably.  
'Where's Tristan?'  
Paris tilted her head in the direction they had come from.

'He's probably with Sean in the Library. They have a free period.'  
Rory took off at a quick run, in the direction of the library. It broke the #2 rule in 'The Lorelei's Rule Book.' But #6 in the exceptions pamphlet, she and her mom had taped to the book when she was in the third grade stated that, The only time in which Rule #2 can be broken is when, either they are giving away free Coffee, Money, Clothes, or CD's. Or if there is a dyer need to get to Tristan. Although she would have to check the teasing criteria when she got home, she was pretty sure her mother would let her slide on this one. As soon as she reached the library she slowed to a quick stride. When she entered, she spotted them sitting in a corner playing cards and laughing quietly. Almost as instantly she noticed Cooper, sitting a few tables away from them. Both boy's looked up at the same time and smiled at her. Not knowing what to do, she quickly turned and walked out.  
Cooper looked back at Tristan and glared at him, Tristan's eye's turned an icy blue as he stared back at the jack-ass sitting a few feet away. Noticing Tristan's lack of interest in the game, Sean turned to look at what had caught his friend's attention, expecting to find a girl standing there. When he saw Cooper he sighed and stood up, sitting on the table beside his friend.  
'What's going on Tris?'  
'Just don't like the guy.'  
'You hate the guy.'  
Cooper had looked away, one of his friends pulling him back into the conversation. Tristan's eyes remained trained on him.  
'He's a dick man, what can I say?'  
'Yea, but you've never liked him.'  
Irritated he looked accusingly at Sean.  
'Neither have you, or anyone else for that matter. Why is my not liking him such a big deal?'

'We gave the guy a chance before we chose to not like him. You never even entertained the idea.'  
'Why are you defending him?'  
'I'm not. I'm just stating a fact. Nobody likes Cooper, or wants him with Rory. Plain and simple. But you HATE the guy. You can see it in your eye's man.'  
Tristan sat quietly. Honestly he never did give the guy a chance, but he knew what kind of person he was, he told Rory and she didn't listen. Now here she was getting hurt, just like he had told her would happen.  
Knowing that if Rory found out what he was about to do, she would most likely never trust him again, he sighed and did it anyway.  
'Do you want to know why Rory and I weren't here today?'


	5. Rewind Erase

Chapter 4: Rewind Erase

'_Have you ever had one of those days, you wish you could take back?'_

Rory's POV

Hayden residence 4:50pm

'Hey buddy what are you doing?'

Tristan came walking into my room and lazily fell onto my bed. I wiped my cheeks and forced a smile on my face. Turning in my desk chair I crossed my legs and placed my hands on top of my knees.

'English Essay. I'm no where near done though; shouldn't you be doing the same thing?'

'Yea yea I know. I wanted to stop by before I went home and started, see how your doing?'

Ignoring his question for now, I changed the subject.

'I herd about that thing with Finn and the mystery girl today.'

He groaned and put a pillow over his face.  
'So she turned you down pretty bad huh?'  
I couldn't help laughing a little.

'She didn't turn me down, she just had other plans.'

'Oh … see the way I herd it was she turned you down … big time.'  
'Shut up.'

'Hey it had to happen sooner or later. I'm just disappointed that it had to happen while I wasn't around.'

He sat up and laughed.  
'Your honestly enjoying this aren't you?'  
'I'm loving every second.'

'Nice Gilmore, real nice.'

I laughed and turned my chair back and forth.

'Just so you know I caught the fact that you ignored my question. How are you doing?'

Turning back to my desk with a sigh, I was hit with another wave of sadness. I didn't want to talk about anything that had happened that day, especially with him.

'We broke up.'

I turned back to look at my "best friend" just as the shock and realization hit him, and the tears began to sting my eyes.

'_Have you ever had one of those days, you wish you could take back?'_

Tristan's POV

Chilton Prep. 12:35pm 

I knew the look Sean had on his face, he thought he had it all figured out, I know he's not really defending the asshole, so I let him continue talking.

'I'm not. I'm just stating a fact. Nobody likes Cooper, or wants him with Rory, plain and simple. But you really hate him Tris. It's in your eyes.'  
I sat quietly. Honestly I never had given the guy a chance, but I knew what kind of person he was from the second she introduced us. I told Rory and she wouldn't listen, now here she was getting hurt, exactly what I had said would happen. I knew that if she found out that I told Sean what happened there was a very large chance that she wouldn't trust me ever again. Hell there was an even bigger chance that she would stop talking to me all together, but I had to tell him, or else this conversation was going somewhere best left undiscovered.  
'Do you want to know why Rory and I weren't here today?'

He looked mildly confused for a second then shrugged.

'We were at my house, but not for the reason I told Colin.'

'Ok, so she wasn't sick? Wait a second if you guys are doing it or something please, please, please don't tell me. I don't want to be the first one to know, Paris will literally kill me man.'

I laughed at the look on his face and shook my head.

'Come on you know it's nothing like that.'

'Oh thank god. Continue.'

I laughed again then looked in the direction of Cooper's table, where he was still sitting, openly flirting with some red headed sophomore. I cracked my knuckles and stood up. Instantly Sean jumped up as well.

'What are you doing? Man you know if you touch him, that's it for you and Rory.'

'He doesn't even care that we see him, because he knows she'll never believe us.'

I was twenty miles passed pissed and honestly I feel like I can punch the jerks face in. Looking at Sean I knew I wasn't alone, we had to get out of here. I stuffed my hands in my pocket and popped the hair pin I pick up every morning before leaving, in and out of place. Without another word I walked directly passed Cooper and out of the library, Sean right next to me.

'You alright?'

'Nope not yet.'

'Tell me why you guys left then if she wasn't sick.'

'Trust me man that won't make me feel better.'

'Why?'

I stopped abruptly and turned on Sean.

'He told her if she didn't sleep with him soon, he was going to get it from somebody more willing.'

'What! Why is he still walking Tristan?'

'You said it yourself man, I touch him me and Rory are done.'

'You mean she still wants to be with him?'

'Those were her words. She made me promise not to touch him, or tell anybody. In exchange I get to punch the guy … once whenever I want.'

'That doesn't make it ok, what were you thinking?'

'Yea I know. Which is why I told you.'

I continued walking again but this time, Sean wasn't with me. When I looked back he was walking in the opposite direction, running to catch up with him I began to panic.

'Where are you going?'

'I'm going to find Colin and Finn. I'm going to do what you should have did the second she told your dumb ass.'

We both stopped and I felt like he had slapped me in the face.

'Your who she depends on to make sure assholes like Cooper don't fuck with her Tristan. Why would you let him get away with something like that?'

'She begged me not too!'

'So because she turned her bambi eyes on you, you just let it go?'

'You know that's not what happened man. Don't try and tell me what's best for Rory. I know letting it go the way I did was stupid, but what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't say no Sean.'

I knew I was basically laying it all out, and that it couldn't end well, but surprisingly the sympathy on his face settled my stomach some what.

'Alright. But now we have to fix it.'

'I can't touch him, or tell Finn or Colin. And if you do then she's going to know I said something.'

'Well we're going to. We just have to make sure it doesn't come back on you.'

What to do? What to do?

'I'm getting out of here. There's Colin, do what you want. The less I have to do with this the better. I better not lose her Sean.'

Before he had the chance to say anything I walked off toward the parking lot, knowing this wasn't going to end well.

'_Have you ever had one of those days, you wish you could take back?'_

Paris` POV

Chilton Prep. 1:00 pm

I was walking down the hallway when I overheard Tristan and Sean talking nearby. My instant reaction was a bubbly, girly happiness. It's been happening more and more often lately. I really cant explain it, everyone's noticed. Finn had even brought up my sudden "un-Paris like behavior" whenever Sean came around. I stopped myself abruptly just as I was about to walk over and fulfill my sudden yearning for his arms to be wrapped around me.

'You alright?'

'Nope not yet.'

'Tell me why you guys left then if she wasn't sick.'

That caught my attention. Rory had lied to me, oh she was going to get an ear full for skipping school to go mess around with Tristan all morning.

'Trust me man that won't make me feel better.'

'Why?'

'He told her if she didn't sleep with him soon, he was going to get it from somebody more willing.'

What the hell?

'What! Why is he still walking Tristan?'

'You said it yourself man, I touch him me and Rory are done.'

'You mean she still wants to be with him?'

Of course she doesn't.

'Those were her words. She made me promise not to touch him, or tell anybody. In exchange I get to punch the guy … once whenever I want.'

No freaking way. What is wrong with her? What could she possibly be thinking? God somebody seriously needs to smack some sense into that girl.

'That doesn't make it ok, what were you thinking?'

'Yea I know. Which is why I told you.'

Both boys began walking in different directions. Fuming I turned around and rushed off in the direction of Rory's locker. I found her standing there laughing with Madeline and Louise, the picture of a popular high school Queen. As soon as I walked up the laughter was gone, she knew that I knew something.

'We need to talk.'

'Paris not now please.'

I laughed and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

'No Ror we need to talk now.'

She glanced at the very interested girls beside us, they were gossips but loyal friends first. Whatever was said wouldn't be repeated, we both knew this.

'OK fine. What's up?'

'If you don't give it up soon, I'll go find someone more willing?'

Louise stood at alert, Madeline looked a bit confused for a second but just as quickly realization hit her, both girls looked just as pissed off as I did.

'What the hell Rory?'

Madeline said, effectively cutting me off.

'You guys calm down, he didn't mean it like it sounds.'

'How else could he have meant it?'

'Louise stop, you don't understand. He was upset with me and didn't know what he was saying.'

She was starting to panic, shaking her head she looked back at me confused.

'How did you even find out? Tristan'

'Didn't say anything to me. I overheard him and Sean talking, which is beside the point Rory. Why are you still with him? And why are you making Tristan promise not to tell anyone.'

'Because I knew you guys would over react like this. Wait Tristan told Sean what happened?'

I saw the fury in her eye's and couldn't help being angry with her.

'Don't you dare be mad at him, he only did what you should have done from the beginning.'

'Lower your voice people are starting to look.'

'Right and god forbid anyone find out that Little Rory Hayden takes after Mommy dearest, when it comes to letting guys treat em' like shit.'

OK so the line was officially crossed. The looks I was getting from all three girls only made that clearer, but it was the truth. Louise grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall into a bathroom, Madeline stayed back trying to get Rory to come along. Once inside she let go of me and went into a furious rant about how I shouldn't have said that, I was totally out of line, and how she wouldn't be surprised if Rory never spoke to me again.

'Yea I know, but it doesn't make it any less true and you know it.'

Louise stayed quiet which told me I was right. A few seconds later Madeline opened the door to the bathroom, no Rory in sight.

'_Have you ever had one of those days, you wish you could take back?'_

Colins POV

Chilton Prep 1:00pm

'_Damn it damn it DAMN IT! Ok so it's just one pop quiz, it doesn't mean anything. DAMN IT!'  
_I slammed my locker shut just as Sean walked up.

'Hey you have Johnson next period right? She's giving a PQ so be careful.'

'_Damn he's pissed.'_

'What's wrong with you? You haven't even failed it yet.'

'It's that asshole Cooper.'

'You know what man, I'm tired of hearing it, there's something new every damn day.'

'Nah your going to want to hear this. Where's Finn?'

'Behind you.'

'Talking about me are you?'

'Nothing good trust me. Apparently Sean has some vital information regarding our dear Cooper.'

'Is it what Tristan wanted to tell me but couldn't because Rory made him promise not to.'

'Yea. But before I tell you guys, I promised Tristan it wouldn't get back to Rory that he told us.'

Ok now I was getting nervous.

'What happened?'

The second he started to tell me I began wishing he hadn't. One more fight at school and it was off to Boarding school for me. Down the hall I saw Cooper standing in a circle laughing with his friends. Without a second thought I dropped my things in front of my locker and started toward him. Half way down the hall Finn and Sean fell into stride with me. As if sensing us, Sean looked up and our eye's locked.

'_Boarding school here I come.'_

Suddenly Rory appeared out of nowhere, seeing me she gave me that look that begged me to stop. I couldn't. Cooper began to smirk as I stopped in front of him. Rory began to panic.  
'Colin please.'  
He laughed.

'Oh Colin please … boo hoo. Are you here to defend the little Princess` honor?'

'She doesn't need anyone to defend her.'  
Rory began to nod and tried to move between us.  
' I agree, I don't so please..'

'But nevertheless I need to kick your ass.'  
There was an instant where I saw fear flicker in his eyes, but just as quickly he hid it.  
'I'm right here.'  
'Rory leave, now.'  
'Don't talk to me like that Colin. Walk away, I'll handle this.'

I glanced at her then back at the asshole in front of me. Backing up a few steps I started to turn to leave.

'Yea that's right Colin leave so she can handle me.'  
The double meaning made clear, the nerve this guy had made me laugh. Turning back, I saw Rory turn on him and shake her head, she leaned over and whispered something in his ear, then pulled away smiling. She moved out of the way and waved at him.  
I don't know which registered first in his head, the fact that she gave me the go ahead or my fist coming at his face. As soon as my fist connected with his jaw he flew against the wall behind him. I pulled back and swung again, this time hitting him in the stomach, which had him falling to the ground. Putting my legs on each side of him, so he couldn't get up, I punched him again, and again. I pulled back once more and at that instant the dreaded Mrs. Johnson, who had apparently not made my life shitty enough that day, came around the corner. I got another look, one I knew all to well, and without her having to tell me I stood up straight, smoothed my shirt out, and started for the headmaster's office.

'_Have you ever had one of those days, you wish you could take back?'_

Tristan's POV  
Hayden residence 5:00pm

'We broke up.'  
She turned to look at me and her eye's filled with tears.  
_'Shit.'_

'Where were you today Tristan?'  
'Ror –'

'No don't. While you were ditching school, my cousin was getting suspended for beating the crap out of my boyfriend. After Paris told the entire school how much my mother and I are alike when it comes to letting guys treat us like shit.'

My skin began to get hot and I knew there was no way I was getting out of this.

'Rory I don't know how Paris or Colin found out but-'

'Oh give me a break! She overheard you telling Sean!'

Tears began to fall from her eyes and stream down her porcelain cheeks. My instant reaction was to walk over and hug her, but hers was to back away from me.

'You promised you wouldn't say anything. You lied to me Tristan.'

'No I didn't. I wasn't going to say anything! But I kept thinking about it and thinking about, and god Rory the last thing I ever wanted was for you to look at me the way you are right now, but someone had to make it clear that he cant treat you like that!'

'So you should have left that up to me!'

I laughed bitterly.

'I told you this morning, over and over. You were just letting it go. You don't deserve to be used like that.'

Suddenly she was pissed.

'Oh come off your high horse Tristan! Your just like him! You use girls and then throw them away like last weeks leftovers! How about Shawna Tristan? Remember her? Or Becky? Lynette? Josie, Katey, Rachel, Monique? Do any of those girls ring a bell? They're all the girls you screwed over the summer and never called again! You used every single one of them, made them believe that they were special, and then as soon as you got what you wanted they were gone! What makes me so much better then them? You are no different the Cooper.'

She was right, and I didn't know what to say.

'Your right, I use girls. But what are you always telling me? The only girls who get used are the ones who aren't smart enough to see it for what it is and walk away, and I know you saw it. What makes – made you different was that you would never let somebody treat you the way he did. So why did you?'  
She had begun to cry again, she whispered something that I couldn't hear.

'What?'

'I said I don't know. Maybe Paris right, I'm just like my mom.'

'No she's not, and no your not. Paris was mad, and said something incredibly stupid, that I'm sure she regrets one hundred percent. Ror I'm so so sorry that I hurt you. However, I'm not sorry that he broke-up with you.'

'I broke up with him.'

'Really?'

A huge smile fell onto my lips, and a small one on her's as she nodded.

'That's awesome!'

Just as quickly as it came her smile was gone.

'I don't trust you.'

My heart gave a thud and my body went mildly weak.

'I hate this feeling, I never wanted to feel like this with you. My heart hurts, and my eyes burn … I feel like I cant breathe.'

'That's pretty much what's going on over here right now, just throw in the fact that I feel like pushing myself off a cliff. Rory stop looking at me like that please.'

She shook her head, as if she didn't know what I was saying.

'Like … like your about to tell me that we can't be friend's anymore.'

'I'm not going to say that. We'll get past all of this I know we will.'

I sighed in relief.

'We'll always be friend's Tristan. But right now I think we might need to keep our distance from each other.'

'No.'

'No? I'm not asking you, I'm telling you Tristan. Stay away from me. When I feel like I can trust you again then we can talk, but for now … I need my space.'

That overwhelming, can't breathe feeling washed over me. She had made up her mind.

'I'm not sorry that I told Sean, or that he told Colin. But I am sorry that I hurt you in the process, which makes me no better then Cooper.'

I started to leave but something held me back. I walked over, wrapped my arms around her, and kissed the top of her head.

'I love you Ror, more then you'll every really know, and whenever you need me, I'm right next door.'

I felt her nod against my chest, and I kissed her head one more time before pulling away and walking out the door.

'_Have you ever had one of those days?  
You know which one's I'm talking about  
The kind you wish with everything inside of you  
that you could just go back and do it all differantly.  
Say the perfect thing to make a friend feel better,_

_Do something that could be life altering._

_Basically rewind and erase the mistakes we've made._

_I think we've all had one of those days._

_I know I have.'_


	6. Superman's sidekick

Chapter 5: Superman's side-kick

'Ahhhh forget it!'

Rory pushed her laptop away from her and pulled out her cell phone. After quickly finding the number needed, she pressed talk and put the phone to her ear.

'Hey. Where are you?'

'_Well funny you should ask…'_

A knock came from her bedroom door causing her to jump.

'_Mind if I come in?'_

Laughing she hung up and the door opened.

'You hung up on me! You're so rude!'

'What are you doing here?'

'I wanted to see my beautiful cousin.'

'No.'

Colin laid down on her bed and began tossing a pillow in the air.

'No what? I haven't even asked you anything.'

'Yes but from past experience I'm gonna go ahead and stick with no.'

He dropped the pillow and sat up.

'Ya know you'd think you would be slightly nicer to me after what I did for you today.'

With a sudden feeling of guilt, Rory sighed and sat down next to him.

'Your right, I'm sorry. When do you ship off?'

The entire family knew of the boarding school threat that her Aunt Susan had made at the beginning of the school year, and Susan like every other Hayden, never went back on a threat. Neither Rory nor Colin had mentioned it to their friends, so as not to worry them. Weren't they in for a surprise?

'See that's the reason why I'm here…I'm not going anywhere.'

'What? How? You're mom said … did Charleston not suspend you?!'

An excited hope filled her.

'Oh no he did.'

'Ok I'm confused, explain.'

'Well see I gave the secretary my Father's new cell number, you know the emergency line? Strictly for family use?'

'You're dad doesn't have a second line.'

'No but I do … or rather you're mom does but that's beside the point. So I had the secretary call said line, at which point she got his voicemail and was forced to leave a message informing Mr. McCray that his son was involved in an incident at school and has been suspended for the remainder of this week and next.'

'Ok first, further explanation regarding you being able to get a phone line in my mothers name, will be discussed later. Second, how exactly do you plan on keeping you're parents from knowing you're not going to school every morning?'

'Well I figure if I can get them to believe that I'm at school for the next two days I'm in the clear.'

'Uh-huh right ok, and next week genius?'

'Well my amazingly beautiful cousin, that's where you come in. You're parent's are going out of town, for the next couple of weeks right?'

'Yea, and?'

'And you, so small and fragile will be home all alone? Afraid and in need of your big, strong, cousin Colin to stay with you?'

'Look whose got a Superman complex! Sorry to break it to ya kid, but you ain't no Clark Kent. You're more like … the side-kick Robin.'

Colin shook his head.

'Rory that's Batman.'

'Oh.'

She looked confused for a moment, while sorting through the very little amount of knowledge she possessed regarding comic book heroes.

'Well then who's Superman's side-kick?'

'He doesn't have one; We're getting off topic!'

'Because you're plan would never work!'

'Why is that?'

'Well for starters, I've stayed home alone since I was like twelve! And second they'll insist that I stay at you're house. Which, I refuse to do!'

'What's wrong with my house?'

'My parent's leaving gets me away from one Hayden for three weeks, and as much as I love you're mom, I'm not willingly walking into the arms of another.'

'Fair enough. Anyway you won't have to because it will work. If it comes down to it I'll make something up. But if they ask..?'

Trailing off he nudged Rory with his shoulder. She sighed and rolled her eye's.

'If they ask, I'm a big baby who needs her big bad cousin to stay with her.'

Smiling he hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

'Yes! You're awesome, I owe you big time!'

'Ewe get off of me!'

Colin stood up and walked over to her laptop.

'So what were you calling me for?'

He minimized her English paper and opened up internet explorer.

Rory shifted uneasily.

'Oh uh, nothing. Just wanted to ask you how everything went.'

Colin turned around in the chair and looked her over. She sat fidgeting with the corner of a throw pillow.

'What's going on now?'

'Nothing.'

'Liar. Try again.'

She threw the pillow behind her and sat up straight.

'OK so I might have done something really stupid. And before you jump to some crazy conclusion I'm not like pregnant or smoking crack or anything. I just might have jumped ahead of myself and made a choice that was just a little bit … well dumb.'

'Is this about Cooper?'

Disgust contorted her face and she shook her head.

'No. It's Tristan.'

The fifty different thoughts that flew through his head in that instant were completely visible to Rory. The mixture of anger and disgust that settled on his face made her laugh.

'Ewe, nothing like that pervert. See I was really upset with him because he told Sean about Cooper instead of just letting me handle it. And I was upset because Sean told you, and you were going to be shipped off to the middle of nowhere; and then what Paris said was making me think to much. And-'

'Your babbling.'

'Right. Anyway, so Tristan came over earlier, and I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore.'

She spit the last few words out in a jumble. Colin's head jerked back in surprise.

'You said what?'

'I told him that-'

'Yea I got what you said Rory. Why would you do something like that?'

'You're angry?'

She was confused, and surprised, and just a little angry herself.

'Well aren't you the brightest crayon in the jumbo box.'

'Colin come on, you have to understand – he lied to me!'

'He didn't lie, he did what was best for you.'

'God I'm so sick of everyone thinking they know what's best for me! I broke up with Cooper in case you've forgotten!'

'I know and that's great, but I also know that if it weren't for the fact that Tristan told Sean, I would have never found out and you wouldn't have ever seen what an asshole he really is. And we both know that you wouldn't have broken up with him otherwise.'

Rory sat quietly and bit her lip, then with sad eyes she looked back up at Colin and smiled.

'Fair enough. I still don't feel like I can trust him.'

Standing up, Colin gave a thoughtful nod.

'I guess I can understand that. I mean you've always been completely honest with him, right?'

The knowing look he was giving her had her jumping to her feet.

'That's not fair! The situations are completely different!'

'Really? And why is that Ror? Because you're you, and he's him?'

She glared at him, anger radiating off her like fire. Colin sighed and stepped toward the door.

'I love you, but I've gotta break it to ya Princess, you're wrong. Go over and apologize to him.'

'What?!'

Waving he opened the door.

'We're so having a movie night! I'm thinking all things Mavric. See ya later roomy.'

With a smirk he walked out the door, leaving a fuming Rory behind. With a huff she turned the lights off, laid down and closed her eyes.


	7. Lovefool

**Chapter 6: Lovefool**

**Hayden house 7:10pm**

Just as suddenly as her eyelashes had touched her cheeks, they parted. Groaning she pulled herself up onto her elbows and looked out the window to her right; from her room she could see directly into Tristan's. She got up and closed the doors to her balcony, hoping to drown out the music coming from across the way. Heading back toward her bed she cringed as the volume was raised a little higher, just enough to be herd through the walls. She grabbed her phone from the bed and pressed send. She pulled the curtains aside and saw Colin emerge from the front door. He looked up at Tristan's room and shook his head while taking his phone from his pocket.

'_I know, I'm going.'_

'Thank you. I guess I really do need my big bad cousin huh? At least I won't be lying.'

'_He's just trying to get to ya Ror.'_

'I know, I just wish he'd use better music.'

Colin laughed.

'_I'll call you tomorrow.'_

'K. Bye.'

They both hung up and Rory watched as he made his way to The DuGrey's front door, knocked, and a minute later proceeded to go inside. With a satisfied smirk she sat down and waited for the awful sound to disappear, but even the noise he claimed to be music – couldn't keep her from letting the smirk turn into a small smile. He was such a girl sometimes.

'_Love me love me  
Say that you love me  
Leave me leave me  
Just say that you need me  
I cant care bout anything but you..._

Lately I have desperately pondered,  
Spent my nights awake and I wonder  
What I could have done in another way  
To make you stay  
Reson will not lead to solution  
I will end up lost in confusion  
I dont care if you really care  
As long as you dont go'

Her smile grew a little bigger as the night became silent once again. She looked back over at Tristan's room and watched as Colin and he spoke intensely. Getting up she once again laid down in an attempt to sleep. After a few minutes she threw a pillow across the room out of frustration, then continued singing quietly to herself. Her last thought before drifting off to sleep was that maybe his taste in music wasn't all bad.

**DuGrey house 7:15pm**

The second the doorbell rang Tristan knew that either a neighbor had come to complain, or Rory had come to bitch him out. Seeing as how he could see her throwing a hissy fit through her window, he was going to go with the latter. Quick footsteps made their way up the stairs and toward his bedroom. He groaned and made his way over to the door, just as a knock came from the other end. Upon opening it, he was a bit surprised by who he found. Without a word, Colin moved passed him, walked directly to his stereo and turned it off.

'Hey!'

'Are you ten?'

'Oh wow so she called in the big guns on this one. I'm assuming you're here to tell me what an incredible asshole I am?'

'Calm down, I'm on you're side.'

'You are?'

'Yea. I mean, while I don't agree with the way you handled it, I see that you meant well.'

'Really?'

'Yes. Just don't tell Rory.'

'I guess you haven't heard, I'm no longer aloud to tell Rory anything. It seems I've made it to the top of her frenemy list.'

'Actually I had heard. You're pretty screwed man.'

'Thanks. Is that all, or were you planning on bestowing some more pearls of wisdom?'

'Wow you two are ungrateful. I'm here to help.'

'How is that?'

'Well you want an in with Rory, and I just so happen to be an expert on getting back in the ice queens good graces.'

Tristan thought for a moment then motioned for him to sit down.

'OK first things first, I have to tell you that I've calmed her down a bit. She was incredibly worried about me, which in turn just made her that much more pissed off at you.'

'Why would she worry about you?'

Colin summarized the story for him as quick as possible.

'Oh shit man. Why didn't you say anything? What are you going to do?'

'We've already got it all worked out, and there really wasn't any reason to involve anyone in any of it.'

'Even me?'

'It's no big deal now, you know, and all is well. Now moving on, do you know what the hell Paris said?'

'Yea, apparently she yelled at her in front of half the school, saying that Rory's just like Lorelai when it comes to letting men treat em like shit.'

'What?!'

Colin, looked as if he were going to burst. The first thing drilled into the head of every bundle of society joy, was to always uphold the family name. The second was to stand by you're family no matter what. Lorelai wasn't only his aunt; she was like a second mother. Paris had attacked both his family and his name in front of half of young Hartford. He pulled out his cell phone and found her number. Tristan's eye's widened as the realization of what was happening hit him.

'Paris?'

Sniffling came from the other end.

'_Yea. Colin look I know you're probably calling to tell me off for what I said to Rory, but please not now.'_

His anger visibly disappeared and was replaced with worry.

'Are you crying?'

'_I don't want to talk about it. Is Rory ok?'_

'No, not really. She kind of cut Tristan off.'

'_What does that mean?'_

'She told him she didn't want to be friends anymore. But don't worry about it; I'm taking care of everything.'

'_How come I'm not as comforted by that as I'm meant to be?'_

'Do you really have no faith in me?

'_Of course I don't. No, really I know if anyone can fix what happened today, it's you.'_

He remained silent, not knowing how to respond. He looked away from Tristan's intense gaze. She broke the uncomfortable silence first.

'_Yea so uh, I'm really sorry about everything I said. You know I love Lorelai, and the Hayden's have never been anything but nice to me. I was just talking, I know there's no taking it back really but I couldn't stand the two of you being mad at me. You guy's are my second family. '_

Colin sighed and shook his head.

'I get it. Don't worry about it ok? Friday morning everything will be back to normal.'

'_Friday?'_

'Again with people being ungrateful, what's a guy got to do to get some appreciation around here?'

Paris laughed.

'_I'm sorry, Friday is great, god knows it's a hell of a lot sooner then deserved. Thank you Colin.'_

'Anytime.'

'_So I hear you got him good.'_

'Oh dear Paris you have no idea.'

'_Did you give him one for me?'_

'There were a few with you're name on em.'

They both laughed and said their goodbyes. As soon as the phone clicked closed Tristan began shaking his head.

'What?'

'Sean.'

'What about him?'

'Colin – '

'Don't "Colin" me damn it. Do you want my help or not?'

He sat quietly for a second then sighed and gave an approving nod.

'Alright so I'll talk to Rory later about that. Now tomorrow you will be going to classes, I know you can't bare to be at school all day without her being attached at the hip, but you're just going to have to deal. You have to act like nothing has changed. You're not fazed in the least bit. If she walks by you, smile. If you're around somebody who isn't funny, laugh anyway. And stop blasting these gushy love songs out the window. You're going to make the girl think you're in love with her or something.'

A sad expression appeared and then quickly disappeared across Tristan's face. Not quick enough though, because Colin caught it. His body pulled back suddenly, as if trying to escape from the room.

'No way.'

Confused, Tristan began to shake his head.

Colin stayed silent, while a million different occasions replayed in his mind. He felt like he was acting out a bad teen drama all of a sudden. As if it were scripted, everything suddenly made perfect sense; and he just started laughing unbelievably.

'No-freakin-way man!'

Tristan had apparently reached the acceptance stage in this process. He inhaled a long deep breath and released it slowly, while rubbing his hands over his face, an attempt to wake himself up from the nightmare this day had been.

Colin sat up straight and laughed again.

'Well, I guess this means we need a new plan huh?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Song: Lovefool By The Cardigans


	8. There's a storm brewing

**Chapter 7: Something tells me there's a storm brewing**

**Wednesday 3:30 am **

She cringed as she pushed the bedroom door open, praying that it didn't make any noise and wake somebody up. She slipped into the room, and closed the door slowly, jumping when she herd the click.

'If you're a burglar, I must tell you that my neighbors are shopping addicts and have things much more valuable then anything you'll find in here.'

Gasping, Rory spun around and found Tristan in bed, holding himself up on his elbows.

'You're awake.'

'Seriously? I thought I was sleeping quite peacefully.'

'I'm not addicted to shopping.'

'I beg to differ.'

'You're lights were off.'

'I was attempting sleep.'

'Yea me to.'

'And?'

'I'm at home knocked out as we speak.'

They both remained silent for a long while. Rory shifting from foot to foot, her arms crossed under her chest. Tristan finally sighed, then threw his blanket back and sat on the edge of his bed.

'Why are you here Rory?'

'I thought we just discussed that.'

'Ror.'

She sighed, walked over to his bed and sat down next to him.

'I've been in bed since like seven thirty, and am unable to fall asleep.'

'So you came here because?'

'I spent the first hour of that time humming Lovefool! You know how much I hate that song!'

He smirked, but remained silent.

'Do you want me to go Tristan? Because if you do I'll go, no problem.'

'You know I don't. But you can't tell me that you don't want to be friends anymore, and then a few hours later come sneaking into my room, expecting everything to be ok.'

'Oh come on you and I both know I didn't mean that.'

'Do we?'

'Ok fine I did mean it at the time, but it just came out and I couldn't take it back.'

'Why not? Do you know how much hearing that hurt me?'

He stood up and moved a few feet away form her.

'Yes! I'm sorry.'

'It's not as easy as that.'

'Why, because you want to teach me some lesson? I can't just pick and choose when I want to be friends with you? News flash I know that, and that's not what this is. I'm sorry, so stop being pig headed and forgive me, the way I've forgiven you.'

He pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

'You don't know me.'

Rory laughed and took hold of his arm. She pulled him back toward the bed.

'Of course I don't, now come on lets go to sleep.'

She laid down and pulled the blankets up around her, Tristan laid down beside her and did the same. Rory smiled and rolled onto her side to face him. He turned his head to look at her and smiled.

'I really am sorry.'

Rory nodded then rolled back onto her back.

'Me to.'

She picked up his hand and measured it against hers. They both lay quiet for a minute, then Rory entwined her fingers with his and moved as close to his as possible. She leaned her head on his shoulder and laid her arm across his stomach. Tristan shifted, she instinctively lifted her head and waited until his arm moved beneath it to lay back down. He rubbed her shoulder unconsciously as she closed her eyes.

'Promise me something?'

She said sleepily.

'Hmm?

He asked in a daze.

'No more fighting and we'll always be friends. I can't handle anything else changing.'

Tristan ran his free hand over his face.

'Tris?'

He sighed and gave a small nod.

'Yea I promise.'

She smiled.

'Love ya.'

'I love you to.'

He felt her body relax as she drifted off to sleep. He sighed again.

'_Well there goes that.'_

With that last thought he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

**Chilton Prep. 7:45 am**

Rory and Tristan were walking down the hall way talking about some assignment that they had missed the week before, when another body collided with Rory's. The girl began to apologize then abruptly stopped. Rory looked at the red headed girl before her and her face hardened. The girl let out a short breath and dropped her hands to her side.

'Sorry.'

Rory rolled her eyes and started to speak when Tristan grabbed her arm.

'Rory don't. Just let it go.'

She looked at him, daggers shooting from her eyes. She bit her bottom lip and pushed passed the girl, almost knocking her over. Tristan stayed behind and watched her go.

'Well she's pissed.'

He looked to the girl in front of him, she stood with her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around her body. He put his hand on her shoulder and shook her softly, she opened one eye and he smirked.

'You ok kid?'

She opened the other eye and looked at him as if he were crazy.

'Dude you got a death wish or something?'

'Meaning?'

'In case you didn't notice, you're perfect little princess just walked away. If you value you're life in any way, you'd better follow her.'

'I like to take risks.'

'Well leave me out of you're little game.'

She started to move past him when he grabbed her shoulder to stop her. Tristan bent his knees, so that they were the same height.

'I'm starting to feel like you don't want to be seen with me.'

'And people call you dumb!'

He stood up and laughed.

'What am I bad for you're rep or something?'

'Exactly, now move.'

'Dude come on.'

'Don't call me dude.'

'But you just! OK I'm sorry. Anna, will you please take five minutes out of you're hectic schedule to talk to a friend?'

She gave a thoughtful pause then looked him in the eyes, shook her head and then said with a sad voice.

'We're not friends. Remember?'

Tristan leaned his head back and sighed. Anna walked by him without pausing to look back.

He set off in the direction Rory had previously went in. As he turned the corner to the hallway in which their lockers were, he was instantly met with two pairs of eyes. One set red with anger, and the other clouded with worry. He stopped next to Madeline and rolled his eyes.

'What now?'

Rory stared at him with a blank expression, then closed her locker and walked away, knowing that he wouldn't be dumb enough to go after her.

'What did you do Tristan?'

'Nothing!'

He feigned innocence.

'Yea right. Spill! Before I go get Finn and have him make you tell me.'

'Oh sweetie I am so not afraid of Finn.'

'Then I'll call Paris!'

Tristan laughed then leaned against Rory's locker.

'We were walking down the hall and her and Anna ran into each other …. Literally.'

'Oh no.'

'Exactly. I told her to just let it go, and she walked away.'

'And that's why she's mad?'

'Well as you were able to see … I arrived a bit later then Rory did.'

'Tristan!'

'What?'

He gave her another innocent look.

'Why are you intentionally pushing her away?'

'What?'

He stood straight and stuffed his hands deep into his pockets, honestly confused.

'First Cooper, now Anna of all people! What's you're deal?'

'Nothing! I just wanted to see how she was doing!'

Madeline stayed quiet, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not, after a minute she gave up and sighed.

'And?'

'And what?'

She leaned forward and whispered.

'How is she doing?'

He sighed and his shoulders fell.

'I don't know. She wouldn't talk to me. She said that we're not friends, and then walked away.'

Madeline's shoulders fell to as she sighed.

'Come on let's get to class.'

Tristan nodded and they both walked off in different directions.

**Chilton Library 12:05 pm**

She had rushed out of their Math class before he was given the chance to attempt conversation with her for the third time that day. It took him a minute to catch up with her, but there she was sitting in the computer section of the library. She wouldn't talk to him if he just walked up to her, that he knew for sure. He needed to find some way to get her attention. There was a free computer a few feet away from him, so he sat down and did the only thing he could think of. With a few clicks and key strokes he was signed on to his instant messenger. Excitement filled him as he saw that she was online, smiling he clicked on her screen name and began typing.

TAD21: Hey

LadyRed: Who's this?

TAD21: Wow forgot me already? I'm heart broken.

LadyRed: Tristan?

TAD21: depends … r u gonna block me if I say yes?

LadyRed: wtF is with u?

TAD21: uhh?

LadyRed: Well let's see … if ur bestest little girlfriend found out u were talking to me she would more then likely kill you yet I seem to be ur favorite person 2 play stalkerottsi with today

TAD21: Nice choice of words there…..

LadyRed: is this why you messaged me? Damn you guy's are really going out of you're way now 4 a person u claim 2 hate

TAD21: sry … it was reflex … And who the hell said that I hated you?

LadyRed: nvm 4 get it, what do you want?

TAD21: How ya doin?

LadyRed: How do u think im doing?!

TAD21: Anna I'm sorry….

LadyRed: Yea well ….

TAD21: doesn't mean much huh?

LadyRed: ……..

TAD21: I understand …. I haven't given u any reason to believe me

LadyRed: …………

TAD21: Ann come on kid

LadyRed: You chose ur side Tristan

TAD21: She's my best friend!

LadyRed: so was i!

LadyRed: or at least I thought I was ….

TAD21: u r … but it's different you know that

LadyRed: u cant have it both ways now … if it helps … I think u made the right choice

TAD21: there was no right choice! Right would be there never having to be a choice and Chris still being here!

TAD21: but no matter what uve still always been one of my best friends and we all miss u

Error: LadyRed has signed off

He looked over the computer screen and saw that she was gone. Tristan looked around the library and there was no trace of her, sighing he signed out and left the library. He headed in the direction of the cafeteria where he knew he would find his friends most likely sitting at separate tables, seeing as how Paris and Rory were still at odds.

Rory had forgiven him sometime during second period, she had given Finn a note that was to be given to him right in the middle of class, thus increasing the risk of them getting caught passing said note. The reason that he knew this was because she had written just so.

Hey Neighbor boy,

Just wanted to tell you that you're a jerk, but I forgive you. Hopefully Mr. Branson will turn around and catch the two of you passing notes. Yes Finny the two of you!! Stop being nosey! Anyway Paris is sitting next to me tapping her irritating pencil and pretending to not glance over and read what I'm writing every two seconds. Now she slammed her pencil on the table and Mr. Medina's giving her that look he gets when he's trying to look stern … you know the one. Now Finns getting the same look for laughing at her. Ok jerk see you at lunch.

Xoxo The girl next door

p.s. don't know what you were thinking dude but it was most likely insane …. You'll explain later though I'm sure

As he turned the corner, one hand stuffed in his pocket making a popping noise and the other holding his backpack securely on his shoulder, he stumbled backward as Rory ran into him, causing Paris who was right behind her, to run into the both of them. Rory let out an irritated screech and pushed her bag at Tristan making him stumble again, then she turned on Paris who was straightening out her skirt.

'What is you're problem?'

Paris looked up at her completely pissed off.

'The only problem I have is that you're walking around like you own the place! Running into people and being completely inconsiderate!'

'You're nuts! I was trying to get to my locker but you were following me! Which, is why I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'

'Wow could you be any more full of you're self? I was going to my locker which just so happens to be right next to yours!'

Rory closed her mouth tight and looked down at the floor.

Clearing his throat Tristan stepped up beside the two.

'I'm having a great day, I got a B on that essay from last week, haven't gotten any detentions yet and I'm getting a front seat view to a cat fight. I'm so happy I didn't go to lunch with Maddy.'

Both girls turned on him.

'Shut up Tristan!'

They said simultaneously. Then without thinking Rory smiled excitedly.

'You really got a B?'

Paris turned back to Rory glaring, and effectivly bringing her back to their argument.

'Are you talking to him?'

'What?'

'Don't what me! Why are you talking to Tristan and not me?'

Tristan smirked.

'Coz I'm irresistible.'

'Shut up!'

They repeated.

'Ok.'

'Colin said that you told him you didn't want to be friends anymore.'

'I did.'

'Then why aren't you ignoring _him_?'

'Because he's my friend.'

'You're psychotic.'

'You're …. A bottle blonde!'

She responded lamely. Tristan held a laugh back then tilted his head and closed one eye, while looking at Paris.

'Serious?'

'No you idiot!'

'You've known her since forever why would you even ask?'

'Coz he's an idiot!'

'You know questions like that are the reason blondes are stereotyped.'

'Oh it has nothing to do with his hair color, he's just an idiot.'

'First of all stop calling me an idiot you little home wreaker. And second of all you're both nuts!'

'Home wreaker? How is she a home wreaker? How are you a home wreaker?'

Paris glared at a smirking Tristan, then at a gossip hungry Rory.

'You know what forget it. You two deserve each other, I'm going to PE.'

'Wait Paris I wanna know! How are you a home wreaker?'

Rory whined and began bouncing on her feet like an antsy 5 year old.

'I'm sorry I only talk to my friends, Tristan I'll see you in class.'

She pushed passed a pouting Rory with a grunt. After she was gone Rory turned back to Tristan.

'Spill!'

'It was a joke Ror.'

'You're lying! Part of the deal was no secrets.'

'What deal?'

'The deal we made to be friends again.'

'Oh that deal? Sorry I tend to forget things that never happened.'

'Well there was supposed to be a deal, and part of it was that we wouldn't keep secrets from each other. So spill.'

'OK uhmm no, and I'm going to go do that PE thing Paris mentioned.'

He kissed her on the forehead, smoothed her hair with one hand, and placed her bag on her shoulder with his other hand. Rory stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.

'You suck.'

'Bye Mare.'

'Bye Jerk face.'

She turned and watched him walk away then jumped when she heard someone clapping. Cooper came to a stop beside her.

'Now that was absolutely adorable.'

Rory's eyes narrowed in anger, as she turned to him; though upon seeing his face, she instantly found herself unable to contain the eruption of laughter that burst from her lips.


	9. Chracked Hearts

A/N: Ok so I think I've forgotten to mention that this story is set in 2008 … and while writing this chapter I realized that, that information is important. So in case there was any confusion with that, hope that clears it up. Sorry and Thank you 

**--**

**Chapter 8: The Crack in my heart keeps growing  
and the pain doesn't seem to fade**

**Wednesday 2:20pm**

'Well you're the last person I thought I'd see here.'

Anna jumped, the voice startling her. She twisted her body to see the person standing behind her, after whipping the tears from her cheeks she moved to stand up but Colin's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

'Stay, I could use the company. Chris isn't very talkative these days.'

'That not funny.'

'I know, sorry.'

He sat down next to her and stared intently at the stone embedded in the earth before him.

**Christopher Richard Hayden**

**Beloved Son, Brother, **

**Grandson, Nephew, Cousin and Friend**

**May 21****st**** 1992 – March 15****th**** 2006**

Neither said anything, they just sat quietly and stared. It would be two years next week, which is why Colin figured his aunt and uncle were getting as far away from Hartford as possible; and if he were to be completely honest with himself he would admit that his staying with Rory was more about keeping an eye on her then it was about hiding from his parent's. Although there were a dozen other places he could go, no questions asked, he knew where he needed to be. You would think that after the struggle Rory went through over her twin brother's death, the last thing Christopher and Lorelai Hayden would want to do was leave her alone. She seemed to be doing well though, which is what Lorelai had told his mother earlier in the week, so they weren't worried, Rory's a smart girl, she said.

He jumped slightly at the sound of Anna trying to catch her breath. He instinctively moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her.

She buried her head in his shoulder and began to cry harder.

'I miss him so much, sometimes I feel like the pain isn't ever going to go away.'

Cressing her hair in a soothing motion Colin began to chock up.

'I know kid, trust me I know.'

She began to cry a little harder, so he tightened his hold on her.

After a few minutes, the sobs subsided and Anna slowly pulled away. She whipped her eyes and cheeks then looked at Colin with a confused expression.

'What are you doing here?'

'Got suspended.'

'Oh that's right you punched Rory's boyfriend.'

'Ex-boyfriend and it was totally worth it. Anyway I'm hiding from my parent's.'

'Why? It's not like it's the first time.'

'Exactly. I've been threatened with Boot Camp if I get in one more minor confrontation.'

'Oh that sucks.'

'Yea. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be in like Geography right now or something?'

'How do you know that?'

He looked away embarrassed and shook his head.

'We still pay attention Ann.'

'Not Rory.'

'Actually Rory more then anybody.'

'Tristan was following me around all day. Couldn't take it anymore so I left. Got in the car and just ended up here.'

'Tristan was following you? God that boy is dumb, he is incapable of taking orders isn't he?'

'Apparently. I told him to leave me the hell alone three times and he didn't get the hint. But I'm going to guess that's not what you're talking about.'

'He like's Rory.'

'You mean like, Likes, Likes Rory?'

'Yep.'

'And he thinks talking to me of all people right in front of her, is going to make her want him back?'

'Like I said he's not very bright.'

'Obviously.'

They once again fell into a comfortable silence. After a minute passed Colin put his arm over Anna's shoulders and pulled her close to him, she laid her head on his shoulder and they both sighed.

'I've missed ya kid.'

'I miss you to. All of you. Most of you.'

'She's still hurting, and doesn't mean half of the crap she says.'

'Part of me wants to believe that, but the other part of me remembers how easily you all walked away'

She moved away from him and stood up. Sighing Colin said a silent 'I miss you' to his cousin then stood up as well.

'He's was her brother Anna and my cousin.'

'Yea well he was my boyfriend! I was hurting just as much as you guy's! I still am!'

'I know and leaving you to go through it alone was wrong of us, you were our friend to. But Rory…'

He paused and shook his head, trying to find the right words. Anna chocked back her tears and laughed bitterly.

'She blames me because I was with him. I was driving and we were drunk! Don't you think I know all of this? Don't you think I wake up every morning knowing that I'm going to get to school and he's not going top be there! And it's my fault! I killed him! You think I don't know that I – I'

Her voice broke and the tears flooded from her eyes. Colin pulled her into his arms once again. He held her tight as she sobbed, every now and then a chocked 'It's my fault' made its way through her tears, and he would hold her tighter.

**Chilton Prep 3:00 pm**

As she made her way out of the school Paris attempted to look over the large stack of books in her hands. Failing to see the last step she tripped and hit the ground with a loud thud.

'Shit!'

She shouted then instantly groaned at the pains shooting through her ankle and arm.

'Hey you ok?'

Footsteps ran towards her then came to an abrupt stop.

'Paris?'

The laughter that immediately followed the boy's recognition, made her groan and roll over onto her back while holding her left arm bent towards her chest. He stopped laughing and bent down beside her.

'You ok?'

'Do I look ok idiot?'

'You know there's only so many times I'm going to allow you to call me that before I really get pissed Pairs. I'm trying to help'

She sat up slowly then winced'

'OK that definitely isn't ok.'

'Its my arm and my ankle.'

Tristan threw his stuff on the steps behind him then bent over to help her up.

'Here put you're arm over my shoulders.'

She did as told, then proceeded to hop over to the wall with his assistance. Once she was safely sitting down, he went back and picked up her books. She watched him quietly while rubbing her wrist.

'Sorry I called you an idiot.'

'Which time?'

'Only the times that you didn't deserve it.'

He laughed then sat down beside her.

'You're forgiven. So you go to the same doctor as me right?'

She sat up straight and her eyes grew.

'Why?'

He laughed again.

'Well because that looks pretty painful and I'm sure only a doctor would know how to fix it.'

'I don't like doctor's Tristan!'

'I know but you still have to go; unless you want to walk with a limp from now on.'

'Shut up!'

'Paris come on, seriously it's not going to be that bad. I'll be there the whole time.'

'That's supposed to make me feel better?'

He picked up his bag'

'My car's just right there, I'm going to bring it over and we're going to get you to the doctor.'

Before she could register the fact that he was gone he was already at his car and inserting the key. The sleek sports car pulled to a silent stop a few steps away from her and Tristan jumped out. He opened the passenger door and then once again she placed her arm around his shoulders. After placing her in the car he put all of her books in the trunk, slid into drivers seat and pulled out of the school parking lot.

'So.'

Paris looked at him quizzically.

'So?'

'I told Colin.'

'Told Colin what?'

'I told him about my feeling's for Rory.'

She gave an understanding nod then shifted in her seat, trying to relieve the pressure on her left leg.

'How did he react?'

'Well he called me an ass fewer times then you did.'

'I didn't call you an ass! I said that you were acting asinine!'

'I fail to see the difference. And besides I don't see a problem with me telling her, I mean friends fall for each other all of the time. There's nothing wrong with that, its completely natural. Don't you agree?'

'Yea I guess. You know somebody long enough it's only natural that certain feeling's develop. You can't really help it, it's like one day you're friends and everything's comfortable; and then the next day everything's just thrown completely out of whack over a touch or a look. One stupid feeling that you don't entirely understand but can't say anything about on the off chance that the other person might not have felt it, and then there are people involved that will get hurt. So you push it aside and pretend like nothing has changed but then all you get is this increasingly tense environment and nobody knows what to do, but it's there and everyone knows it's there because it's …. Undeniable.'

Tristan gave an understanding nod and smirked.

'Not to mention its scary as hell.'

'Exactly!'

Catching herself she looked quickly to Tristan then down at her feet.

'I mean so I've herd.'

'Really? Well you talk like you've got experience.'

She sat quietly and Tristan sighed.

'What's going on Paris? I thought you and Sean were doing good.'

'We are! I love him!'

She still hadn't looked up.

'Then? What the deal? Why are you and Colin having touches and looks?'

'We're not!'

'Paris come on, of all people, you know you can be honest with me and it not leave this car.'

She sighed again.'

'I don't know. It's just … never mind.'

'Dude I trusted you with how I felt the least you could do is trust me!'

'I love him Tristan, I really do. Whenever I see him I get this girly bubbly feeling in my stomach and can't help but smile.'

'Who are we talking about?'

'Sean!'

'Sorry! Continue.'

'I love him, but with Colin..'

She gave another thoughtful pause and then smiled.

'He gives me butterflies, and when he isn't around I find myself wanting him to be, just so I can feel that flutter. Ya know what I mean?'

She looked at him questioningly, her eyes silently pleading with him to say yes he knew, she wasn't alone in this. Smiling sadly he nodded.

'I know exactly what you mean.'

'What am I going to do? They're two of my best friends!'

'It'll work out, and you'll be with the person you're meant to be with.'

'How do you know that?'

Smirking he tapped her head.

'Stop listening to this.'

He then proceeded to place his hand over his heart.

'And start listening to this.'

'That's unbelievably corny.'

'I like to call it romantic.'

'Call it what you want but we're here.'

She pointed to the doctor's office in front of them.

'You know it doesn't even really hurt anymore.'

'Is that right? Straighten out you're arm.'

'No, I don't have to prove anything to you.'

'OK then.'

She gave a childlike nod, thinking she had won, then the instant her head was turned she let out a howl of pan. Tristan pulled his hand back quickly.'

'What the hell is wrong with you?'

'I'm going to guess it still hurts.'

'You flicked me!'

'You lied about it feeling better!'

Not giving her a chance to respond, he jumped out of the car and ran over to her side. As they entered the office Tristan couldn't help but laugh as she called him names in a hushed tone. He sat her down then walked up to the nurses window.


	10. Something about today is different

Thursday 7:45am Chilton Prep

**Chapter 9: Something about Today is Different,  
Something about today is wrong**

**Thursday 7:45am Chilton Prep**

Tristan approached with caution, the second he had turned the corner heading towards her locker he had sensed the shift in atmosphere. He watched from a distance at first, as she shoved book after book irritably into her locker, then swallowing the unsettling feeling in his throat he started towards her. She stopped mid shove and turned on him, as if she had smelled the fear in his blood. Smiling charmingly he came to a stop next to her.

'That's some pretty sweet gear you've got yourself Geller.'

'You little'

She paused, eyes narrowed in deep concentration.

'ASS!'

'What did I do?'

He pointed at himself innocently.

'If I were able to lift both of my arms I'd be beating the crap out of you right now!'

He couldn't hold back his laughter any longer, Paris eye's grew as a voice sounded from behind Tristan calling out to him.

'Tristan!'

Rory came to a stop beside Tristan and a hand flew over her mouth.

'Don't you dare say a word.'

Stifling her giggles, Rory let her concern come forward.

'What happened?'

'She fell down the steps outside yesterday, the ones in the student parking.'

'Oh my God, are you ok?'

'Do I look ok?'

'Right, sorry.'

'She broke her ankle, well it's a hairline break and a torn ligament, and she messed up her wrist pretty damn bad. Hence the casts.'

'Casts?'

Sean came up behind them and upon seeing Paris, he rushed to her side.

'What the hell happened?'

'I'm fine; I just had a small accident.'

'A small accident? Paris, you look like you went a few rounds with Barbie, what's with all the pink?'

Tristan cleared his throat.

'Actually it's fuschia.'

Sean eyed him suspiciously.

'Dude, why do you know that?'

Paris tossed her head in his direction, while shifting her weight onto the crutch under her good arm.

'It's his fault that I look like a piece of bubble gum!'

'What happened to good old fashioned gratitude? I did something nice out of pure concern for my friends well being and this is the thanks I get.'

'You had the doctor drug me.'

Tristan rolled his eyes, as his two other friends stared at him in disbelief.

'He didn't drug her, he gave her a sedative to put her to sleep. When he asked what color cast she might want, I told him her favorite color was fuschia.'

Sean shook his head in confusion.

'Wait you went with her to the doctor?'

Tristan could sense the uneasiness in his friends voice, so he remained silent while he turned to Paris.

'Why didn't you call me?'

'Because I was fine, there was no reason to call and worry you. Tristan was there when I fell and'

She paused a moment and looked from Tristan to Rory then back to her boyfriend. She shook her head and closed her locker, positioning her bag over her good shoulder she leaned back onto her crutch.

'You know what, you're my boyfriend not my husband. And Tristan's my friend, so I really don't need to explain myself to you. I'm going to class.'

She kissed a shocked Sean on the cheek and then limped away at a surprisingly quick speed.

The three friends remained silent for awhile until Rory tilted her head to the side.

'What?'

She pointed behind herself in the direction Paris had left, confused. Sean shook his head and looked helplessly to Tristan for some sort of answer.

'What the hell was that?'

'I don't know man, maybe a side effect from the pills they gave her?'

Rory looked to him curiously.

'What did they give her?'

'Vicodin?'

She gave an understanding nod then walked over to her locker, opened it.

'And here we all thought there was no way to make her scarier.'

Tristan laughed while Sean remained in silent shock.

'Man just forget it, she'll forget completely about it in an hour or so. You've known she was insane since the day you guys met.'

'But all I asked is why she didn't call!'

'Yea well it's kinda like that egg commercial. This is you're brain. This is you're brain on drugs.'

Rubbing his head Sean walked away mumbling something about all women being insane. Tristan laughed and leaned against Paris locker staring at Rory.

'Why so quiet?'

'I'm not being quiet.'

'Yea you are. I mean you didn't even tease Paris about the Pink.'

'Oh, I guess I just figured she was upset enough.'

There was an emptiness in her voice that had Tristan standing straight and turning her face to search her eye's.

'What's wrong?'

Her eye's filled with tears, but in an instant she remembered there were still students all around them, most of which were most-likely watching them. She smiled and shook her head as Tristan let his hand drop.

'You're crying.'

'Got something in my eye.'

She turned back to her locker and finished putting her books in, while regaining her composure. Placed a smiled on her face and turned back in fake excitement.

'Did I tell you I ran into Cooper yesterday? After you left for PE. He came up to me acting all jerky and when I turned to tell him to shove it where the sun don't shine, he had make-up on!'

He searched her eyes for a second and then decided she'd tell him later. Going along with it he laughed.

'I always told you he was Gay.'

'He was covering up the bruise my wonderful cousin left him.'

'What did you say?'

'Nothing! What could I say? I just burst into laughter, I know it was mean but Tris he had foundation on!'

'Hey I'm not going defend the guy I would've laughed to. After taking a picture and sending it to Louise so it would get around the school as quickly as possible.'

'Damn it! I knew I forgot something!'

'It's OK maybe you'll run into him again today. I've got to go though.'

'Wow somebody's anxious to learn.'

'Yea you know me.'

He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

'I'll see you later.'

She smiled and watched as he walked off. Sighing she put her bag in her locker and then shifted nervously from one foot to the other and glanced continuously to her left then back into her locker. She pulled out a notepad, pen and her cell phone; As she reached to get her textbook, the bell rang and one by one students disappeared behind doors. She looked around the empty hallway and began breathing harder. The sudden feeling that the walls were closing in on her had her falling to her knees clutching her cell phone and dropping everything else in the process. She sat back against her locker and dialed the number imbedded in her memory, gasped for breath and placed the phone to her ear.

'Hey kiddo, shouldn't you be in class?'

Without saying a word she burst into tears.

'Rory?'

'Mommy.'

'I knew I shouldn't have let you go to school today. I'm coming to get you sweetie.'

Forcing herself to catch her breath she began shaking her head as if her mother could see her.

'No, no it's ok. I'm fine, I'll be Ok.'

'Rory honey you're not fine.'

'It's just really, really hard sometimes.'

Lorelai let out a long sigh, and Rory knew she was on the verge of tears now herself.

'I know babe.

'I've got to get going I'm already running late.'

'Are you sure? I can come get you Ror. Or Colin, do you want him to bring you home?'

'Tempting, but no I'll be fine. If I'm not I'll ask him, I promise.'

'OK kid, I love you.'

'Love you to.'

She closed the phone and looked around, nobody would see her if she just got up and left. Now more then ever she wished she could just get in her car and drive until she ran out of road. There was a voice in her head that kept telling her to just go home and stay in bed for the next few weeks. Then there was that other little voice, fighting to be heard, scratching and clawing at her subconscious telling her what she needed to do. Today was one of those days, she wanted to listen to that voice, tell it, it was right and just give in. But she didn't. Instead she gathered all of her energy, stood up, gathered her things together, fixed her hair in the small mirror in her locker, wiped the smeared mascara from beneath her eye's and walked into her first period class with an apologetic smile on her face.

**12:10pm Cafeteria**Madeline walked into the lunch room carrying the pink bag her families cook put her lunch in every morning. Doing a quick scan of the large room she found Rory sitting alone at a table in the back of the room, reading a book and listening to whatever weird music was playing on her ipod. Smiling she made her way over to her friend and sat down across from her. Rory glanced up from her book and then back down. Madeline knew she would finish the page before removing the earphones and placing both things neatly beside her lunch tray. She waited a few more minutes, readying her own meal in the process. She waited to begin eating until Rory earmarked her spot, and turned the ipod off.

'So what's the book of the day?'

Rory remained silent and turned the book so that she could see the title, while placing a mouthful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.

'Moby Dick. What's wrong?'

'Why do you assume something's wrong?'

She took another bite causing Madeline to make a disgusted face.

'How do you eat that stuff?'

'Well it's a rather complex process. You see first, I get the food onto the fork like so.'

She demonstrated the action for her friend, who in turn rolled her eye's.

'Shut up, you know what I'm talking about. The cafeteria food is disgusting.'

'Well I think you're Soy patty lettuce rap is disgusting. Evens things out doesn't it?'

She smiled cheekily at her friend who stuck her tongue out at her.

'I know something's wrong because you're reading you're, 'something's wrong but I'm going to deny it', book.'

'Well now why would you ask if you've already got the answer?'

'Whoa!'

Rory sighed, tilted her head to the side and played with her food.

'Sorry, I just-'

Madeline smiled and gave a short nod while putting her hands in the air.

'Don't wanna talk about I. I get it.'

Rory smiled and looked down at her tray, distractedly. Madeline threw a nod in her direction.

'Hey.'

She looked up at her friend who was studying her.

'But if you ever do wanna talk about it, you know I'm here right? Day or night.'

'Yea? Rain or snow?'

'Whenever.'

'How about if you're with a really hot guy and I call and I'm all, Mads I need you?'

"I'd steal his car and leave him on the side of the road.'

'Dirty! Why are you on the side of the road with hot guy?'

'Because he's hot, how are we possibly gonna make it back to my place without jumping each other?'

Rory laughed, her first real laugh of the day.

'Thanks Maddy.'

Madeline simply smiled as she bit into her sandwich. After a few minutes of random talking, Paris walked over with Louis and Finn following her. She slammed her tray on the table causing both girls to jump a little. Rory looked from her to the two standing behind her. Finn shook his head while Louis who looked clearly irritated, tapped her foot impatiently. Rory looked back to Paris who had her hand placed on her hip expectantly.

'Am I aloud to sit with you guy's today you're majesty?'

Madeline's eye's widened as did Rory's.

'Well? Are you just going to sit there or are you going to remember that you've got you're self a brain unlike these two?'

She tossed her head back. Louis and Finn looked at each other then moved around Paris and sat down. She looked at them as if they had grown a third head.

'What are you doing?'

'Eating! She's not mad at us.'

'So who's going to sit with me?'

'I don't know love why don't you ask one of the lovely girls in you're head.'

She looked between the two and glared. Rory moved to the empty seat across from Finn.

'Sit down Paris, where's you're crutch?'

The girl sat down slowly trying to find a comfortable position.

'The stupid thing was irritating me so I threw it at Sean's locker.'

Everybody at the table looked at each other, silently begging each other to be the next to speak. Before anyone could say anything though, a very irritated Sean, carrying the aforementioned crutch, and an equally amused Tristan came through the doors and over to the table. He shoved the crutch in Paris face. She looked at it bemused then back up at her boyfriend. Tristan walked over and took the empty seat beside Rory grabbing a chip off her tray in the process.

'What the hell Paris?'

'What?'

'You dented my locker! Headmaster Charleston is going to make my parents pay for that!'

He pulled a chair over from another table and placed it in front of her so she could put her leg up; Then proceeded to take the seat across from her. Tristan watched his friend cater to his girlfriend, and shook his head sadly. Rory bumped him bringing his attention to her.

'What's up?'

'Nothing.'

He glanced at the book beside her tray.

'Moby Dick? What's wrong?'

Rory rolled her eye's and looked to Madeline who laughed. Paris turned to Rory, effectively ignoring Sean who sighed.

'I'm right there with ya sister!'

Tristan looked between the two girls confused but he wasn't alone, every other person at the table wore the same expression as he did.

'Does that book have some like Bitchy underlining to it?'

Paris glared at him then turned back to her lunch. The table grew quiet once again, until a minute later she dropped her fork on the plate and groaned painfully.

Sean jumped forward immediately.

'What's wrong?'

'The stupid pills wearing off.'

'When's the last time you took one?'

'I don't know like 6 clock.'

'I'll go get it. Is it in you're locker?'

She gave short nod and he turned to leave. Rory stood up causing everyone to look to her.

'Stay with Paris. I'll go.'

Nodding he sat back down. Tristan looked up at her, worry clouding his eye's.

'You want me to come with you?'

'No I'm a big girl. I'll be back. Don't eat all my food.'

She moved around him and left the cafeteria. He watched her for a second before pulling her try in front of him and digging into her lunch.

**Chilton hallway**

She walked slowly, taking the long way to Paris locker. The need to get away from that table was overwhelming; she honestly didn't know how many more times she could hear, 'What's wrong?' or 'Are you OK?' Obviously she wasn't OK, and obviously she didn't want to talk about it. Why did people have to be so damn nosey all of the time? Sighing she rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair, pulling it back into a knot in the process. Honestly she knew they weren't prying but only caring. There was only so many sympathetic smiles she could take though. It was as if every one knew she was on the verge of breaking down, when in all reality nobody, outside of her family of course, knew just how hard she would fall. How quickly the need to escape would take her over, clouding all judgment and sanity.

That voice would replay itself over and over in her head, telling her she was right, she had every right to feel the way she did. She had lost the person who had meant the most to her in the entire world. He was gone and never coming back, why the hell couldn't anybody understand that, yea she needed to get away sometimes. She needed that escape.

It wasn't until she opened Paris locker coming face to face with herself in the small yellow mirror that she realized she had at some point began to cry. She wiped the tears away and found the white bottle sitting on the top shelf along with some pens and paper clips. Opening the bottle she tilted it and let some of the white pills fall into her palm. It was then that time seemed to freeze and the voice in her head began screaming, reminding her of how good it felt when the pain would fade and that calm serene feeling would wash over her body. As if her hand had a life of it's own, it lifted to her lips and dropped the two bitter tasting pills into her mouth, she dry swallowed with the sort of satisfaction that would tell anybody watching that it was in no way the first time this girl had done so.

Her eye's remained closed for a while as she let the chalky taste disappear from her taste buds, then once again she dropped a pill into her palm, placed the bottle back on the shelf and shut the locker, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror in the process.

As she made her way back to the lunch room, she sighed knowing she had let the taunting little voice she had fought so hard to silence, win; And she knew that this wasn't going to be the last time.

* * *

AN: OK so I know this chapter took a darker turn then expected but I wanted to show just how much Rory was effected by her brothers death.

I'm not sure on the age thing right now, I can't remember if I've actually made Rory older of Chris, so I'm going to check in on that, if not I'm thinking about making them twins bec ause it would bring the story together better.

Anyway I hope you're all enjoying this story so far, and I hope I didn't lose any readers with this storyline, it was planned from the beginning, not someting that just poped into my head spur of the moment.

Like it or not? Tell me what you think! :)


	11. Free Falling

Chapter 10: The Only Difference between

**Chapter 10: **Free Falling

****

Friday 11:00 am 

He was back; sitting in the same spot he had been the day before. An hour earlier he had been watching a grave being dug, listened to the crunch of shovels hitting dirt and men grunting from manual labor. Now though he sat in silence, every now and then a car would drive by on the street and the roar of it's engine would echo throughout the cemetery. School didn't let out until 2:45 so he still had awhile until he needed to be home. At six, he would meet everyone at his aunt and uncles house and go to the country club from there. Later he would return home with Rory where he would remain for the next week, already having talked to his parents. The ringing of his cell phone startled him and had him looking at his watch. It was only a little after eleven, if somebody was calling him during school hours, something was wrong. He took the phone from his pocket and saw Paris's name, worried he quickly pressed talk.

'Hello?'

'Hey.'

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing. Why, do you know something I don't?'

His eye's narrowed and he looked at the phone confused.

'Uh, no. Why aren't you in class?'

'I'm at home. I have a doctor's appointment today but apparently my loving parent's decided a spur of the moment, supposed, business trip to Grease was more important, because they're both gone. So I was wondering if you could maybe pick me up? Unless you're busy of course.'

'No I'm just visiting Chris, I'm sure he'll understand, I've been here all morning. What time's you're appointment?'

'One. But we can hang out here until then.'

'Alright I'll be there in a little bit.'

'Thanks Colin, you're a life saver.'

'No problem. Bye.'

'Bye.'

He ended the call and sighed.

'What am I doing Christopher?'

He waited for a few seconds for some kind of answer. Then laughing at himself he ran a hand through his hair, kissed the tips of his fingers and laid them on the headstone.

He stood and glanced up at the sky while stuffing his hands deep into his pockets.

'Don't let me do something stupid.'

With that being said he bowed his head and walked back to his car.

**Geller residence**

Colin pulled into the mile long driveway of the Geller residence and just about slapped himself. What was he doing? He shouldn't have been there while Sean wasn't around, they both knew that. Why would she call him and not her boyfriend, he would've left school in a second for her. With another sigh he realized it was to late to turn back now, so he turned his car off and strode up to the door, hands deep in his pockets. He was just about to ring the bell when the door opened. His eye's widened at the sight of her.

'What the hell happened to you?'

'Hello to you to.'

'Paris.'

'I fell; Tristan took me to the doctor and thought it would be funny to tell him to make my cast pink.'

He followed her into the family room where she had the TV on and a few DVD's laying on the coffee table.

'Well crap Geller, you fall off the roof or something?'

'No, down the stair's.'

She sat down slowly and winced. Colin moved beside her in a second.

'What is it?'

'The stupid Vicodin's to strong for me, so I'm not taking it. Which is why I didn't go to school today; I was in too much pain and the damn doctor couldn't take me until after lunch.'

'So what are you doing about it?'

She winced again as she shifted.

'Paris I don't think you should be putting any weight on it, especially if you're not taking the meds. Where are you're crutches?'

'There was only one and I forgot it at school.'

'Well just sit back and try not to move so much. '

He helped her put her leg up on the couch, then placed a pillow beneath it and another one behind her back.

'Do you need anything? A blanket, something to drink?'

'I didn't call you to have you take care of me Colin, just sit down.'

'Have you eaten?'

Her face set stubbornly.

'Colin.'

'I want to take care of you damn it, now do you want a sandwich or take-out?'

Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

'A sandwich sounds kind of good.'

He laughed and shook his head amusedly.

'Then a sandwich it is. Watch you're movie.'

She turned back to the TV and tried not to be embarrassed by the fact that the movie playing was Peter Pan, it had just started. Smiling, he turned back to.

'I'll be back.'

After he was out of sight Paris let out a long sigh. She had no idea what she was doing. She knew she shouldn't have called him, Sean or Tristan, Louise, hell even Finn would have come. The problem was that none of they're names registered in her mind when she realized she needed to find a ride, which was a huge problem. Her reasoning was that she simply didn't want to pull any of them out of class, and that's exactly what she was going to tell Sean if he found out. If. She realized that not telling him would make her look even worse in the long run, but she couldn't deal with something she didn't fully understand, not yet anyway. As she was lost in thought, staring blankly at a group pirates, Colin came back into the room carrying two plates and two cans of soda. She tried to move her leg so he could sit, but he shook his head effectively stopping her.

'That was quick.'

He placed her plate in her lap and handed her, her drink, then sat in the floor in front of the coffee table.

'I hope it's ok, I'm not much of a cook.'

Paris laughed while opening the can.

'There's not many ways to screw up a sandwich.'

She took a bite and Colin raised his hands.

'I'd just like it to be known that I offered take-out.'

'It's fine Colin. Very good.'

'Really?'

'Yes.'

She laughed, then winced as a pain shot through her leg.

'Paris are you sure you don't want to try another pill?'

'No, it'll pass. And anyway I left em in my locker, I told Rory to just throw em out.'

He froze, holding his sandwich mid air.

'Rory has them?'

'I don't know if she still does but yea, when I called this morning to tell her to pick up my work, she offered to get em for me.'

'Wait she offered or you asked?'

'What?'

'Never mind. So you've just been sitting around all day watching movies?'

'Yep. I now realize why I like school so much, I hate being home.'

Colin laughed and gave a nod.

'I know the feeling.'

'Is that why you were at the cemetery?'

'No, my parent's don't know I've been suspended; so I'm just hiding out there. The company doesn't suck either. I feel like when I'm there, he's with me ya know?'

She smiled sadly and cleared her throat.

'Yea. It's still strange going to school everyday and him not being there. I mean I know it's been two years but he was there everyday since preschool, it's still hard to believe he's gone.'

Silence enveloped the room for a full minute, when he finally spoke it was as if he were afraid of her reaction.

'I talked to Anna yesterday.'

'What?'

'She was at the cemetery when I got there. She feels like crap Paris, she thinks she killed him.'

'Well, a lot of people would agree with her.'

'Are you one of them?'

She paused a second then shook her head, causing Colin to sigh.

'Me either.'

'It was an accident, and they both made the mistake to get in that car drunk. That never really made sense to me either, I mean neither of them were ever big drinkers, Chris had to have been really upset to have that much alcohol in his system.'

'You know she never did tell where they got it from.'

'God I can't believe it's going to be two years next week. Poor Rory, I couldn't imagine dealing with something like that, I don't know how she does it.'

Colin sighed again and said a silent prayer for his cousin, that she would be strong and fight off whatever temptations were thrown at her.

Paris's voice broke into his thought's.

'Thank you for lunch.'

She handed him her plate and he sat it on top of his own.

'No problem. Hey what's with the skirt? It's the middle of winter.'

He pulled at the hem of her black knee length and laughed at the white tank top and single knee high, white boot, she had paired with it. Blushing, she pushed his hand away.

'I couldn't get my leg into any pants. Why are you wearing you're uniform?'

'I left for school wearing it; I need to return home wearing it.'

'Why don't you just tell them you were suspended?'

He ran down the entire story for her.

'My god Colin! Why would you risk hitting him? He's not worth it.'

'He deserved it, you should have seen his face, all cocky and sleazy. In that moment it was completely worth it.'

'I get it, but what if you get caught?'

'Then I shave my head and stalk up on combat boots.'

'That's not funny!'

'Paris it is what it is. There's nothing I can do about it now except pray to God that I've got a Guardian Angel watching over me. If not then Boot Camp here I come.'

'You better be careful then McCrea! You're not going anywhere, and if you do I'll personally hunt you down, got it?'

Colin smirked, then hopped up and stood straight and tall, hand to his forehead in salute.

'Sir yes sir!'

Paris began laughing and once again cried out in pain. Colin shook his head and then looked around the room for something to distract her. Spotting a marker over on the desk he picked it up then preceded to lift her leg gently, sit down, and then place her leg in his lap delicately.

'What are you doing?'

'Branding you.'

'Like a cow?'

'No, not like a cow.'

They sat there for half an hour, talking comfortably about everything and anything, while Colin continued drawing on her cast. A flower here a rainbow there, random little designs scattered about. Finally he sat back and clicked the pen closed.

'Finished.'

Paris moved the pillow he had put up in order to keep her from sneaking a peek.

'Nice, very retro. You draw really good, how come you don't do it more often?'

He shrugged and clicked the cap off and on.

'I do, just usually at home.'

'Really? And how come this is the first time I'm hearing of this?'

She eyed him with a suspicious smile causing him to laugh.

'I guess it's something personal, ya know? Like you and Rory have writing, Chris had music; Finn has drinking.'

They both laughed.

'This is just mine, I guess I didn't want to share it.'

She smiled and glanced down at her cast.

'Well thanks for sharing it with me.'

She looked up and he was watching her, they both looked away quickly trying to avoid an awkward moment. Colin gestured to the clock next to the TV.

'We better get going before we're late and have to follow him home for dinner.'

'Yea and we don't want you to miss you're chance to wear a tux and eat snails.'

'Yum.'

He stood up then helped her do the same.

'Wait you're not going?'

'My arm sling doesn't really go with my dress.'

'I'm sure you could take it off for a little while.'

He helped her put her black London fog on and then they made they're way out to Colin's car, her arm over his shoulder taking the weight off of her leg.

'Probably, but my parent's aren't home so I figure I can't really get into trouble for not going, right?'

'Lucky girl.'

He opened the door for her and waited until she was comfortably situated, to shut the door.

Paris looked down at her cast once again as he made his way around the car.

'Yea. Lucky.'

He got in the car and she plastered a smile on her face.

'So where's you're doctors office?'

'On the corner of Rose and Bradley.'

'That's by the bowling ally right?'

'Yea.'

He started the car and then paused while putting it in drive. He glanced at Paris and sat back in his seat.

'What is it?'

'You're seatbelt.'

She blushed once again and became irritated with herself, Paris Geller does not blush. That thought though didn't stop her from stumbling over her next few words.

'Oh. Uh. I can't really. Uh.'

'You can't get it on?'

She shook her head slowly causing him to groan internally. He leaned across her bringing they're faces within inches of each other and pulled the belt quickly across her chest and into the buckle. She let out a small groan.

'What's wrong?'

'It's to tight on my arm.'

'Wow, you're killing me here Geller.'

'Sorry, I know I'm being a big baby.'

'That's not what I meant. I don't have a problem doing thing's for you Paris.'

'Then what are you talking about?'

Colin simply looked at her then away. She got the meaning though because her heart began pounding and her palms began to sweat.

'Uh. Never mind.'

'Paris if it hurts I'll fix it.'

'It's fine.'

He moved back over and slowly picked the belt up and over her head, then brushed her hair aside so as to prevent it from being pulled. His hand grazed her neck however and left them both with tingles shooting throughout they're bodies. Colin froze a few inches from her face, his eyes transfixed on her lips. Her breathing quickened and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, causing a small groan to fall from his, own lips. Suddenly a piercing ring broke through they're thought's and had him jumping back in his seat. His breathing quickened and slowly he pulled the phone from his pocket; Private. Laughing unbelievably to himself he stared out the window at the slowly passing clouds, a sudden heaviness filled his chest and he had a feeling his cousin had in some way, been answering his earlier plea.

'So.'

'Yea.'

'Rose and Bradley right?'

'Yea.'

The drive was quiet and uncomfortable. They had known each other since Preschool and had never been uncomfortable with one another. Colin turned the radio on after a few minutes and quietly hummed along to the lyrics of Evanescence's Sweet Sacrifice.

After another minute or two Paris let out an irritated screech and slammed her hand down on the power button.

'Talk!'

'What's wrong with you?'

'You haven't said a word in six minutes!'

'I was listening to that.'

'Colin, talk to me.'

Shrugging his shoulders, hands still firmly placed on the steering wheel, he glanced at her, irritated.

'What do you wanna talk about?'

'Anything, just stop ignoring me.'  
'I was singing a song, not ignoring you Princess.'

'I'm not one of you're ditzy little girlfriends, don't patronize me.'

'Paris, you said you wanted to talk, not argue; make up you're mind, you can't have it both way's.'

Even if he hadn't meant for there to be, there was a double meaning in his words and that effectively silenced her; they stayed that way until they came to a stop in the doctor's office parking lot. He turned the car off but neither of them moved.

'Why'd you call me?'

She looked at him with wide eyes; she didn't expect him to be asking her that question. Sean she had an answer ready for; Colin on the other hand, she was never able to lie to him.

'What?'

She asked lamely.

'You could have called anyone, why me?'

'Because I thought we were friends. My mistake, sorry.'

'Don't do that, don't try and make me feel bad for asking a simple question.'

'I'm not!'

'Yes you are!'

'Fine! I called you because I wanted to see you, ok? We haven't spent a day, just the two of us since we were in junior high. I guess I missed you.'

Colin laid his head on the steering wheel and moved it back and forth; after a few seconds he laughed.

'Eighth grade, Sam Bakers end of the year party.'

Confused, Paris narrowed her eye's in concentration.

'That's the last time we were ever actually alone together.'

With realization she began laughing.

'Fifteen minutes in Heaven!'

He turned his head to the side and smiled at her.

'Isn't it supposed to be seven minutes in heaven?'

'Yea but Sam thought it would be dirtier with fifteen.'

'How the hell did we end up together again?'

'He put Finn in charge of the couples.'

'Ah. Yes. Good Old Finn.'

'We were in that closet for like five minutes before either of us said anything.'

'And we spent the last ten talking about the crush you had on Chris.'

'I did not have a crush on him!'

'You were pissed because he had been dancing with Anna all night.'

'If anyone was jealous, it was you over Madeline and Robert McNeal.'

They both laughed and smiled at the memory. Colin sat up and laid his head back against the head rest.

'Remember why we decided not to go along with the rules?'

She gave a small nod and looked down at her feet.

'We didn't want to ruin our friendship.'

'We were close huh? We kind of lost that.'

'No we didn't. I think our focus just shifted; You became Mr. Chilton Big Shot.'

'And you have Sean.'

Silence took over once again until finally Paris swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke.

'I love him.'

'I know, he's a good guy.'

'Yea.'

Slightly uncomfortable, he looked at the clock.

'Crap, we're late.'

He jumped out of the car and ran over to her side. She emerged from the car and threw her arm over his shoulders. Slowly they made they're way to the door.

'Well damn Geller, at this pace we're both going to miss the party.'

'Keep dreaming McCrea.'

**Chilton 2:55pm**

Tristan stood by his car waiting for Sean and Finn, the three of them had driven to school together, for some odd reason, that morning. Louise and Madeline came out of the double doors and directly over to him, with worried expressions on they're faces.

'Ladies.'

Madeline smiled cheerfully.

'Hey Tris, have you seen Rory? We were supposed to meet at her locker after class, but she wasn't there.'

Louise looked around the parking lot as he shook his head.

'Her car's gone.'

He pulled out his cell phone and pressed send twice.

'Hello?'

'Ror, where are you?'

'Hey! Oh my God, I'm getting the best massage right now!'

'Massage? Rory you were supposed to meet Maddy and Louise after school, why did you just take off?'

'Oh that's right! I went total space cadet! Are they pissed? Oh my gosh Tristan you should see the guy giving me my massage, I think he was a Greek god in a past life. '

'That's great Ror. So what should I tell them? Are we still meeting at you're house later?'

'For what?'

He narrowed his eyes at her 'are you crazy' tone and shook his head.

'The party tonight. We're all supposed to meet up at you're place, so we can go together.'

'Well duh silly, of course we are!'

'Uh. OK. So'

'Tris Daniel's back, I'll talk to you later. Love ya!'

The line went dead and he stared blankly at the phone.

'Well? What'd she say?'

Louise stood hands on hips, while Madeline chatted with Finn and Sean who had joined them at some point during his conversation.

'She's getting a massage from a Greek God named Daniel.'

He couldn't help he jealousy in his voice. Everyone stared at him, unsure if he was joking or not. Finally realizing he wasn't, Louise huffed.

'She just left? What the hell?'

'I don't know. She was acting kind of weird.'

'Mate, she's always actin weird.'

'No Finn, he's right, she has been acting weirder then usual the last couple of day's.'

Both girls nodded in agreement, then Madeline shook her head and pulled her bag over her shoulder.

'I don't know, but we've got to go get ready. Tristan, talk to her?'

'Yea.'

'Thanks hun. I'll see you boy's tonight. Is Paris coming?'

'Probably not, she was in a lot of pain this morning when I talked to her.'

'OK well tell her we love her even though she's crazy and hope she feels better soon. Bye guys.'

The boy's laughed as they walked off towards Madeline's car.

'So mates, drinks at my house?'

'Finn, we've got to get ready and Tristan's driving.'

'Well how bout we get ready and you poor lads watch me drink?'

'Fine, whatever.'

Tristan was still quiet, worry clouding his eye's.

'Dude stop worrying she's fine, it's just a hard week for her ya know?'

'Yea, I just, I don't think that's all though.'

'Well not much can happen to her at the massage parlor mate, so what do you say we hurry up, that way you can check on her quicker.'

'You just want to get drunk Finn.'

'Well. Yes. But I also care about the lovely Lorelai Jr., very much.'

'Fine let's go.'

Shaking they're heads Sean and Tristan followed an overly eager Finn into the car and out of the parking lot.

**15 minutes later**

'So, tell me Daniel, how old are you exactly?'

'Nineteen.'

'Oh so you're still fresh meat.'

He laughed and moved his hands further down her back.

'Well I guess you could say that. I'm assuming from the uniform you were wearing, you're still in high school.'

'You'd be right, I'm a senior at Chilton.'

The lie fell smoothly from her lips.

'So that means you're seventeen; eighteen?'

'Somewhere around there.'

'All done, Miss. Gilmore.'

Rory swung her legs over the side of the table and came face to face with Daniel, while letting her towel hang loosely around her body. She gave him a flirtatious smile, pulled her hair from its loose knot and ran her fingers through it a few times.

'My names Rory.'

'Pretty name for a pretty girl.'

'Pretty? Am I five?'

'I thought it fit.'

'I don't think it fit's at all, you see pretty describes someone of innocence, purity.'

'And you're not innocent?'

She bit her lip and shook her head.

'Good to know.'

He brushed her hair off of her neck then lowered his mouth to the bare area. Rory smiled and dropped her head back allowing him better access. Lost in the moment she tangled her fingers in his blonde messy hair and with her free hand she trailed her fingers lightly down his back until the hem of his shirt was firmly in her grasp. The towel wrapped around her, was now held up only by his body being pressed against hers. He pulled away and let her pull his shirt over his head, when he saw that her towel had pooled around her waist he smiled lustfully and attacked her skin with his mouth once again. She moved her hands over his sculpted chest, down over his abs and came to a stop at his waistband. In one quick move she had his pants unfastened and pooling to the ground; a few seconds later his briefs fell on top of them. Rory wrapped her legs around him as he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her up off the table and flesh against him. She bit down on his shoulder to muffle her moans, while digging her nails into his back in ecstasy.


	12. Lie like you're life depends on it

**Chapter 11: When all else fails, Lie like you're life depends on it**

**Geller residence 3:15pm**

Colin unlocked the front door while laughing at the irritated look on Paris's face. She glared at him, pushed herself away from the wall and walked by him ignoring his attempt at helping her. He laughed again and swung the keys back and forth while following her inside.

'I'm sorry.'

'Shut up.'

'Paris, come on.'

'I'm fine now; you can leave, thanks for the ride.'

He shut the door and dropped her keys on the table beside the staircase as they made they're way into the family room.

'Why are you so upset with me? I'm not the one who told you take some time off.'

'No but you're the one who laughed when the idiotic doctor suggested it. And you've been laughing since.'

'The look on you're face was priceless!'

'Leave!'

She sat slowly, taking a brief glance at the TV which was still on. Colin stuffed his hand deep into his pocket, then proceeded to pull a white bottle out and shook it at her teasingly.

'I'd be being pretty damn nice to me right now if I were you.'

'Give me the damn pills Colin.'

'Ask nicely.'

'You're an ass.'

'Not exactly what I was thinking, but it'll have to do.'

Opening the bottle he dropped a capsule into his palm and handed it to her.

'What is this again? And why the hell does it have to be pink?'

Colin picked up a bottle of water from the coffee table and handed it to her.

'It's called Dex-tro-pro'

He sounded out the word slowly then giving up he shook his head.

'It's supposed to help so just take it.'

'Nice, so some idiotic, supposed, doctor tells me that this won't kill me and I'm just supposed to take his word for it?'

'Paris.'

'Seriously, how do we even know he's a real doctor?'

'He graduated from Harvard.'

'How do we know that?'

'He showed you his diploma when you so rudely asked him just that.'

'But'

'Take the pill Paris.'

She glared at him and shoved the pill in her mouth and took a drink of water.

'Good girl.'

'Shut up.'

Laughing he set the bottle on the table.

'Take one every six hours as needed.'

She sat forward instantly.

'You're leaving?'

'Well I have that party to get to.'

'Oh. Right.'

Surprised by what he could only define as disappointment, in her voice, his eyebrows rose.

'Unless you want me to stay.'

She sat back and rolled her eyes.

'Spare me.'

'Right, then I've got to get going. Do you need anything before I leave?'

'No, I'm fine. Thanks for everything though.'

Nodding, Colin paused unsure of what to do next, taking a deep breath he leaned over and kissed her quickly on the forehead.

'Be careful, call if you need anything.'

'Ok. Well uh, I guess I'll see you when I see you.'

Already at the door he turned around and smirked.

'What are you talking about? We've got a whole week together.'

He winked and then walked out of the room. Paris stared at the spot he had been previously standing in, for a long time. The sudden shrill of the house phone startled her out of her thoughts.

'Hello?'

'God, Paris! Where the hell have you been?'

'Sean?'

'Yea, I've been calling you for the last half hour; I thought something had happened to you. Where were you?'

She paused, unsure of what to say. She cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder, and then touched the spot on her forehead where Colin had kissed her.

'Paris?'

'Yea. Sorry, I was taking a nap, the new pills the doctor gave me, knocked me out; I guess I just didn't hear the phone.'

'Oh I'm sorry did I wake you?'

'No. My, uh, stomach did. I'm starving.'

'Is there somebody there that can make you something?'

'No, but I can handle it.'

'You sure? I can come over.'

'No it's fine. I'll just order something; you have a party to get to.'

'I could hardly describe it as a party. So they gave you a new pill?'

'Yea, I can't pronounce it, but it's supposed to help.'

'Is you're Mom taking care of you?'

'My parent's left this morning, I told you that, didn't I?'

'No. What do you mean they left?'

'Well apparently there was some business in Grease that needed to be taken care of immediately.'

'So how'd you get to the doctor?'

She paused again. Lie? Or tell the truth? Remembering his jealousy over Tristan the day before, she knew that would be nothing compared to his reaction over her being alone with Colin most of the day.

'My Dad arranged for his driver to take me.'

'Oh well that's good.'

'Yea.'

'Are you ok? You sound kind of sad.'

'Yea I'm fine, just a little sleepy still.'

'OK well I'll let you rest. I'll come by after this thing.'

'OK.'

'I love you.'

'Love you to.'

'Bye.'

She clicked the phone off and stared at it sadly.

**Evergreen Spa**

Rory fastened the last button on her top and stared at herself in the mirror in front of her, a blank expression on her face. She pulled her fingers through her hair and twisted the ends around her fingers thoughtfully. Daniel came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

'So can I get you're number?'

Rory looked at him through the mirror, confused.

'For what?'

His arms fell from her waist and he laughed.

'You really aren't innocent, Miss Gilmore.'

'Why? Because I don't think this is love? Forgive me.'

'OK. Well, I'll see you when I see you.'

'Right.'

Shaking his head he walked out of the room, leaving Rory in silence. With one longer look in the mirror, she opened her purse and swallowed two more pills. She waited a few seconds then exhaled a long breath and walked out of the room.

'Miss Gilmore, how was you're massage?'

Rory smiled at the petite blonde behind the counter.

'It was just what I needed.'

The women smiled and took the credit card Rory held out to her.

'You know Melissa, I forgot to tip'

She trailed off and laughed embarrassedly.

'I'm sorry I'm not remembering his name.'

'Daniel.'

'Right, could you add a hundred for him.'

Smiling the girl wrote a quick note and began typing away on the computer.

'Not a problem. OK all done.'

She handed her back the black card, with a bright smile.

'Is there anything else I could help you with?'

'No that's all for today. I'll see you soon.'

'Always a pleasure Miss Gilmore.'

Rory turned away then paused and turned back to the counter.

'Actually, I could use you're help with one more thing.'

She twirled her long locks around her finger and bit her bottom lip.

**Hayden residence 5:30pm**

Tristan walked through the back door and looked around the silent house.

'Ror?'

He walked into the living room and practically knocked over the housekeeper, Carmen.

'Oh my! Tristan, you scared the living daylights out of me.'

'Carmen, nobody says living daylights anymore.'

'Quiet, boy. Are you looking for Rory?'

Tristan stuffed his hands in his pockets and rolled his eyes.

'Aren't I always?'

'Touché. She's not home yet. Her parent's were hoping she would join them for dinner this evening, but seeing as she is running late, they had to go on without her.'

The older women sighed and sat down, Tristan did the same. Carmen had been the Hayden's housekeeper for as long as he had lived next door; she was like apart of the family and was treated as such.

'Hey Carmen, has Rory been acting different recently?'

'Not that I can tell.'

She tugged nervously at her blouse.

'Really?'

'What's wrong Tristan?'

'She's just been acting strange lately. You know like ditching classes to get a spur of the moment massage.'

'What?'

'I don't know. Maybe it's in my head.'

Carmen remained quiet which unintentionally brought Tristan to alert.

'It is in my head right?'

Sighing, she tapped his knee and stood up.

'It's a difficult time for all of us right now; most of all for Rory. Just give her time.'

'Carmen, is there something I don't know?'

The women inhaled a deep breath and as she opened her mouth the door bell rang. With a sad smile she left the room. A minute later, Louise in a long silk red dress, Madeline in a white ankle length and Finn and Sean in they're tux's entered the room, no Carmen in sight.

'Carmen said she's not here yet.'

'Nope.'

'Oh my god, she's the one that made a big deal about going to this thing and she isn't even here?'

They all sat down, Louise crossing her arms with a huff. Madeline rolled her eye's and sat on the other side of Tristan.

'She's been complaining since you told her Rory ditched us.'

'I'm just irritated.'

'I know you are, but just try and give her a break ok?'

Louise glared at Tristan for a second then sighed and gave a short nod. The room became silent, and Finn shifted uncomfortably.

'Do you realize this is the first time we've ever been in this house without at least one Hayden in it?'

'Uh that's not true, I've been here while they were gone numerous times.'

'Yes mate but I'm not talking about you, I mean those of us who aren't in love with the lovely Lorelai jr.'

Everyone but Tristan laughed.

'I'm not in love with her Finn.'

Louise clucked her tongue sympathetically.

'Oh honey you so are. She's the Dawson to you're Joey.'

'What?'

'What she means Tris, is that you and Rory have that boy/girl next door thing going on. You're in denial about you're inevitable feeling's for you're best friend, while she just remains completely oblivious; i.e. She's the Dawson to you're Joey.'

'Thanks Maddy that makes me feel better.'

'Dude don't get defensive, it's not a bad thing.'

'You're agreeing with this nonsense?'

'Well, you two have known each other forever, know everything there is to know about each other and you already act like an old married couple. It's meant to be, as corny as that sounds.'

'Wait a minute I've seen the last show, Lorelai and Rory made Colin and I watch it. Doesn't that chick end up with the dude's friend?'

Madeline and Louise looked to each other defeatedly, knowing thewy were stuck. But before anyone was able to make another argument, Colin jogged into the room.

'Sorry I'm late.'

'You Hayden's have no concept of time what so ever.'

Colin looked to Sean confused and tilted his head in Louise's direction.

'What's wrong with her?'

'Rory. She's not here, and she ditched them at school today.'

'What?'

'Apparently getting a massage and flirting with Greek Gods was more important then her friends.'

He looked around the room confused and pulled his ringing cell phone from his pocket.

'That's her. Hello?'

'We're going to be late! I'm waiting outside in the car.'

The line clicked.

'She's waiting for us in the limo.'

'Oh well how nice of her.'

'Louise. You promised.'

'Fine.'

They all stood and one by one walked out the front door. Outside sat a pearl colored twenty two passenger Cadillac Escalade. The driver opened the door allowing them entrance; Madeline entered first followed by Louise and Sean. The three sat silently staring at the girl in front of them. Finn stepped inside automatically opening the compartment which held the liquor. Seeing the looks on the other three's face's Colin and Tristan looked at each other then Tristan stepped inside. He looked over at Rory, tripped over Finns legs and fell into his seat.

'Holy crap Mare.'

She bit her lip trying to suppress a smile, then seeing her cousin enter the car she instantly held her breath, bracing herself for the worst.

Colin paused while taking the seat beside her, he stared at her for a second then with a nod sat down.

'You look nice.'

She smiled and exhaled happily. Patting the now short dark Red curls, she bit her lip nervously.

'Really? It's not to much? I know it's drastic but I just felt like I needed to change things up ya know?'

'Yea Ror, you look beautiful.'

Without another word he scooted toward Finn and took the glass from his friend's hand. Rory smiled unfazed and looked at everyone else.

'Well?'

With simultaneous nods, they all replied the same. She looked great. Tristan's worry clouded his eyes. She did look beautiful, it was impossible for her not to in her black floor length, modestly cut halter dress, but he didn't know what to say or do; he didn't know what to think. He looked over at Colin who sat quietly with his drink, the same worry in his own eyes; the only difference was that he obviously knew what was happening to his cousin.


	13. Drowning in the sharks den

Chapter 12: Drowning in the sharks den

Colin entered the ball room filled with Hartford's finest and instantly scanned the crowd for his aunt. He spotted her standing in a corner with his mother; walking as fast as he could without drawing attention to himself he made a beeline for the two women. Susan spotted her son and smiled brightly.

'Colin dear, there you are.'

He kissed both women on they're cheek, and then guided them a bit further from the crowd.

'We need to talk.'

'What is it?'

He looked from his mother to Lorelai.

'It's Rory.'

'What's wrong?'

'I just want to warn you before you see her, she's cut her hair.'

'Ok? I'm not seeing the problem here kiddo.'

'Oh you will.'

Lorelai and Susan looked in the direction he was pointing and saw the rest of the group enter. Lorelai inhaled sharply upon seeing her daughter.

'Oh god.'

'Yea.'

'Colin, go be with you're friend's. I need to speak with you're aunt.'

'Yes mother.'

He smiled half heartedly to Lorelai who touched his hand briefly, then walked back over to his group. Susan stepped beside Lorelai and touched her arm.

'I'm sure she's fine Lore.'

'Look at her, does she look fine?'

'She looks gorgeous.'

'She looks lost.'

Shaking her head Lorelai turned away from the kids on the other side of the room, and searched for something to distract her.

'Do you think she's in trouble again?'

'I don't know.'

She laughed bitterly.

'What kind of mother am I? I don't even know what's going on with my own kid. She called me from school the other day in tears, telling me how much she misses Chris and all I could do was sit there and tell her that I know what she's going through.'

'Well honey you do.'

'I know how it feels to lose my child, not my best friend. Chris was the other half of her. I don't know what to do Susan.'

'There's nothing you can do right now, just pray to god that she's not taking pills again.'

Lorelai glanced over her shoulder and saw Rory and Tristan walking over.

'Here she comes.'

Rory smiled at her mother and lifted her shoulders excitedly. Tristan kissed they're cheeks in the same manner Colin had.

'Mrs. McCrea; Lorelai.'

'Tristan dear I've asked you a million times to call me Susan.'

'Forgive me, Susan.'

He kissed her hand and smiled charmingly, causing all three women to laugh. Rory swatted his hand away from her aunt.

'Stop flirting with my Aunt, I'll tell Colin.'

'Oh Ror don't be jealous, there's enough of me to go around.'

'That ego of yours never ceases to amaze me Tristan.'

He smiled cheekily at Lorelai and Rory rolled her eyes.

'Can we please focus on me for just a second?'

When all eyes were on her she twirled with her hands facing upward.

'Shock factor?'

Lorelai smiled and nodded.

'Definitely in the triple digits.'

Rory's face fell and she laughed bitterly.

'You hate it.'

'I didn't say that.'

'You didn't say other wise either.'

'Rory honey you look gorgeous. I'm sure you're mother's still in shock; Right Lorelai?'

'Like I said kiddo, triple digits.'

Rory smiled again now with uncertainty.

'So you like it?'

She played with a curl and bit her lip.

'I love it.'

'Yea?'

'Yea.'

She bounced and turned to Tristan.

'Told ya she wasn't gonna flip out.'

'Excuse me? I do not flip out. Un-cool mother's flip out, I am the epitome of cool.'

'Tristan where are you're parent's? I haven't seen you're mother tonight.'

'Oh I'm sure they're around here somewhere. Now if you ladies don't mind, I'm going to steal Rory for a dance.'

'Take her, she's yours.'

'Dance with me Ror.'

'No.'

Even through her protests she handed her bag to her aunt and took his hand.

Lorelai and Susan watched as they made they're way to the dance floor.

'He's a sweet boy.'

'Yea he is.'

'Lore she's here where she's safe, there's no use worrying about it tonight.'

She watched as they danced slowly and smiled happily, then with a nod she linked her arm with Susan's.

'I need another drink.'

'OK then.'

'So I was thinking'

'Oh, did it hurt?'

'Funny.'

'Thank you.'

'As I was saying, I was thinking that after this thing, we could all go back to my house and have a movie night. My parent's are heading to the airport from here, so we've got the house to ourselves.'

'Yea, sounds good.'

He stared at a curl of hair then picked it up and played with it. Rory looked at his arm then his face nervously.

'What possessed you to do this?'

'You make it sound like I'm Rosemary's baby or something.'

'You've just been really random lately.'

He dropped the piece of hair and returned his hand to the small of her back. She tilted her head back and laughed.

'Random?'

'Yea like ditching you're friends for a massage; Chopping off you're hair.'

'Well in my defense it was a pretty good massage.'

'Louise is pissed at you.'

'I got that vibe.'

'She'll get over it.'

'I know.'

Taken aback by her nonchalant response, Tristan narrowed his eyes at her. She had a sort of dazed look to her eyes, passed the smile and the laughter there was emptiness there.

'What's going in that head Lorelai Hayden?'

Now taken aback her self, Rory locked eye's with him.

'What?'

'What are you thinking about?'

'Honestly? Cooper.'

Her words, which unbeknownst to him were a lie, caused his body to tense.

'Oh.'

'It's just that I haven't really had the chance to be sad ya know?'

'Are you? Sad, I mean.'

'Kind of; Do you know how pissed he'd be right now if he saw us dancing?'

She laughed and looked around the room. Sitting at the table her Mother and Aunt had been at previously, now sat her parent's, aunt, uncle and Grandparents. At the table beside theirs sat Tristan's parents and Grandparents. All of their eyes seemed to be on them, this caused her to laugh yet again.

'We have an audience.'

Tristan looked over and laughed.

'Can you blame them? We're absolutely breath taking.'

'I'd be surprised if they weren't over there planning our wedding right now.'

'You're kidding me right? I'd be surprised if it hasn't been planned since the fifth grade.'

'God could you imagine?'

'Well damn Ror.'

For once Tristan found him self unable to hide the hurt in his voice. The look of pure absurdity on her face shot straight to his heart.

'What?'

'Nothing.'

'You look like I just shot you're puppy.'

She laughed and Tristan put a smile on his face.

'Forget it. So when do we get to leave?'

'We just got here!'

'What's this thing for anyway?'

'I don't know some charity.'

'Whatever.'

'Let's go say Hello to your parents.'

'Now why would we do something like that?'

'Because they love me.'

She took his hand in hers and guided him from the dance floor and back to they're family's tables. Charlotte DuGrey smiled charmingly as they approached.

'You kid's looked like you were having a nice time.'

'Hello mother.'

Tristan leaned over and kissed his mother, grandmother and Rory's grandmother's cheeks. Rory sat between Richard and Straub and pat the two men on their knees.

'What are the two of you old men plotting?'

'World domination.'

'Well if anybody could take over the world it's surely the original Pinky and Brain.'

'Excuse me?'

Christopher turned and shook his head.

'Don't ask Richard, she'll only give you a migraine.'

'Hello Dad, I didn't see you there.'

'I'm sure.'

Rory rolled her eyes and turned to Tristan's grandpa.

'Grandpa DuGrey, how are you feeling tonight?'

'My age dear. I believe I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm a very old man.'

Janlan DuGrey had recently suffered from a massive heart attack; but nothing short of death seemed to be able to stop the man from keeping up appearances. Rory had taken the news almost as hard as Tristan had, when they were told that he was in the hospital.

'No way! You don't look a day over twenty five! If I wasn't so afraid of that gorgeous women by you're side, I'd snatch you away from her.'

The couple laughed.

'Take him dear, you'll get no complaints from me.'

'You look beautiful tonight Gran.'

'Well thank you Rory. I like what you've done with you're hair, it suits you.'

'Thank you.'

Christopher turned back to his daughter and apparently took in her appearance for the first time. Lorelai tensed and touched her sister in laws hand in search of support. Rory and Chris stared at each other challengingly.

'Rory may I speak to you privately for a moment?'

He stood without waiting for a response and walked into the hallway knowing she would follow.

'Excuse me gentlemen.'

She smiled sweetly to the three men she called Grandpa, stood, and went off in the direction her father had. She found him standing beside a table checking his hand held.

'You wanted to speak to me?'

Chris put his phone in his pocket and stuffed his hands deep into them as well.

'What's going on Rory?'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Are you crying out for attention?'

'Wow.'

'Well then what could it be? Are you taking pills again?'

He stepped closer to her and lowered his voice to a whisper.

'Because if that's what it is, I've already told you what would happen.'

'I'm not.'

'Rory so help me god if I find out you are you'll be on the next flight to California. And not for a quick little vacation so you can get a tan, you'll do the full term of the program this time.'

'I don't need rehab Dad, I'm fine. I just wanted to change my hair, it's not a crime.'

Chris searched her eyes then pulled his phone back out.

'You're mother and I are leaving to the airport from here, find us before you leave.'

'Yes Dad.'

Without another word he walked off in the direction of the bar. Rory sighed, then regaining her composure she walked back to the table and picked up her purse. Lorelai caught her arm before she walked away again.

'Are you ok?'

'I need to use the bathroom.'

The older Lorelai held her there for a second longer then let her go. Rory searched her mother's worried eyes then walked away, leaving a very worried group of people behind.

A soft chime rang out through the speaker on her cell phone, alerting her that she had just received a text message. Paris picked up the black phone happy to have something to do.

Colin: How are u feeling?

:Better, that pill has magical powers

Colin: Haha nice What r u doing?

She looked around her bedroom and exhaled a long breath.

:Dying of boredom. U?

Colin smiled upon feeling his phone vibrate in his hand. He laughed and clicked respond.

:Same at least you got a get out of jail free card

Geller: How is hell going?

:How do you think?

Geller: Right sorry

He was just about to respond when Louise slid into the seat beside him.

'Who are you ignoring us for McCrea?'

He jumped slightly and put his phone in his pocket. Smiling he turned to her and shook his head.

'Nobody.'

'Right. How is she feeling?'

'Who?'

His surprised tone received an eye roll as she mocked him.

'Who? Rory dork.'

'Oh uh, she's alright I guess. Why do you ask?'

'Well maybe because she went all Britney and chopped her hair off?'

'Right, I don't know; maybe it's because it's coming in on two years since the accident; and she's missing Chris more then usual.'

He shrugged sadly and Louise bumped his shoulder with hers.

'You ok?'

'Yea I'll be alright.'

Smiling she grabbed his hand and stood up.

'Come dance with me.'

'What? Lou you know I don't dance.'

'Yea yea I know, but I haven't received an offer since we got here and I look to damn good to sit around all night.'

She put one hand on her hip while the other still held his and she pouted pleadingly.

Colin laughed and nodded in defeat, she bounced from foot to foot excitedly.

'Just give me one second.'

'Colin!'

The pout returned to her face.

'Don't whine, you're mother's looking.'

In an instant she was standing straight with a charming smile in place; the picture of a perfectly brought up young lady. Colin smiled and covered his mouth to hide his laughter.

'To late, she's heading this way. Be nice, I'll steal you back as soon as I see that thing's are turning unpleasant I promise.'

'Don't leave me alone with that woman.'

'Sorry Lou, every man for himself.'

He gave a nod of acknowledgment to the older women and kissed the back of her hand in a charming gesture. Then with an apologetic smile, he managed to get away to say hello to his grandparent's. He moved quickly thorough the ballroom and toward his families table while pulling out his cell.

:Sorry Lou popped up out of nowhere wondering who I was talking to

Geller: What did you tell her?

:The truth of course

Geller: ooooh

:Jk Paris, I masterfully avoided the question and instead got roped into dancing with her haha lol

Geller: Oh that's nice … well enjoy urself .. be safe

He paused mid-stride and narrowed his eyes at his hand held.

:Be safe?

Geller: yea you know … wear a condom and what not

Not believing what he was reading he laughed out loud, not caring who could hear him.

:Are you serious P?

Geller: What?'

:It's just a dance

Geller: I'm just saying

:What?

Geller: u n Louise have history is all. It wouldn't be the first time

:Wow … ya knw if I didn't knw any better Id think u were jealous

Geller: Me? Jealous? Of what?

:Idk that's what im wondering

Geller: Don't flatter urself McCrea, in case uve forgotten ive got a boyfriend

:HaHaHa well it was nice tlkin to u Paris, but I guess ill tlk 2 u later

Geller: I wasn't trying to start a fight, im just saying…..

:Right, well thanks Ive got to go though ttyl

Geller: Bye :-\

He ended the text session and locked his phone. Then shaking his head he turned back just in time to see Louise huff and roll her eyes at her mother. He laughed to himself and started back to the two women.

'Mother please, someone is going to hear you.'

'Well I'd rather they hear me, then have to see the spectacle you are constantly making of yourself. Really Louise must you always act like a child?'

The tears that sprang to the young girls eyes caused Colin to pick up his speed and come to an abrupt stop beside her. Helen Grant smiled brightly at him.

'Mr. McCrea, back so soon?'

'Well I was half way across the room when I realized I hadn't had the pleasure of dancing with this lovely young lady, tonight. Would you mind if I stole her away from you?'

'I wouldn't mind at all.'

Louise took Colin's offered hand, but paused as her mother caught her free arm.

'Try to at least pretend like you have some respect for yourself.'

With a charming smile she let her daughter go and walked off to find her husband. When the two teens reached the dance floor, Colin pulled her close and placed his hand on the small of her back and they began to move to the slow beat of the music.

'Are you ok?'

She didn't speak; instead she smiled and gave a small nod.

'Lou you know you can talk to me.'

'I know. Just not here, later I promise.'

He nodded in response and then looked around to make sure nobody was watching. He bent his knees so as to lower himself to her height and locked eyes with her, when she didn't smile he crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. She bubbled with laughter, then smiled prettily as he returned to his normal height.

'Better?'

'Thank you.'

'Anytime beautiful.'

He twirled her around which caused her smile to widen and another giggle to escape her lips.

Rory walked out of the bathroom stall and whipped beneath her eyes. She came to a stop in front of the mirror and placed her purse on the sink in front of her. There was a moment when everything seemed to freeze and all she did was stare at the mess of a girl in the mirror, and she found herself feeling sorry for that girl. Then in an instant, the sorrow was gone and in its place was an unbelievable amount anger and loathing of the person staring back at her. She opened her bag and picked up the small bottle that had Paris's name printed on the label; with no hesitation she swallowed three pills and placed the bottle back into her bag. Her body had grown immune to one or even two, or at least that's what she continued to tell herself. She needed more for that feeling to be completely numbed; for the girl in the mirror to stop crying in bathroom stalls and whining to her best friend about some stupid boy who wasn't worth the ground she walked on. After a quick touch up of her make-up, she scrunched her hair in order to give it more volume and turned from left to right to check for any wrinkles in her dress. Satisfied with her appearance she smiled, then picked up her purse and walked out of the bathroom and back into the sea of sharks, also known as Hartford's finest.


	14. When tomorrow isn't promised

Chapter 13: When tomorrow isn't promised

The front door opened and two giggling teenage girls fell over the threshold, holding onto one another in order to keep they're balance. After them entered two more slightly less drunk teens and lastly with an eye roll two completely sober. Sean had decided, much to Colin's displeasure, to opt out of returning to Rory's but instead be dropped at Paris's where he would more then likely sleep that night. After a few to many glasses of champagne at the country club and multiple glasses of hard liquor in the limo, Rory and Louise were just barely holding themselves upright. Finn and Madeline weren't as drunk as the other two but they were far past tipsy. Tristan and Colin however, had declined the drinks offered to them on the ride home, which surprised not only they're friends but themselves as well.

Colin shut the door and for what seemed like the millionth time that night he rolled his eyes. Louise and Rory had fallen onto the stairs and were laughing drunkenly at nothing in particular.

'Could you two please lower you're voices. If Carmen hears you we're all dead.'

Rory shook her head and held a finger in the air.

'Nope, she's got the night off.'

She burst into another fit of giggles which acted as a chain reaction and spread to Louise then Madeline and lastly Finn. Tristan laughed to himself, and turned to Colin.

'They're all wasted.'

'What threw you off?'

His snapping come back caused Tristan to pull his head back in surprise and smirk.

'Hey man, don't get all pissy with me because you're girls off getting some from her boyfriend right now.'

'DUDE!'

'What?'

He gestured to the group sitting on the stairs.

'Do you honestly think any one of them is going to remember they're own names in the morning? Let alone the fact that you're hot for Paris?'

Colin stared at them thoughtfully as Madeline began dragging her finger down Finn's face then proceeded to tap him lightly on the nose. Shrugging he walked off toward the kitchen.

'Whatever, just get them in the living room and I'll put on some coffee.'

'Why the hell do I get the hard job?'

'Look at this way, you get to touch Rory.'

Tristan looked from Rory to Colin fearfully.

'DUDE!'

Colin turned back with a smirk.

'Like you said, they won't remember right?'

Before he was given a chance to react, Colin cut him off with a nod at his cousin.

'Hey red!'

She turned to him with a huge smile plastered on her face. He threw his head in Tristan's direction.

'Tristan's got a hard on for you.'

The blonde boy's eyes grew as Colin disappeared around a corner and Rory turned to him with confused eyes.

'What did he say?'

Sighing with relief he walked over and helped her to her feet.

'He said that he's going to put a pot on for you.'

She moved her head up and down in big gestures.

'Ooooooh. I gotcha I gotcha. Whoa where we going cutie?'

He laughed yet again; she always called him that when she was drunk; it was one of the many things he loved about her.

'We are going into the family room so you all can lie down and sober up. Come on guy's.'

Rory pulled away and slouched with a pout.

'Cutie, I don't wanna walk.'

'Really now? Well then what would you suggest?'

Biting her bottom lip she looked up at him from beneath her long lashes.

'Right, come on.'

Turning around he bent his knees and allowed her to jump up and wrap her arms around his neck. He placed his hands beneath her thighs which due to her dress riding up, were completely bare. Tristan swallowed the lump in his throat and bounced her higher up onto his back; the movement however got a reaction from her that he wasn't expecting, a small moan escaped her lips causing a whimper to fall from his own. After a short pause he proceeded down the hallway, three chattering teens behind him. A few seconds later Rory dropped her head on his shoulder, her hair falling against his cheek. She spoke softly, only loud enough for the two of them to hear.

'I love you Tristan.'

It took him a moment to push through his surprise and then another to convince himself that she thought of him as no more then a friend. With a small sigh, he looked over at her and they're faces came within centimeters of each other. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and blinked. That moment, when her lashes touched her cheeks, he knew that what he felt for her was more then just a crush or lust; she was absolutely beautiful and he was in love with her. His voice was husky when he spoke, just barely a whisper.

'I love you to.'

They're eyes locked and time stopped, he didn't know what she was feeling, but every part of him was screaming at him to kiss her. In an in voluntary movement, his face inched closer to hers and just as he was about to close the gap between them, Louise came running past them and into the bathroom a few feet away. Rory pulled away and looked behind her, Finn and Madeline were gone, apparently having went into the family room where the television was on and something loud was playing. She cleared her throat nervously and understanding what that meant, Tristan let her legs go, and her bare feet softly hit the ground. They stood a few feet from each other silent and uncomfortable. Trying desperately to find something to distract her, Rory looked around the hallway and her eyes landed on the bathroom door. With a small smile she gestured to the door.

'I better go check on her.'

'Yea.'

She nodded and walked away stumbling slightly as she came to a stop and knocked on the door.

'Louise, it's me. Open up.'

The lock clicked and Tristan watched as Rory disappeared into the bathroom. With a long sigh he dragged his hands over his face and laughed unbelievingly. While shaking his head he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked back in the direction they had come from. Just as his hand hit the door knob, Colin suddenly appeared.

'Where you going?'

Tristan simply shook his head and left without a word, letting the door click silently closed behind him. Eyebrows raised in confusion Colin joined the others in the family room. Thirty minutes later Rory entered the room holding Louise's hand and carrying a pair of pajamas for Madeline. She handed the colorfully striped bottoms and yellow tank top to Madeline then sat carefully down beside Colin and laid her head on his shoulder. Louise fell into the spot on the pull out mattress that Finn was currently passed out on. She pulled the blanket up to her neck and punched her pillow a few times in an attempt to make it fluffier. After a slightly slurred 'good night' her eyes closed and she fell into a deep sleep. Rory looked around the room after a few minutes and raised her head from her cousins shoulder.

'Where'd Tris go?'

'I don't know. He left like half an hour ago. I asked him where he was going, but he just walked out.'

With a small sigh she laid her head back down; Colin looked to her worriedly.

'Are you ok? How are you feeling?'

'Better, a little queasy still but it'll pass.'

'No I mean, how are you doing?'

Rory sighed heavily, understanding exactly what he was implying; she sat up and moved as far away from him as she could get.

'I'm fine Colin.'

'Are you sure? Because if you need to talk I'm here. '

'Really, I'm doing great.'

Suddenly she felt as if she couldn't breathe, the voice from earlier in the week was suddenly back, screaming 'LIER' at the top of it's lungs. The thing that frightened her though wasn't the fact that she was hearing this voice, because she had long ago become accustomed to that, it was the fact that the voice she was hearing was no longer a replica of her own, but still a voice she new all to well. Chris's voice was clear as day in her head, screaming the same word over and over 'LIER LIER LIER'. She jumped to her feet in an attempt to get away from his taunting chant, but it followed her step for step 'LIER LIER LIER'.

'If there's anything at all you'

'GOD LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T NEED YOU'RE HELP!'

Colin flinched back in complete shock then glanced at a still sleeping Louise and Finn. Seeing the look on his face, Rory's hand flew up to cradle her forehead. She let out a long sigh and took a step toward him.

'Look I'm sorry ok? It's just I'm getting a little irritated with the constant worrying. I can't handle being treated like some glass doll. I love you for wanting to but I don't need you to take care of me Colin.'

They sat in silence for a minute, Rory waiting for him to respond and Colin trying to choose his words carefully.

'I don't agree.'

'What?'

'Ror, something's going on with you, we're not blind. If Chris were here'

'Don't go there Colin.'

She turned away from him as the tears began to sting her eyes; the mere mention of his name still made her chest cold and her heart began to make a heavy thudding feeling in her chest, as if a heavy rock were being tossed around in there.

Colin sighed loudly and stood up.

'If he were here, he would know exactly how to take care of you and I'm doing the best I can but '

She spun back around, tears streaming down her cheeks, fury burning in her eyes.

'But he's not here; is he? And you can't change that, so if you want to help me then just butt the hell out of my life!'

There was a moment of silence, each looking heart brokenly at the other. Rory's tears fell faster now as Louise and Finn both sat up completely confused. Colin looked over at them, just as Finn fell back against his pillow, and locked eyes with a worried Louise. Rory apparently hadn't noticed that her friends had woken or that Madeline had re-entered the room and was standing awkwardly in the doorway. She took another step toward Colin who looked at her with guarded eyes.

'You're not Chris, you never will be; so stop trying.'

A gasp came from both Louise and Madeline's directions, Rory looked around the room, and took in the glares directed at her from two of her closest friends; and then she looked back to Colin who was staring intently at a spot on the floor. The voice in her head grew silent and a lump began to form in her throat; that can't breathe feeling washed over her once again. She shook her head and let out a gasping sob.

'I'm sorry.'

Colin glanced up at her and saw the anguish on her face, without a second thought he pulled her into his arms wrapping him self tightly around her. Her body became too heavy for her to be able to hold herself up so she slid to the ground, pulling Colin down with her. He held her there in his lap, rocking her back and forth as her sobs racked over her entire body and her struggle for breath became increasingly harder. He looked over at Madeline who had tears running down her cheeks and mouthed for her to call Tristan. Not needing to be told twice she spun on her heels and ran off down the hall. Louise rose from the bed silently and sat down beside Colin, putting her face in his shoulder, in an attempt to keep Rory from seeing her own tears, and her arm around her sobbing friend. Colin turned his head to the side and kissed her hair softly in a loving gesture. Madeline came back into the room carrying Rory's house phone and shook her head; Tristan hadn't answered.

After twenty minutes her tears began to fade and the room grew eerily silent. Rory lifted her head slowly from his chest and pulled as far away from Colin as she could manage; her entire body felt numb as if it no longer existed.

'Colin I don't'

Her voice came out in a whisper and her head began to fall forward.

'Rory? Ror what's wrong?'

The panic in his voice showed that he knew exactly what was wrong.

'I can't keep'

'Madeline, call 911!'

Panic stricken Madeline was already dialing. Louise quickly moved behind Rory, who's body began to fall backward.

'Wake him up!'

She jumped up, ran over to Finn and began shaking him. Colin kept shaking Rory to keep her from passing out.

'Princess, come on you gotta stay awake. What did you take Rory?'

'Uh-uh.'

Finn, now at full alert slid to the floor and held Rory's head straight, to keep her air passage clear.

'Love, come on wake up. What the hell happened?'

'She's on something and I think the mixture of that and the alcohol is to much.'

'What do you mean she's on something? What is she on?'

'She took a few aspirin.'

Louise's shaky voice broke through the panic. Colin's head automatically jerked in her direction.

'When?'

'Just before we came in here. They're still in her purse I don't know how many she took though.'

'What did she take em with Louise?'

She shook her head fearing that this was in some way her fault.

'I don't know, water? It was clear; It could have been something else.'

He turned back to Rory with tear filled eyes. Although he knew exactly what she had done, before Louise had said anything, the confirmation of it some how made what was happening to real for him to handle.

'Ror, Princess come on, helps coming. Stay awake! I can't do this again Rory, you can't leave me; please.'

He had began to cry as did Louise and Maddy. Finn continued to do everything he could to keep her from passing out.

'Colin, I'm so sorry.'

'For what Princess?'

She moaned and turned her face away from him.

'He keeps screaming at me. Make him stop.'

The boy's looked at each other, fearfully.

'Who's screaming at you Love?'

'Chris.'

Colin sat back in shock and the doorbell rang. Madeline took off down the hall once again. A second later, which seemed like an hour to Colin – who time seemed to have stopped for, Madeline, two paramedics, three fire men and two cops, entered the room; everyone moved out of the way, giving the men room to work. A minute later, Tristan came running into the room, eyes wide and out of breath.

'What happened?'

Nobody answered, because there was no need to, one of the paramedics stood up to get something from his box, which gave Tristan a clear view of an unconscious Rory. With wide confused, terrified eyes he looked back to the group standing a few feet away. Louise had her face buried in Colin's chest, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as he stared blankly at the scene in front of him. There were tear tracks drying on his face and his eyes were blood shot and puffy. Madeline sat on the bed with Finn, her face in her hands, her eyes peeking out just above her finger tips and tears falling freely. Finn looked almost as frightened as Colin did; almost.

He let his gaze fall back on the frightening scene before him and felt his world begin to crumble as they began CPR.

'One. Two. Three!'

The larger of the two paramedics leaned over and inflated Rory's chest.

'One. Two. Three!'

Tristan slid to the floor, bracing himself on the wall. There was no way he could trust his legs to keep him standing. His brain had already forgotten to let him breathe.

'One. Two. Three!'

Although she remained unconscious, this time when his mouth touched hers, she inhaled a sharp gasping breath.

'Alright we got her back.'

The fire man, who was prepared for this, immediately placed an oxygen mask over her face. While another pulled the stretcher over and the other helped the paramedics place her limp body on it and strap her in. A cop walked over to Colin.

'We're going to take her to Hartford memorial, you can meet us there.'

'I want to go with her.'

'I'm sorry son but only an immediate family member is aloud in the ambulance.'

'I'm her cousin, her parent's are out of town and her brother passed away; I'm all she has.'

'OK. Follow me.'

Louise detached herself from him and moved to Finns side. Colin walked in a trans down the hall and into the ambulance. Once inside, he moved to Rory's side picked up her hand and held it to his mouth as the tears once again began to fall. One of the men sat beside him a clip board in hand.

'Can I have her name.'

He sniffled and cleared his throat.

'Lorelai Hayden.'

The paramedic who Colin now realized was named Jackson, as was stitched into the pocket of his uniform shirt, scribbled her name across the paper. Without so much as glancing at Colin he shot out his next question.

'Age?'

'Sixteen.'

'Birthday?'

'Five Twenty-one, ninety-two.'

'Do you know her height and weight?'

'Uh – like five six; One-ten – one-fifteen.'

'And how much has she had to drink tonight?'

'I don't know. She had a few glasses of champagne earlier tonight, and a few drinks in the limo on the way home.'

A lump began to form in his throat, causing him to pause and look down at his unconscious cousin, unsure of whether or not he should finish his sentence. Suddenly a bright light began to flash throughout the cab of the ambulance and a heart-stopping alarm began to blare from over head. Clearing his throat once again, he turned away from Rory and spoke with a raspy voice.

'Our friend said she took some aspirin about an hour ago.'

'How many?'

'It wasn't aspirin. My cousin has a problem with pain medication.'

Jackson glanced at Rory then gave a small nod, his voice took on a more sympathetic tone.

'What did she take?'

'Vicodin. Most likely with vodka, she wasn't really sure.'

'And she didn't see how many she took?'

'She just said 'a few'.'

'OK. So I have to write down here that you said Lorelai has a drug addiction problem, is that correct?'

He paused again and listened to the raspy breathing coming from beneath the oxygen mask she was wearing.

'Yes.'

'And what's you're name?'

'Colin McCrea. I'm her cousin.'

'Ok, and do you have the number where we can reach her parent's?'

'Actually they're out of town, the emergency contact number is to my parent's.'

'Are they are her legal guardians?'

'No sir; but they do have my aunt and uncles legal consent to approve or disapprove of any treatment in a case of emergency.'

'OK, then you're parent's number please.'

Colin repeated the number without a second thought then inhaled a sharp breath.

'Can I ask you a question?'

'Go ahead.'

'Is she going to be – I mean she's gonna live right?'

Jackson inhaled and exhaled a long breath.

'I'm not authorized to make that diagnoses. I'm sorry.'

Colin nodded sadly and pulled Rory's hand closer to his chest.

'But what I can tell you is that, you're cousin will have some of the finest doctors in the country working on her; doing everything can.'

'Thank you.'

Next thing he knew the van was jerking to a stop, the doors were flying open and what seemed like a hundred nurses and doctors, were pulling Rory out on the stretcher and flocking around her – effectively hiding her from view.


	15. Warning: Hurricane headed for Hartford

Chapter 14: Red flag warning: Hurricane headed for Hartford

The intimidating double doors flew open once again and had the room filled with worried family members and sick patients, all looking up in unison. A nurse in her late twenty's called out a name and once again in complete sync everyone sighed. The far left corner of the room was taken up by seven frightened, puffy eyed teenagers who had arrived about twenty minutes earlier but had yet to hear anything regarding they're friend's condition. Being that Colin was still under age, they were refusing to give any information until a parent or guardian arrived. He had called his parent's four time's before getting an answer, and they were on they're way. His mother had promised to call Chris the instant she hung up with him but he knew how difficult it was going to be to get a hold of them while on the plane; there would be no contact until the plane touched down and he feared that by then it might be to late. He ran his hands over his face and saw Rory's face there, the large paramedic pumping her chest in an attempt to revive her. Jerking away from his hands, he opened his eyes wide, gaining the attention of the people around him, everyone except Tristan anyway; in a nervous compulsion, his left leg began to bounce up and down.

Tristan, Finn, Louise and Madeline had arrived just a minute after the ambulance had; Tristan had been the first one inside, asking him how she was doing and if she had woken up. Since the moment Colin told him that she was still unconscious, he had been sitting in the same chair in the corner, staring off into space as if he were trying his hardest to figure out a difficult problem. Madeline had called Paris, who showed up with Sean not even ten minutes later. Maddy and Paris sat silently across from Tristan, Paris had her good arm around the other girl's shoulders and Madeline had her head leaning against Paris's. Every so often Paris would clear her throat and sniffle, alerting everyone in the room that she was crying. Sean and Finn stood a few feet away from him, whispering to each other quiet enough that every now and then one of them would have to lean forward to hear the other. Like Tristan and himself, Louise sat alone, completely silent and staring at her twisting hands that laid in her lap.

The emergency doors slid open with a loud whooshing sound and a burst of cold air filled the room. Colin's heart jumped into his throat when his parent's came jogging into view. His eyes began to burn and without realizing it he sprang to his feet and met them half way across the room, hurling himself into his mother's arms. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and held him as his sobs painfully increased. A choking sob came from Paris and Madeline's direction, followed by the distinct sound of a girl sobbing. Not ready to pull away from the mother he usually claimed to not need, he ignored Paris's sobs, knowing that Sean would take care of her. His mother pulled away from him, just enough to take hold of his face and lock her red tear filled eyes with his.

'Honey what happened?'

He cleared his throat and wiped the blurriness from his eyes.

'We uh, argued and then she started crying, then when everything calmed down I thought she was just falling asleep but-'

His voice broke again and his mother dropped her hands to his side fully expecting his next words.

'She's taking pain meds again.'

Her eye's darkened and he felt a sudden burning on the back of his neck.

'Since when?'

'I don't know.'

'OK. OK, first things first we need to make sure she's ok.'

'They won't give me any information. We had to wait for you guy's.'

His eyes shifted between his mother and Father who stood at the check in, asking to speak with a nurse or doctor regarding his nieces condition, and ready to put up a fight if denied his request. Not even thirty seconds later a female doctor came through the double doors and shook his father's hand. Tristan, Colin and his mother were instantly at his side, with the rest of the group stopping a few feet back.

Before the lady had the chance to say anything, Colin's words fumbled from his mouth.

'How's Rory?'

The doctor looked at him curiously before glancing down at the clipboard in her hands. She shook her head then glanced back up at them apologetically.

'I'm sorry I must have the wrong family, I'm looking for the family of Lorelai Hayden.'

Her voice rose with the name as she glanced around them into the waiting room. Tristan leaned forward looking as if he were going to pounce on her if she didn't tell him what he needed to know.

'That's us. We're her family!'

Colin glanced at him quickly then shifted his eyes back to the doctor.

'Oh; ok then. I assume one of you is her legal guardian?'

She looked between Susan and Paul expectantly. He gave a quick nod, handed her a small stack of papers, stapled together and she continued with a small smile after quickly shifting through them.

'Well Mister and Misses McCrea, I'm Dr. Chea and first I just want to let you know that Lorelai is stable. Her vitals are strengthening and we pumped her stomach upon arrival so she is still unconscious as of right now.'

Colin jumped slightly when a cold hand wrapped around his and squeezed lightly. He glanced behind him and found Paris standing directly behind him listening to the doctor.

'Lorelai also had a very high amount of narcotics in her system, you're son told the paramedic that she's been abusing this substance for some time now. Is that correct?'

A sharp intake of air came from both behind and beside Colin. He felt Tristan's body begin to fall beside him, as if his knees were giving out on him. Suddenly a hand shot out and Tristan braced himself on Colin's shoulder.

'Yes that's correct. She's been clean for almost a year now.'

'So her parent's were aware of this?'

'Yes, my brother and sister-in-law sent her to rehab, and it seemed to have worked, but…'

Susan trailed off crying softly.

'OK. Also, Miss Hayden's Blood Alcohol Level was far beyond the legal or healthy limit. Do you know anything about that?'

Colin gave a short nod, knowing that the question was directed at him. He turned to his mother who stared at him with accusing eyes.

'She had a few glasses of champagne at the Country club and some hard stuff in the limo on the way home. But I was watching her Mom I swear. I would never knowingly let her hurt herself like this. I would have stopped her the moment I thought it was going to far.'

'Underage drinking is always to far young man.'

'I know Dad. I'm sorry.'

'Has anyone contacted Lorelai's parents?'

His mother nodded once again and sniffled.

'They were still in the air, but I had the airport send a message to the pilot, to be given to them as soon as possible,'

'OK. We're going to keep her over night for observation and she will need to speak with a psychologist. But other then that, we'll inform you when she is moved and if there are any further changes in her condition. You'll be able to see her as soon as she's in a room. Also her parent's will be notified upon arrival about whatever legal issues they're will be.'

'Thank you for speaking with us doctor.'

Dr. Chea smiled politely then returned behind the double doors.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Tristan's POV**

I had been sitting in the same spot for what seemed like hours, when Colin's parent's came rushing through the emergency room doors. I watched as Colin, finally letting his fear show, threw himself into his mother's arms and burst into tears. There's only been one other time that I've seen him cry, and that was they day Chris died. The fact that he contributed the same amount of emotion to this situation as to the death of his cousin - frightened me beyond belief. Something in me suddenly realized that he didn't think she was going to make it and my heart began pounding in my chest, my blood pulsing loudly in my ears. I couldn't hear anything except for the _thump-thump thump-thump thump-thump_, from somewhere off in the distance I acknowledged the fact that Paris burst into tears but I couldn't bring myself to look up, afraid of seeing in her eyes what I had seen in Colin's actions; hopelessness.

He was talking now, words I couldn't understand, words I didn't need to hear. Madeline had told me what she could in the car. Apparently Rory and Colin had gotten into an argument about something and she lashed out pretty viciously at him. Then everything else was pretty much a blur from there, Louise had said something about aspirin, Finn had said something about somebody yelling at Rory and then the rest I had seen with my own eyes. _One. Two. Three! Breathe. One. Two. Three! Breathe. _The image of the large paramedics leaning over her small body, one, pumping her fragile chest with his gigantic hands, looking as if he were going to crush her and the other pressing his mouth to her beautiful mouth, her body laying limp and unresponsive; it all made me light headed and queasy.

I don't know how long I had been staring at the Grey scuff mark on the white tiled floor, but when it began to move, my head began to spin again; I had to look up. As soon as I did the stupid electronic door that had been the cause of my heart stopping many times in the last twenty some minutes, opened once again and a doctor shook Mr. McCrea's hand. I wasn't even aware that I had stood up until I was at Colin's side. I could feel the anxiety radiating off of him, which once again made my heart race. I don't know what Colin said to the doctor, but she suddenly looked confused; she looked at the paper on the metal clip board in her hands then back up at us.

'I'm sorry I must have the wrong family, I'm looking for the family of Lorelai Hayden.'

'We're her family!'

The words left my mouth before I could form a coherent thought in my brain. I felt Colin momentarily look at me as if he didn't know who I was, and then he turned back to the conversation at hand. They were talking about Rory's legal guardians, and that's when it dawned on me that her parent's weren't here; they were flying over an ocean somewhere drinking champagne and completely unaware that the only child they had left was laying in an emergency room unconscious. The doctor looked back up and smiled reassuringly.

'Well Mister and Misses McCrea, I'm Dr. Chea and first I just want to let you know that Lorelai is stable. Her vitals are strengthening and we pumped her stomach upon arrival so she is still unconscious as of right now.'

Something washed over me, a feeling I couldn't define; I suddenly felt like my world was being pieced back together. She was OK. She was alive, and getting stronger by the moment.

'Lorelai also had a very high amount of narcotics in her system, you're son told the paramedic that she's been abusing this substance for some time now. Is that correct?'

What the hell? Without warning the air emptied out of my lungs and my knees buckled. Reflexively I threw a hand over Colin's shoulder, in an attempt to hold myself up. Rory was using drugs? There had to be some kind of mistake. Why would Colin tell the paramedic something like that? I felt a piece of my world fall away; he would only say something like that if it were the truth.

'Yes that's correct. She's been clean for almost a year now.'

'So her parent's were aware of this?'

'Yes, my brother and sister-in-law sent her to rehab, and it seemed to have worked, but…'

A year, her parent's; Rehab? What the hell is going on? Why are they telling these lies about Rory? If Rory had a drug problem, I would know about it! Everything started falling into place, her disappearing last year on her trip to Paris. The freaky mood swings. Ditching school, cutting her hair, the vacant look in her eyes; it all made sense.

With another smile Dr. Chea disappeared behind the automatic doors; Colin and his parent's seemed to be discussing something rather important but once again all I could hear was _thump-thump thump-thump thump-thump. _Finding my strength through my anger I stood up straight and walked out of the emergency room without a word. I don't know fast I was walking, but the voice calling out to me was coming from pretty far back. Turning to unleash my anger on Colin, I knew that my face was probably the same shade of red as my puffy, blood shot eyes.

'Wait a minute!'

'Why didn't she tell me Colin? Why didn't you tell me?'

People were staring as I shouted at him. I knew this wasn't the right time or place but I couldn't stop the pain in my chest, the ball forming in my throat, burning and forcing the words out with the threat of depriving me of oxygen.

'She didn't want anyone to know!'

'But me?'

'Especially you man!'

His words hit me like a whip, what did he mean by especially me? Did she not trust me enough to share something of this magnitude with me?

'What … what do you mean especially me?'

He let out a sigh that told me he didn't want to be having this conversation, now of all times. But I had to know. He did the hand through the hair thing that everybody in the damn world seems to do when they're nervous, and then sat down on the wall of the huge water fountain in the middle of the entrance.

'You look at her like she's a freaking goddess man. Like she's perfect; nobody can live up to that.'

My head began to shake on its own, voicing the confusion I couldn't verbalize.

'Imagine letting down the person who's had you on a pedestal since pretty much the second you met. It's pretty fuckin scary trying to be perfect all the time.'

'Are y-you saying that this ...this is my fault?'

'No! Ugh!'

He did the hair thing again and groaned as if he had any right to be irritated with me right now; the nerve.

'I'm saying that she didn't tell you because she's terrified of letting you down. She can't handle seeing the look on you're face when you realize that she's just as flawed as everyone else.'

'That's stupid!'

'Hey I'm just telling you what she told me alright?'

'She told you this?'

The blows just kept on coming. How could she think … I think I'm going to be sick. I clutched my stomach pushing back the sudden burst of pain; winced as the burning acidy feeling of vomit rose in my throat. My body heaved forward and Colin jumped out of the way just in time for the contents of my stomach to miss his shoes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I can't believe we're having this argument right now. In case you've forgotten Sean, our friend is in there sick and in a lot of trouble!'

'Paris I'm not arguing with you. I just need to know. Is there something going on between you and Colin?'

'I'm not doing this.'

She tried to make her way past him but he moved in front of her, placing his hands on both of her crutches and effectively stopping her. She glared at him but his face remained in the same soft, troubled expression.

'Please.'

The plea in his voice made her exhale a long thoughtful breath. Then just as she was about to give in and tell him the truth, that she didn't know what she felt for Colin, but it was more then just friendship - the emergency doors opened and Colin entered basically holding a pale, weak looking Tristan up. Her eyes widened and Sean automatically followed her gaze, upon seeing his friend's condition, he went over and took him from Colin and sat him in a chair. As everyone gathered around Tristan worriedly Colin went to the check in and asked for a nurse. Involuntarily, Paris's eyes followed his every movement, unaware that not only Sean, but someone else had taken notice. Sean shared a look with the person at his side, and they looked just as unhappy as he did.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Are you alright?'

The sudden break in the hour long silence had Lorelai jumping in her seat. She turned to her amused looking husband and smiled embarrassedly.

'Yes. I was just thinking about Rory.'

'Awe yes.'

The amusement was gone from his face and in its place was a mask of indifference. Lorelai's mouth set in a firm line as she took a sip of her champagne.

'You know Chris, you're really too hard on her.'

He laughed at her absurdity.

'Be serious Lore, the girl hasn't a care in the world. And in all honesty, you would call taking away her cell phone for a week, being too hard on her. So forgive me if I don't apologize for not treating her like a glass doll.'

'I'm not asking you to treat her like glass; I'm asking you to remember that she's not ... Chris.'

She had caught him off guard. Chris was a taboo topic for them, since the funeral they hadn't discussed they're son.

'Lore.'

There was an undeniable warning in his voice telling her to drop it now before he said or did something he'd later regret. But for once Lorelai found her self unable to indulge his needs and continued on with defending they're daughter.

'She's not as strong as he was; at least not anymore.'

'Lorelai stop.'

'Part of her died in that car with him. We're losing what little we have left of her and you just keep pushing her away.'

He looked away from her trying to control his temper; he couldn't lose it in an airplane.

'I barely survived losing one child; I can't lose her too.'

At some point in they're conversation tears filled her eyes and a lump formed in her throat, causing her voice to break on the last few words. Christopher stayed quiet, concentrating on his breathing and trying to erase the topic from memory. The soft knock that came from the other side of the curtain leading to the cockpit, caused him to sigh in relief. Lorelai cleared her throat and sat up straight with a polite smile on her face.

'Come in Sandy.'

The blonde stewardess peeked around the curtain and smiled brightly. She raised her shoulders as if she felt bad for interrupting they're time alone, and then smiled flirtatiously at Chris who returned it with just enough over enthusiasm to make her giggle. Lorelai rolled her eyes at the display and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

'Can we help you Sandy?'

'Oh right. There's a message for you.'

She handed a slip of paper to Chris who in turn handed it to Lorelai without so much as a glance. Sandy turned and walked back behind the curtain, thinking she had gotten away with the wink she gave Chris before pulling the blue material closed. Lorelai made a disgusted noise and Chris simply raised an eyebrow in her direction as he took a sip of his scotch and she unfolded the paper. As he swallowed he watched the different emotions wash over her face before she jumped up and ran behind the curtain, dropping the paper on the floor as she went. He stared after her frozen for a second before he picked up the slip off the floor. His stomach dropped as he read and he felt the blood drain from his face.

_Rory's in the hospital. Something happened at  
home, the kids called 911 & Colin went with her  
in the ambulance. Call Susan or Paul A.S.A.P._


	16. The past is the present

Chapter 15: The past is the present and the present is deadly

_Everybody makes mistakes; it's the defining attribution that makes each of us human_

_But every once in a while we make a mistake so big_

_So unforgivable, that it changes our lives forever._

Hartford Memorial 3am

Rory's POV

What the hell is that noise? I look around in search of the noise piercing my eardrums, and start to panic when I see nothing but darkness. There's a sudden pressure around my upper arm getting tighter and tighter by the second and that's when I really start to freak out. I yank my arm away from whatever was causing my blood flow to stop and feel something sharp rip through my hand. A shriek echoed throughout the room, bouncing off of every hard surface and it takes me a full minute to realize that the cries are coming from my own lips. Suddenly there's a voice at my side … it's Tristan; he sounds just as panicked and is shouting at somebody.

'What's wrong with her?'

'She ripped her IV out! Push the button for the nurse hurry!'

Colin, IV? Why are they talking to each other like I'm not here? Why is it so damn dark in here? I can't see anything. I abruptly realize that my eyes are closed; I attempt to open em but can't, which scares me even more. Somebody starts talking to me in a soft tone just loud enough for me to understand but not loud enough for me to make out who it is. They're stroking my forehead, pushing my hair back and making shushing sounds.

'It's alright baby; mommy's here. It's going to be OK.'

My mom is here? She's supposed to be in London, what is she … something stabbed through my hand once again and I let out another scream, afraid because I couldn't understand what was happening; couldn't see the one person I wanted to see the most right now, the only person that had the ability to calm my nerves.

'Lorelai honey you need to calm down. I'm replacing you're IV.'

'Her name's Rory.'

There was a bite to my Mom's voice that made me smile, or at least I think I was smiling. All of a sudden it occurred to me that if I was able to scream then I must be able to speak.

'Tristan?'

My voice didn't come out as loud as I wanted it to but it was there and that was all that mattered. It surprised me though when his name came from my mouth, apparently it surprised everyone else as well because the noise around me stopped; everything but the loud beeping.

'Rory honey?'

'Mom?'

'Yea babe it's me. How yah feeling kiddo?'

'I can't'

I cough and suddenly there's a straw stuffed between my lips; I cough again once I take a small drink.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

It was Tristan; he was on my left side.

'I can't open my eyes.'

'What?'

'My eyes; I can't see.'

'What's wrong with her?'

It was Colin again; he was at the foot of my bed. I found it amazing how a lack of eyesight heightened every other one of my senses, I could smell my mothers perfume like she had sprayed it in my face. The tapping of Colin's foot sounded as if he was stomping; the erratic beating of Tristan's heart was so loud that it was like listening to my own.

'Her body hasn't completely caught up with her brain; which is completely normal due to everything it's been through recently.'

There was somebody else talking now, most likely the doctor. He had an accent, Italian? I wonder what he looks like … how horrible am I? I'm lying in a hospital bed surrounded by the people who love me and are worried about me and here I am not able to open my eyes but having no problem wondering if the Italian doctor is hot. What is wrong with me?

'What does that mean?'

'Although her brain is functioning normally again, her body's natural instinct is to shut down until it feels one hundred percent; she's exhausted herself. Mrs. Hayden, we're going to give her a mild sedative to let her rest.'

'You're going to knock her out again? She just woke up!'

'Colin!'

'Sorry.'

I could practically see the admonishing look on my mother's face, the look that always made him look like he was six years old again and being scolded. I herd a chair being dragged across the floor coming to a stop on my left, where Tristan stood. A second later a warm hand wrapped around my cold hand; I knew the touch instantly, it was Tristan. His skin was soft but tight against his muscles, a very manly feeling; a safe feeling. He picked up my hand and held it to his lips; the beeping noise above my head picked up and in response the thing wrapped around my arm began to tighten. I felt Tristan smirk against my skin and let out a small laugh as everyone began to panic around him. If I weren't so afraid of ripping the needle from my hand once again, I would have slapped him in the head.

'Morning Mary.'

It was just a whisper against my hand, but I herd him clear as day and had to smile at his words.

'There's the smile I've been waiting for all night. How are you feeling?'

The beeping picked up again; stupid thing is starting to irritate me. Why doesn't somebody turn the damn thing off? And why the hell can I smile but not open my damn eyes?

'Like crap. You?'

He laughed that husky laugh of his so I held my breath, trying to keep the machine at a steady pace; it worked.

'Like crap.'

He grew quiet and interlaced his fingers with mine then sighed. The room was silent, where the hell did everybody go?

'They went out to talk, didn't wanna stress you out anymore.'

Oh. Wait did I say that out loud? Whatever.

'Mary.'

Oh no, that voice; he sounded like his heart was breaking, or like he had just broken every single bone in his body. I suddenly feel like there's something sitting on my chest cutting off all of my oxygen.

'Why didn't you tell me Ror?'

There was something wet on my knuckles … was he crying? Now it's on my cheeks, is it possible that it's raining inside?

'Rory open you're eye's. Look at me Ror, I need you to look at me.'

What is he talking about? He can't possibly think that I'm keeping my freaking eyes closed on purpose! Right? Why would I do something like that; because I'm afraid of what I'll see once I do? He's right. I'm not ready to have all the sympathetic smiles thrown at me; and most of all I'm not ready to see what is sure to be in his eyes. Betrayal, failure – mine not his - and the worst is the sadness, the heartbreaking, bone shatteringly painful sadness that I heard in his voice. I wasn't ready to see it yet. I've seen it in my cousins eyes, my aunt and uncles eyes my grandparent's and Mother and Father's eyes; I can't handle seeing it in Tristan's.

'Rory please.'

I shook my head from right to left while a sob formed in my throat and my eyes squeezed painfully shut.

'Why?'

His voice shook which made the sob start to burn, forcing my mouth open and letting it escape in a heart shattering cry. My body began to shake with the sobs and he mumbled something before lifting me up a little so he could sit beside me. His arms wrapped around me and his lips were pressed firmly to the top of my head.

'I'm sorry Rory, I'm so sorry.'

Why is he apologizing?

'I'm so sorry. God.'

I hear footsteps out in the hall and they stop in front of my room for about ten seconds before retreating back the way they came.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lorelai walked into the dimly lit waiting room, with her hand covering her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. Christopher and Colin were the first ones to see her and instantly jumped to they're feet panicked.

'What's wrong? What happened?'

She shook her head and smiled apologetically at everyone around her; who now consisted of Louise, Colin, Christopher and her parent's. Finn and Madeline had practically been forced into taking a very grumpy Sean home, who in turn insisted that Paris return home as well, seeing as how she was injured and needed all the rest she could get. The argument went on for what seemed like hours before Christopher finally put his foot down and ordered everyone to go home and get some rest. After a lot of begging and guilt tripping, Louise managed to get him to let her stay, that and Colin had told his uncle that she could keep him company, seeing as how Tristan hadn't left Rory's side once since they had moved her to her room. To say that the other teens were upset with the arrangement was an understatement, but Sean and Paris seemed to be the ones the most effected by it; both for totally different reasons of course.

Colin's parent's had returned home shortly after Chris and Lorelai had arrived, they had left Melinda, Colin's four year old sister and Matthew, his ten year old brother, home alone with the family cook who had a family of her own waiting at home for her.

Straub and Francine had left not long after that, after a little persuasion from Chris of course. The moment they had arrived, Francine had been on Lorelai's case, not so subtly blaming her for her granddaughter's problem. Even Emily who usually was the first to agree with her daughter's mother in law, was second's from putting the women in her place.

'Nothing, she's fine. She's awake, sitting up and everything.'

Louise and Colin's faces lit up and they moved to go around her but she stopped them.

'She and Tristan are talking right now; maybe you should give them a minute?'

They nodded simultaneously before continuing out to wait in the hallway. Emily and Richard said something about going to take the kids to the cafeteria and calling everybody to let them know she was OK, then exited with they're hand's entwined. Christopher waited for them to be safely out of sight before looking at his wife again. She was shaking from head to toe. He wrapped his arms around her as she broke down crying.

'Chris we almost lost her!'

'I know.'

His voice began to shake and the tears that had filled his eyes the instant he saw her walk in crying, streamed down his face and he pulled her tighter to his body

'I know.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emily and Richard walked about twenty steps ahead of Louise and Colin as they made they're way to the cafeteria in the basement. They had both politely declined the offer, but were told that they needed to have something in they're stomachs or they would be in the room next to Rory. They quickly realized that the two older Gilmore's were simply trying to keep busy while waiting to see they're granddaughter, so they agreed and followed them with smiles on they're face's. Louise had her arm linked with Colin's and her head leaning on his shoulder as they walked. She was thinking about everything that had happened that night and how quickly everything she thought she knew had changed. Level headed Rory, who had never done an illegal thing in her life, was addicted to pain medication and had landed herself in the hospital by over dowsing on vicodin and vodka; a deadly combination. Colin, who she considered her best friend above anybody else, who she told everything to and knew everything about, had kept this secret from her not trusting her enough to share his pain with; And Sean and Paris, who were happy and in love with each other, were hanging on by a thread. She had seen the look in Paris's eyes tonight; she watched with Sean by her side as her friend followed every single movement Colin made as if her very next breath depended on it. The jealousy that flared in the other blondes eyes when he had asked his Uncle if she could stay with him, didn't go unnoticed either. When had everything gotten so screwed up? When had Rory become so depressed that she no longer wanted to live? When had Paris fallen out of love with her boyfriend and fallen in love with they're best friend?

'Hey, what are you thinking about?'

She jumped slightly as his voice broke the silence in the long hallway, then quickly regained her composure and smiled with a small shake of her head.

'Everything. Tonight has been … insane.'

'Yea I know; I'm sorry you must be exhausted. I'll take you home as soon as I see Rory I promise.'

'Right, coz I'm just dying to go home. I'm fine silly, don't even worry about it. I wanted to stay, remember? '

Colin sighed and leaned his head against hers.

'I never got the chance to ask you how you're doing.'

'I'll be fine as soon as I see her; it's all just kind of surreal still.'

'Yea; but I mean … thing's with you're mom seem to be getting worse.'

'My Dad has been away a lot lately; she's just stressing. And we both know I don't make things any easier on her.'

She tried to laugh it off but he knew what she was doing.

'Lou.'

The smile fell from her face and her eyes became heavy with unshed tears; she turned her head away from the Gilmore's, bringing her lips an inch from his ear.

'They're talking about divorce.'

Colin froze and then pulled away from her so he could see her hidden face. She smiled sadly then detangled herself from him and picked up her speed. He watched her walk away, not knowing what to do; how to make things better. Emily and Richard came to a stop in front of a row of elevators, followed immediately by a smiling Louise. She spoke to the elder Gilmore's then turned around with a curious expression on her face. Realizing that he had stopped walking and they were more then half way down the hall, he jogged over to them.

'What were you doing young man?'

'I'm sorry Grandma I saw that my shoe was untied and got distracted thinking about everything.'

Colin's paternal grandparent's had died in a plane accident when his father was twelve years old, so growing up he could never understand why other kids had two set's of grandparent's and he only got one. When he turned six and he and his parent's had moved to Hartford from New York and he had begun to spend all of his time with Chris and Rory, he had taken to referring to the Gilmore's as his grandparent's and nobody ever corrected him. Growing up, Emily and Richard treated him no differently then they're blood grandchildren and now the fact didn't even occur to them anymore; he was they're grandson.

'Of course. Well come now, lets get you children something to eat. Although I can't really imagine what there could be in this place that would be of any nutrition.'

'Now Emily it's a hospital, I'm sure they know one or two thing's about healthy food.'

'Please Richard, these doctor's work twenty, thirty hour shifts, the only thing they care about is getting something in they're stomach and getting to a bed.'

Louise and Colin laughed as the doors to the elevator shut.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'What are we going to do?'

Lorelai sighed and turned in her seat so she could better see her husband who sat a seat away from her holding her hand across the empty seat between them and absentmindedly rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb.

'I don't know.'

'Lore I think that maybe she need's to go back to rehab.'

She pulled her hand out of his grasp and shook her head while laughing incredulously.

'What?'

'Our daughter almost died tonight Chris.'

'I understand that, I also understand that it only happened because she has a problem.'

'And you don't think I know that?'

'I think you're in denial.'

'Denial? She's lying in a hospital Christopher! How could I possibly be in denial?'

He didn't respond, she was angry and he knew better then to start an argument in public.

'You are unbelievable do you know that? She's not here because she has a problem; she's here because she depressed. And those damn pills are the only way she knows how to make it stop, if even for just a little while. Can you imagine how easy it must be for her? Knowing exactly how to get rid of all the pain? Hell I'd take the damn pills if I wasn't such an effing coward!'

'Are you condoning this?'

'Of course not!'

'Well it sure as hell sounds like it!'

Now he was angry, screw public.

Lorelai sighed and stood up, trying to think of a different approach.

'Every time I say I've got work and I disappear for days at a time, throwing myself into the inns. Every time you fill that damn glass with scotch or jump on that stupid plane to god knows where. Every time one of us runs away, that's our escape from it!'

Tears were once again filling her eyes and her voice had become heavy with emotion. Chris simply sat back and stared at her, not knowing what to say.

'All this time we've been trying to ease our pain, take care of ourselves, but we forgot about her Chris, we forgot that her heart was broken and she's dying Christopher! We left her when Chris left us and we forgot to take care of her, the one person he cared about the most in this world, the only thing that ever really mattered to him. We left her here to pick up the pieces all on her own never thinking that she couldn't handle it, she did the only thing that made any sense to her!'

'OK I understand, she need's to deal with her pain, but she's got to find a different way of doing it, and I think rehab is exactly what she needs to do that.'

'God, how can you not get it? I'm not saying she doesn't need to go to rehab; I'm just saying not right now. Right now she needs us! Her parent's, the people who were supposed to make sure something like this never happened to her. We were supposed to be there for them Christopher and we weren't. We weren't there for Chris when he asked for our help and now he's gone; I won't lose Rory to.'

She walked out of the room without another word. Christopher sat in his chair staring at the empty hallway and breathing heavily, without another thought he stood and walked out the hospital exit and didn't dare to look back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Hey kid.'

'Hey.'

Tristan slowly moved away from Rory careful not to wake her. He led Lorelai to the far corner of the room so they could talk.

'How long has she been out?'

'The medicine kicked in about ten minutes ago.'

'How was she? I saw you guy's talking, wanted to give you some privacy.'

'I can't believe any of this is happening.'

He pulled his hand through his already messy hair and rubbed his tired eyes.

'I know honey; I'm sorry we didn't tell you when we found out but she asked us not to.'

'Yea that's what Colin said.'

He shook his head trying to get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach and decided to change the subject.

'She didn't say much just that she felt like crap and I really couldn't understand anything else; she cried herself to sleep.'

Lorelai exhaled a long breath and sat down in a chair. While watching her daughter sleep, she spoke to Tristan in a hushed voice.

'Her father wants to send her back to California.'

'What about you?'

'I agree with him of course; but I think right now what she needs more then anything is to be here with the people who love her.'

Copying her action's he sat on the edge of the window and stared sadly at Rory.

'How could I have missed something like this?'

'Hey we all missed it kiddo. It's nobody's fault; losing Chris just – broke her.'

'How did you guy's find out?'

There was a distant look in her eyes as she remembered that day over a year ago.

'Do you remember when Carmen slipped in the kitchen awhile back?'

'Yea, she banged up her knee pretty badly.'

'Yea. Well, the pills the doctor gave her for the pain were to strong for her so he told her to take half of one when ever she needed it, instead of the whole pill. Well about a week or so later she started noticing that the pills were disappearing faster then she was taking em. Five, then ten every few days, by the end of the third week the bottle was empty and she needed to get a new prescription. You know Carmen though, always wants to leave the worst case scenario for last, so she just assumed that she had miss counted while taking em, or that maybe somebody had spilled em and felt to bad to admit it … yah know stuff like that; so anyway she didn't say anything. A week later, half the bottles gone, and there were like a hundred pills in it or something like that. So that day Colin comes by saying that Rory's acting funny and that she wasn't there after school when the driver came to pick them up. You probably remember most of the stuff she did at school, mostly acting out, ditching, things like that.'

Tristan nodded, remembering exactly when she was talking about. He had asked anybody who would listen if they knew what was going on with her but nobody had any clue; then not to long after that she disappeared, to Paris.

'Then thing's started getting bad, she came home that night high, we could all see it. Colin was there with us and we sat her down and asked her what was going on, she denied everything of course. Then we told her that we knew she had taken the pills and that we weren't angry with her, we just needed to know so that we could help her. She went crazy, screaming and throwing thing's, she punched Colin right in the jaw.'

Lorelai touched her face lightly, never taking her eyes off of Rory. Tristan's eyes were wide with a mixture of fear and surprise; he remembered that as well. Colin had showed up to school one day after a week of being absent and ignoring phone calls and visits, with a black and purple bruise marring his right cheek. When they had asked him what had happened, his reply was never really clear; the frightening thing was that Rory, small fragile looking Rory, had put that bruise there.

'Knocked a few teeth out'

'How could I have not heard any of this? I was right next door.'

'I don't know. We found out later though, when she was in rehab, that she had been on something else, meth. It had only been a few times, but still … God if you would have seen her Tristan, it's hard to look at her the same sometimes, knowing what she's been through. She love's you kid, don't doubt that; you're lucky you didn't know, trust me.'

They were both quiet for a long time after that just listening to the beeping of the heart monitor and watching as she slept peacefully, both fearing what would happen come morning.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------0o0o0oSillyLilCoffeeLovero0o0o0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: OK so I'm really into this story right now which is why the updates have been so close together lol … I had to cut a lot off of the end of this chapter and start a new one because if I didn't then it was going to go on forever. I've been neglecting my other FF because I've been so fascinated by this story lol that's the correct word too fascinated …. I never seem to write enough because I'm so interested in where the characters are going (in my head) and I can't wait to get there lol. I love writing this fic and I hope you all are enjoying it as well. Thank you all for the awesome reviews, you honestly have no idea how humbling it is to read them. Thank you all Hope to hear from you all.

SillyLilCoffeeLover


	17. Quick note

Hey everyone .. I know, it's been awhile right? I'm so sorry, my laptop's been out of commission for awhile now, it's this whole thing with me not being able to keep a charger longer then two months .. oops lol. Anyway all of my stuff is on there and I've tried picking up on my desktop as best I can but it's just not happening for me. So lets cross your fingers for me everyone, that I'll get a new charger ASAP!! Alrighty Thanks and sorry!!


	18. Protect me you

Chapter 17: Protect me you

**Hartford Memorial 11am  
**  
The sun shown bright through the blinds as Rory opened her eyes, the instant everything came into focus she locked eyes with her mother's. Lorelai sat in a chair beside the bed, her head laying beside Rory's. She smiled at her daughter and slid her fingers along the profile of her face.

'Hey there kid.'

Rory gave her a weak smile but it quickly faded.

'I'm sorry I ruined your trip. Dad's probably'

'Hey, don't worry about your didn't ruin anything.'

They stared at each other for a minute then Rory smiled knowingly.

'He still went.'

'Ror..'

Lorelai trailed off not knowing how to possibly finish that sentance. There was no way to finish it.

'Yea he went. Not because he didn't want to see you though, it was us.'

''You guys got in another fight?'

Again she smoothed her hand over Rory's hair, still not used to the short locks.

'He wants to send me away.'  
'Your not going anywhere you hear me?'

Rory closed her eyes and pursed her lips trying with all her strength to hold her tears back, but after the burning in her throat became to much her lips parted and she began to sob. Lorelai let out a cry as well before lying beside Rory and pulling her into her arms. She kissed the top of her daughters head as they both cried.

'Mom?'  
'Hmm?'  
'Do you think that - that Chirs is disappointed in me to?'  
'Oh kiddo not a chance in hell.'

* * *

'Hey.'

Colin's eyes flew open when he felt someone kick his foot and he looked around the room in panic.

'What? What happened?'

A girlish laugh caused him to draw his eyebrows together in confusion. When he looked to his left he had to do a double take before groaning.

'Shit.'  
'Good to see you to.'  
'What are you doing here?'  
'Tristan called.'

Rolling his eyes he sat back in his chair and leaned his head back against the wall.

'Right.'

'You don't believe me?'

'Not even he's that stupid.'

They stared at each other for a second then sighing Colin looked away from the red-headed girl beside him and up at the celing.

'How bad is it?'

Silently, Anna placed her elbow on the armrest and began chewing on her pinki nail. Colin closed his eyes and pulled his hands over his face and through his hair.

'Shit.'  
'Summer called me. Apparently she was coming home from the thing at the country club and saw the ambulance. She says she talked to a fireman or paramedic or something, witch in Summer speak means she threw herself at him until he told her what she wanted to hear.'

Colin let out a small laugh before looking back at Anna who was still chewing on her nail, he pulled her hand out of her mouth and rose a questioning eyebrow. She gave a half smile and gestured around the room.

'Sorry, it's just this is the first time I've had to be back here since the accident.'

Colin gave an understanding nod and squeezed her hand before letting it go.

'So why'd she call you? I doubt it was out of care for Rory.'

'Hardly. Apparently she figured I hated Rory just as much as she does and thought I would want to be the first to know.'

His jaw tightened and his hands balled into fists.

'She's a bitch Colin. Don't even think about her. How's Rory?'

Trying to push his anger aside he shook his head and let out a long breath.

'Uh, I don't know - her vitals are all stable and she woke up around 3 this morning but she freaked out so the doctor gave her something called ativan to calm her down. Tristan talked to her for a little bit before she knocked out again. Her Mom is in there with her now, last I heard she hadn't woken up yet. Louise and Tristan went to get us some food and coffee because my aunt looks like shes going to faint any second now.'

Anna's body completely stiffened at the mention of Louise and she shifted in her seat as if she were trying to keep herself from up and running out of the hospital. While everyone else had tried to reason with Rory after the accident, Louise had stood by her side and Anna knew it was because she blamed her for Chris` death just as much as Rory did. Colin apparently took notice to the dramatic change in her posture because he tilted his head to the side and leaned in closer.

'Are you ok?'

'Yea.'

'You sure? You don't look like it.'  
'Fine. So Lorelai's taking it pretty hard?'

He watched her for a second, then sat back.

'Yea. She's beating herself up pretty bad.'

'And Mr. Hayden?'

'Is probably in the air right now.'

'What?'

'They were on their way to Paris and had to turn the plane around.'  
'He just left?'

'He was here for awhile, after she woke up Louise and I went with the Grandparent's to get something to eat and when we got back he was gone. The official story is that he went home to rest.'  
'Oh my god. I can't believe it. No, what am I saying? I completely believe it.'

Anna rose to her feet, furious. Colin watched her pace back and forth mumbling things he couldn't understand.

'Lorelai must be a wreck right now!'  
'Yea she is and you getting all pissed off isn't going to help. Calm down.'  
'How are you not pissed?'  
'I am. At him, at myself, at Rory. We're all upset Anna but right now isn't the time.'

She took a few calming breaths before sitting down again.

'I'm sorry. I just - I can't believe she's doing this again.'

Confused, Colin's eyebrows knitted together but before he could get a word in she rambled on with a glazed look in her eyes and a sad smile on her face.

"God I remember the day Chris told me, we had only been together like a month and he shows up outside my window in the middle of the night completely pissed off at her. He just went on and on for what I swear was hours, about how he couldn't believe how stupid she had been and how she's supposed to be the smart one and he was supposed to be the screw up.'

She laughed and continued on, never noticing the look on the face of the boy beside her.

'It made no sense what-so-ever at first. I mean yea I get that he'd be mad at her for doing drugs but I swear to god, it was like he was more angry with her for switching things up without telling him first - but in the end ... he was just really scared and didn't know how else to react. She told him it had only been a few time's but .. still, yah know?'

She sighed and then finally her gaze shifted back into focus and over to Colins confused face. Her own face quickly mimicked his.

'Why are you looking at me like ... oh god you didn't know.'

In a fit of anger Colin jumped to his feet knocking his chair off balance in the process. Anna jumps at the sudden movement and instantly her pinkie nail is back in her mouth and she's chewing at it nervously. Watching as he paces back and forth one hand in his pocket and the other in his hair she stumbles to her feet and reaches out nervously in an attempt to calm him.

'Colin I swear I thought you knew.'  
'How could he of not - Damn it!'

Not knowing what else to do with all of the anger building up inside of him, he kicks the trash can across the room. Anna let's out a cry of panic just as Louise and Tristan turn into the room with wide eyes. Spotting Colin sitting in the corner with his head cradled in his arms, Louise glances quickly at the frightened redhead before putting the bags she was carrying down on the table by the door and moving to slouch down in front of Colin. Tristan is frozen in place, his mind having taken the leap to the worst imaginable reason for the situation. After a few seconds with nothing but a head shake from Colin, Louise rises and advances on Anna.

'What happened?'  
'I didn't mean- I mean I thought he would have ..'  
'What did you do?'  
'Leave her. She didn't do anything. Everything's fine.'

They all look to Colin who is still sitting in the corner; he shakes his head while laughing spitefully. Tristan takes a few tentative steps in and almost drops the bag and sodas he's carrying.

'We were talking and I just lost my temper.'  
'Which I'm sure was because of something she said or did.'

Once again accusing eye's are on Anna causing her to take an instinctive step back.

'What the hell are you even doing here?'  
'I wanted to make sure Rory was ok.'  
'Rory's none of your business. Our lives have nothing to do with you anymore.'  
'Lousie stop. Anna don't pay attention to'

Anna cut's Tirstan off with a shake of her head as tears fill her eye's. Louise's angry demeanor falters slightly and she shifts her weight to her left foot and crosses her arms over her chest.

'You know Louise .. I knew, when I heard about what happened, that I shouldn't come .. and I had decided not to, then I realized that .. even though Rory may not want me in her life anymore or you or whoever ... that doesn't change the fact that I would drop anything in a second for anyone of you if you needed me. So go ahead and hate me all you want, but this right now isn't about you or me, it's about Rory. I understand that the second she see's me she'll tell me to go to hell and get out, but I'm not going anywhere until she does .. so your just going to have to deal with my being here for the time being.'

They were all quiet for awhile until Louise turned and sat cross-legged in the chair beside the table where she had put the food and began taking her food out. Tristan glanced at Anna who looked just as uncertain as he knew he did; then at Colin who still sat in the corner staring off into space. After setting everything down he takes a seat as well and mimics Louise's actions.

Figuring it was all safe enough for now, Anna moved to the other side of the waiting room and picked up the now broken trash can. With a small sigh she places it right side up with the hole facing the wall then walks over to Colin and lowers herself to his height. Her voice is soft and apologetic.

'I'm really sorry. I honestly didn't know.'  
'I believe you; I'm not mad at you.'

His mood didn't change in the slightest so she moved from her spot in front of him to sit on the ground beside him and pulled her knees to her chest.

'Your mad at Chris?'  
'Yes. Which is completely illogical I know, but I am. I'm pissed off and I want to ... punch him but he's not here and I don't know what the hell to do.'  
'Colin you and I both know that Chris didn't always think everything through. He was more of the do now deal only when or if the need occurs kinda guy. He probably figured there was no reason to say anything.'

Hearing every word they were saying, Tristan put his turkey sandwich down.

'Ok, I was going to let it go because honestly I'm not sure how much more I can handle right now, but what the hell is going on?'

Laying her head on her knees, Anna looks at Tristan but says nothing, letting Colin take the lead. Laughing, he leans his head against the wall.

'Where do you want me to start? With Summer finding out about Rory and calling Anna because she's a vindictive little Bitch? Or with the fact that Rory's been using since sometime around the eighth grade and Chris knew about it, but didn't tell anybody?'  
'What?'

Both Louise and Tristan had sat forward with furry in their eye's. Anna spoke slowly, uncertainty thick in her voice.

'Do you guy's remember that guy .. black hair - dark eye's ... had that whole Columbine thing going on?'  
'Alexander Wyatt.'

All three teens gave Louise a questioning look and she shrugged.

'I'm good with names. Wait she was getting high with Alexander Wyatt? I thought Rory couldn't stand that guy - she said he scared the crap out of her.'  
'I'm just telling what I know.'  
'Whoa, that make's no sense!'  
'And what about any of this _does _make sense Louise?'  
'You know what Tristan I'm getting really sick of the attitude.'  
'My attitude? Are you joking? Need I remind you of the little hissy fit you through earlier so you could stay? Just so you could prove something to Paris.'  
'What the hell are you talking about?'  
'Why do you have to treat every situation like it's a damn game? This is Rory's life not the latest gossip.'  
'And you don't think I get that? Why, because I'm not playing the poor me role like you are? I'm just as scared for her as you are you ass.'  
'You know what you guy's'

Colin spoke calmly catching everyone's attention.

'Maybe the two of you should go home for a little while. We've been cooped up here together all night and are all tired and saying things we don't mean.'

Tristan and Louise glanced at each other then back at Colin.

'I think we might just need a little bit of space.'  
'I'm gonna go check on Rory and Lorelai.'  
'Take her, her food man, I don't need her getting sick to.'  
'Yea.'

As Tristan left the room, he and Louise shot glares at one another when they thought nobody could see. Once he was gone she turned back to Colin who was talking quietly with Anna. Irritation flared inside of her, getting up she held her hand out to Colin.

'Can I have the keys to your grandparent's car? I can lay down in there for a little bit. Get out of your way.'

He looked up at her and sighed at the evident hurt in her eye's and voice. Anna feeling as if she were invading on a private moment rose to her feet and gestured awkwardly to the hall while pulling out her cell.

'I'm just gonna.'

Colin reached for Louises hand in an attempt to pull her down to the ground beside him, but she jerked out of his reach.

'Lou.'  
'Just give me the key's Colin.'  
'Come on, I didn't mean that you were in my way. You guy's were just getting out of hand.'  
'You guy's? He started that! All I did was defend myself.'  
'I know but'  
'No there is no but. He tells me that I don't care about Rory and that he apparently see's me as the same brainless brat that my mother does, and I'm supposed to what? Understand? Because Rory didn't trust him? New's flash she lied to all of us.'

Colin stayed quiet as a tear fell down her cheek. She inhaled a long breath and looked away for a few seconds then put her hand out again.

'Can I please have the key's? As soon as I'm out of here you can talk to Anna or Paris or whoever the hell you want about everything going on.'

She watched him for a second as sympathy turned into confusion then turned to leave.

'Forget it.'  
'Hey wait a minute.'

He jumps to his feet and is within a foot of her in an instant blocking her from the exit.

'What the hell was that?'  
'Move.'

'No explain, one second your pissed at Tristan and the next your throwing blows at me.'  
'Just - forget it.'  
'Louise talk to me.'

Fire flared in her eye's.

'Talk to you? Now you wanna talk?  
'What?'  
'I've told you everything Colin, about my Dad's affair ... about the divorce. Now all of this stuff with Rory ... and I just can't understand why you didn't come to me.'  
'I told you, she didn't want'  
'OK fine, but how about now? Why are you talking to anyone but me?'  
'I am talking to you.'  
'About me, it's always about what's going on in my life and I appreciate that your there I really do but why don't you trust me?'  
'That's not  
'Anna who isn't even apart of our lives anymore, you can sit and talk to about everything. Why not me Colin?'

She hadn't raised her voice once, there was only hurt in her voice and he didn't know how to respond. In truth she was right, he had been avoiding talking with her about anything regarding Rory since the grandparent's left. He wasn't entierly sure why though, just chalked it up to not wanting to really deal with anything that was happening.  
He took another step toward her and cupped her face in his hands getting a small sigh in response. Taking that as a good sign he took another step, she shook her head then stepped back.

'Stop.'

'What?'  
'Your trying to confuse me. I just really can't do this - us or whatever we are or aren't, I can't do it anymore.'  
'Whoa wait a minute where is this coming from?'

She was crying all of a sudden and Colin didn't know what was happening. He had never made a girl cry before, aside from Rory but they were small and it usually involved a headless barbie or a no girls aloud club sign. With those things he knew how to fix the problem an apology or coffee usually did the trick but this was Louise, his best friend and he had no idea how to fix what was happening.

She shook her head and whipped her eyes, angry at herself for letting him see her cry. It wasn't the first time of course but it was the first time he had seen her cry over him.

'Damn it!'  
'Louise look at me.'

'No.'  
'Why?'

She turned her head away from him then back and stared down at her shoes while tears continued to fall from her eyes.

'Please.'

He tried to bring her eyes back to him but she shook her head again.

'No, If I do your just going to do something to make me forget and I don't want to. I'm tired of forgetting.'  
'Your talking about what happened the other night?'  
'Yea Colin and every time before that. This whole being here for one another thing ... we've taken it to far. Or I have at least.'  
'I honestly don't know where this is coming from, I thought everything was good.'  
'Of course you did, why wouldn't you? You have been kind of distracted lately.'

Her words were biting and there meaning was more then clear. Colin's head jerked back in surprise, before his words could make it passed his lip's she was talking again.

'I saw the way you looked at Paris last night.'

Still stumbling for the right words to say, he stared at her wide eyed and mouth agape.

'I saw her reach for your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world and when you took it ... it was like ... I've can't even describe it. All I know is that, no matter how hard I try I can never make you look like that. I love you Colin, as a friend, as .... whatever - and I admit that I wish you could feel something even remotely close to what I'm feeling but I know it's not going to happen.'

Again she cut him off before he could protest.

'I'm OK with that though - really I am. I just can't keep doing this weird friends with benefits thing that we've got going. Not if I want to be able to still have the friends part.'

In a blink she was gone and Colin stood alone and speechless.

* * *

Still angry, Tristan turns the corner and hears a laugh reverberate down the hallway, his smile comes naturally and he walks faster to the last room on the right. As he turns into the room, the first thing he is met with is a smiling Rory. Lorelai sees the food in his hands and jumps up.

'Oh good I'm starving.'  
'Pastrami and an order of fries.'  
'Yum.'

She grabbed the bag from him and sat back down beside Rory where she then pulled the hospital bed table in front of them and began taking her food out.  
Tristan remained in the doorway until Rory looked over and stuffed a french fry in her mouth.

'Why are you just standing there?'

He found himself unable to answer her, distracted by how unfamiliar she looked to him. She sat there in the over-sized bed, sans make-up dressed in a hospital gown and an IV drip attached to her hand, her short red curls only intensified the feeling. She said something and his brain shifted back into focus just as she looked down at her lap with a sad look on her face. Lorelai looked uncomfortably from her food to him and nodded as he tilted his head apologetically. She packed up her sandwich and got to her feet.

'I'm gonna go out into the waiting room and check up on Colin.'  
'Yea that's probably a good idea.'

His tone was telling and Lorelai nodded as she made her way past him. They were both quiet for awhile until Rory picked up another french fry and bit into it. Seeming to be broken out of some sort of trans Tristan moved into the room.

'Your looking at me like you don't know me.'

He paused a second then sat down at the foot of her bed.

'I guess - I guess I kinda felt like I didn't for a minute.'

She inhaled a trembling breath and nodded.

'What's wrong with Colin?'  
'Louise and I got into a little argument and I think it really upset him.'

He laughed as her eyebrow raised in question.

'Ok it was a pretty bad argument.'

'Why?'  
'Not a big deal.'  
'Right. So it was about me.'

She shifted uncomfortably and sighed.

'What was it?'  
'I don't think now's'

'Tristan.'  
'Ok. Anna's here.'

He was surprised by the lack of response so when he continued he's voice was uneasy.

'She was telling us some stuff and I guess I kind of bit Louise's head off.'

'What was she telling you?'

Her voice was distant and he had the feeling that she already knew.

'That this whole thing started awhile before you led everyone to believe...and that Chris knew.'

She was quiet again.

'Ror?'

'I don't know what to tell you.'  
'So she's right?'

Rory pushed the table aside roughly and sat up straight. Tristan watched her shaken by the burst of aggression. She smiled mockingly.

'Surprise! Lorelai perfect fucking Hayden is not only human but an addict to boot. Happy now?'  
'Rory'  
'Rory Rory Rory I'm so sick of everyone saying my name like their talking to a damn mental patient. Do you have any idea how many times I've had to listen to that in the past three years? Now from you to?'  
'All I said was Rory. Maybe if you weren't acting like you needed to be in a straight jacket people wouldn't be treating you that way.'  
'So it's my fault?'  
'Of course it's your fault! Who the hell else` could it be?'

She paused and watched as his chest rose and fell, his anger evident. They were both silent for a long while, both trying to let their anger dissipate. Suddenly he scooted forward, when he spoke his voice held no sympathy in it, but he was calmer.

'I'm not going to let you push me away Rory. I keep hearing that you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to look at you differently but let's be honest ... you didn't say anything because you were scared.'  
'What the hell are you talking about?'  
'Well that's what you do isn't it? You run and hide when things get tough, you push people away. You knew I wouldn't let you though and that's why you didn't want me to know,'  
'You still think you know me?'  
'Yes! There's absolutely nobody in this world who knows you the way I do.'

The conviction in his voice finally shook her and she laughed bitterly then looked away trying to push back the tears that threatened to fall. Unable to stop them she shook her head then looked back at him, her voice came out weak and broken.

'No you don't. Look at me Tris, do I look like the version of me you have in your head?'

Not waiting for him to respond she looked away again.

'I can do great in school, smile on cue, l-laugh and joke and pretend like everything is perfect ... but I'm so sick of pretending. I'm tired of being alone and don't tell me I'm not because you have no clue. I love you Tris, I wouldn't have made it this long without you but there is not one day that I am not completely and utterly alone. I can't explain it I just ... we could be anywhere doing anything and the entire time I'm telling myself ... he's with somebody that's not real. He doesn't know me, if he did ... if any of them did, this wouldn't be happening.'

He was quiet, looking for the right thing to say. His eye's roamed over her face and he wondered for an instant if she was right. Did he know her? That thought was gone just as quickly as it had come, of course he knew her there wasn't a doubt in his mind. Thoughtfully he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then smiled.

'I love you.'

She laughed tearfully.

'I know, that's not'  
'No..I love you.'

She was silent for along time, the way he emphasized each word made his meaning clear. When her brain caught up to the rapid pounding of her heart, her first thought was to punch him. How dare he say something like that when she was falling apart. Could he not see that the last thing she needed right now was for him to take their friendship, the last thread securing her to her sanity, and snap it in half? Her second thought was that he was making a joke. A very mean, life changing, unfunny joke. But she watched him, and his face showed no sign that he was joking, actually the longer she didn't respond the more panicked he was looking. Her mouth opened out of need to calm him, but nothing came out and quickly she shut it again.

'Your freaking out.'

Again her mouth opened and closed, her eye's wide. His brain is screaming at him, her reaction making him rethink why he had decided to reveal this monumental piece of information. He grabbed her hand and decided there was no going back now.

'None of it matters. I love you, not because your book smart, but because you could recite the lyrics to every Sonic Youth song ever made. I couldn't care less if you could smile on cue because there is nothing more beautiful in this world then your smile when your reading a book or listening to some love song that you would never in a million years admit to having on your ipod. You may not think I don't know when your faking a laugh, but I do because the two are nothing alike. One is entirely pure and the other .. well the other reminds me a little bit of your Great Grandma Lorelai and it creeps the hell out of me. If you don't wanna joke then don't, honestly Mare your not all that funny anyway. I love you because you have the biggest, purest heart I've ever seen ... and all of this, the pills and the other drugs, they matter I won't lie. They scare the shit out of me Rory, but nothing could ever change the way I look at you because even though I see the mask and the different hair, I know the girl behind it and I love every single one of her flaws.'

She was silent for a long time, just staring at the boy in front of her. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there but slowly Tristan nodded and started to get up. The next few moments her mind was completely blank and her body moved on it's own accord. She reached for his hand to stop him and the next thing she knew she was pulling him toward her. Before either of them could think about what was happening, their lips touched and everything else faded away.

* * *

A/N: Hey I know this has taken forever and I honestly apologize from the bottom of my heart ... I know it's not as long as it could be and you can throw tomatoes at me in your head if you'd like, I deserve it :)

Well I hope that despite it's length you still like it ... and if not well ... idk throw two tomatoes? haha enjoy let me know what you think,


	19. What a good boy

Chapter 18: What a good boy

Rory felt as if the room was spinning as Tristan's tongue slid across her bottom lip.

'Oh !'

Everything came crashing down around them and he pulled away instantly. The nurse stood in the doorway with a clipboard in her hand and embarrassed smile on her face.

'I'm sorry. I just need to take Miss Hayden's vitals.'

Rory gave her as much of a smile as she could muster, glanced quickly at Tristan who was staring at her then looked to the door once again where a woman in a light blue skirt and white button up had taken the nurses place. She was carrying a small stack of papers and her cell phone which she was looking down at. The nurse, who now stood beside Rory, greeted her with a friendly smile.

'Doctor.'

The brunette women looked up from her phone looking a bit disoriented; she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. Looking her over Rory guessed she was in her late twenties. She stepped into the room and stuck her hand out to Rory, then realizing she still held her phone in it she tossed it on top of the stack of papers, laughed and reached out again.

'Lorelai I'm Doctor Ramsey. It is Lorelai right?'  
'Yea, but you can call me Rory. What happened to Doctor Allan?'  
'Oh I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm a psychiatrist here at Hartford Memorial.'  
'I don't need a psychiatrist.'

Her entire body went on alert and Tristan took notice to it. Before she could attack the poor doctor he cleared his throat.

'It's mandatory that you talk to her Ror.'

She turned to him accusingly. Doctor Ramsey stood quietly and waited. A moment later the nurse looked to her questioningly then left when she nodded her OK.

'Why?'

He looked to the doctor and she smiled.

'Because you Over Dosed Miss Hayden.'  
'Not in the way you guy's are making it seem. It was an accident.'  
'Accident or not, the reality is that it did happen. So we need to talk about why and how you got here.'  
'My stupid cousin called 911.'  
'So you blame your cousin for this?'  
'Yes!'

Nodding she sat down in the chair beside the bed and pulled her pen out. Rory looked between her and Tristan nervously.

'No, I don't mean it's his fault I took the pills, it's just … he didn't have to make such a big deal out of it.'  
'And you don't think it is? A big deal?'  
'It's a problem; but one I can deal with. It's not this huge thing that everybody's making it out to be.'  
'Rory'

When he spoke this time the doctor looked at him and stretched out her hand to him.

'And you are?'  
'Tristan DuGrey. Rory's'  
'Friend.'

Her eyes shifted away from his and heaviness filled his chest.

'Oh ok great. Rory is it OK if Tristan stays or would you like for him to step out while we talk.'

He started to get up, thinking that she was going to ask him to leave but she reached for his hand pulling him back.

'I want him to stay.'  
'OK that's fine.'

She crossed her legs and posed her pen above the paper.

'I ran into your Mother and cousin outside and we talked for a bit. She said you may be more inclined to talk without her here. '  
'Well she was wrong.'  
'Would you prefer I go and get her?'  
'No I'd prefer if you'd just go.'  
'Rory, stop.'  
'No it's fine Mister DuGrey. Rory, you're angry I get that, this is an upsetting situation.'

With a roll of her eyes, Rory pulled herself up to sit straight in the bed.

'But it's not new is it? You've been angry for awhile haven't you?'

Letting go of Tristan's hand she crossed her arms defensively.

'I'm not angry with anybody.'  
'OK.'

She let the subject drop and once again began to read then looked back to Rory and leaned forward.

'Can you tell me about your brother?'  
'He has nothing to do with any of this!'  
'Your Mom tells me the anniversary of his passing is this week. That must be very difficult for you to deal with.'  
'You mean him dying? No it's like a day at the beach. Of course it's difficult, but I didn't try to kill myself over it.'  
'What's his name?'  
'What? '  
'Your brother, what is his name?'

Rory's eyes narrowed and Tristan moved to answer but with another smile and small gesture of her hand, Doctor Ramsey stopped him.

'I'd like Rory to answer.'  
'What does it matter?'  
'You were twins were you not? I mean the two of you must have been very close. '  
'I guess.'  
'Well I'm here to learn about you, and he's apart of you.'

There was silence and for the first time it looked as if the doctor were actually getting to her.

' Christo … Chris, his name's Chris.'

Dr. Ramsey smiled.

'Chris. Why don't you tell me about him.'  
'There's not much to say.'  
'Well I find that hard to believe.'  
'Well maybe you should try a little harder.'  
'How about we just start with something small. What was his favorite song?'

Tristan smiled and looked at Rory who had a small smile on her face as well. She let out a horse laugh.

'What a good boy by the uh Barenaked Ladies.'  
'I love that song.'  
'He used to say that it reminded him of them.'

She looked to Tristan now with a raised eyebrow.

'I had the same look the first time he told me. It was something about a part in the song … '  
'We've got these chains that hang around our neck's people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath..'

They both looked at Rory who stared blankly ahead. After a moment of silence she shook her head and looked at them.

'I'm sorry I … I don't …'  
'It's ok.'

She smiled comfortingly, reached up and squeezed her arm. Then she tilted her head to the left and her voice took on an even softer tone.

'We need to talk about your drug addiction.'  
'It's not an … ok in rehab I learned that a sign of addiction is denial.'  
'That's right.'  
'I'm not denying that I've been … weak … when it comes to pills. But I'm not an addict. Addict's are people who steal and lie and hurt their family and ... are completely dependent on their drug.'

Tristan's mind flashed back to only twenty minutes earlier.

_'Surprise! Lorelai perfect fucking Hayden is not only human but an addict to boot.'  
_  
With a small nod Doctor Ramsey uncrossed and re crossed her legs.

'That's the most common definition of an addict. But the most common addict is one who believes they aren't one.'

She put her hand in her skirt pocket and pulled something out. She looked at it for a second looking as if she were fighting with herself, and then held it out to Rory. The white bottle rattled and Rory looked to her confused.

'What-?'  
'I want you to take the bottle of vicodin.'  
'Why?'  
'Humor me.'

With shaking hand's she reached for the bottle. Her hand fell limply in her lap as she looked at the bottle in her hand and inhaled a sharp intake of air.

'What does that bottle say Rory?'

She was silent and Tristan looked at her confused.

'Paris Geller.'  
'Who's Paris?'  
'My best friend.'

He sat back and stared at her completely thrown. She sniffed and the doctor tilted her head so as to see Rory's face.

'Did she give them to you?'  
'No.'  
'Then how'd you get them?'  
'I uh …'

Her hand's had started to shake even more and now the doctor took action and pulled the bottle from Rory's hands and stuffed it back into her pocket. Rory inhaled a shaky breath and pulled her hand through her hair.

'I told her I'd throw them away for her.'  
'You stole them.'  
'I guess.'  
'And you lied.'  
'Yes.'  
'Is that the first time you've stolen pills?'  
'No. I took Carmen's to. '  
'And she is?'  
'Family.'

Rory looked to Tristan feeling a bit dazed. He had a strange look in his eyes that she couldn't handle seeing so she looked away.

'When you were holding the bottle … how were you feeling?'  
'Like I … wanted to take them.'  
'Wanted to?'

A tear escaped down her cheek and she wiped it away.

'Like I needed to take them ok?'  
'Rory, I know that there's something else that you learned in rehab. In recovery … what's the first step?' 'Admittance.'

Silence.

'You want me to admit to you guy's that I'm an addict.'  
'Rory when it comes down to it my opinion means nothing. Tristan's opinion means nothing. I want you to be able to admit it to yourself.'

Silence.

'Fine.'

They waited for her to speak the words.

'I'm an addict.'

Doctor Ramsey smiled comfortingly and Tristan felt his heart clench at the look on Rory's face. She looked like she had just resigned to defeat. A few tears rolled down her cheeks and she didn't bother this time to wipe them away.

'When did it start?'

Rory opened her mouth to respond with her usual answer but then she noticed the look on Tristan's face and she looked at a spot on the floor beside the doctors Silver pump.

'The eighth grade.'  
'Has it always been pills?'  
'No.'

She looked uncomfortably at Tristan.

'Tristan.'  
'Hey, remember what I said. It doesn't change anything.'  
'Do you want Tristan to step out for a minute?'

Rory looked at him for a moment then shook her head with resolve.

'No. He need's to listen to this. '

Lorelai had already given him this information, but hearing her say it made it seem all the more real and it took all of his strength to stop himself from letting her see how much it was affecting him.

'How did it start?'  
'The first time I used it was just weed, there was this guy at school, Alex … something. I had gotten there late that day because I had gotten into this huge fight with my Dad that morning and I saw him sitting behind some building smoking … I remember just thinking to myself how he never seemed to care about anything. He always seemed so relaxed and no matter what anyone said to him he just … it was like it couldn't touch him. I was always struggling to keep everybody happy; trying my damndest to not let them all down, my Mom and Dad, Chris … friend's.'

She did her best to avoid eye contact with Tristan but could still feel his gaze on her.

'So I ditched class and went over and asked him if I could have some. He looked at me like I was speaking another language. To him and everybody else I was perfect Rory Hayden … studies her ass off and never does anything wrong. He said as much too and that pretty much pushed me over the edge. I was so tired of being what everybody wanted me to be and it still never being enough. Chris and my Dad were constantly at each others throats so I was shoved into the role of the good child. And to Chris I was just … I felt like he had me so high on this pedestal that if I breathed wrong I wasn't going to survive the fall. My friend's, I knew couldn't care less whether I stopped going to school tomorrow as long as I was happy, but even with them … I have my role and I've been playing it for so long that … now that they know what I am … I'm terrified to see them.'

Tristan inhaled a shaky breath now as she cried. He wanted to reach out to her, tell her that it was ok ... but they both knew it wasn't. The doctor nodded in understanding then looked at him.

'What about Tristan? He's sitting here.'

Rory shook her head.

'He shouldn't be.'  
'Why?'  
'Because, I let him down.'  
'What?'

He moved toward her instinctively an appalled look on his face.

'How did you let him down?'  
'I lied to him, I didn't tell him what was happening to me because I was afraid if he knew how screwed up I am he wouldn't be my friend anymore. Now he knows and he's acting like it doesn't change anything but I know I hurt him…and it changes everything.'  
'Is that how you see it Tristan? Rory let you down?'  
'NO!'

Anger radiated off of him and Rory jumped.

'OK. Do you see? Nobody's accusing you of anything but yourself. We all make mistakes Rory, we all have our own ... affliction's… and we all deal with them in our own ways. Your way just happens to be very dangerous.'

She looked down at her paper yet again then looks up and takes the conversation in another direction.

'Your cousin told me you said something to him before you passed out last night. Do you remember what that was?'

She shook her head genuinely confused and looked to Tristan who was just as in the dark as she was.

'I remember fighting … I said a lot of really hurtful thing's and then Colin holding me … after that it's pretty much a blank until I woke up here.'  
'OK. Well maybe I can help you out with that. According to … Colin?'

Rory nodded.

'Well according to him you apologized for taking the pills and then told him he wouldn't stop yelling at you.'

The blood drained from her face and Tristan shook his head still confused.

'Who was yelling at her?'  
'Rory?'

Rory brought her hand up to cover her mouth as she let out a small cry.

'Tristan go.'  
'What?'

His hurt was evident.

'Rory '

She looked panicked and shook her head, another sob burst out of her.

'Make him go, please.'  
'OK. That's fine.'

Doctor Ramsey stood up.

'No.'  
'Tristan leave! Go!'

Worry clouded his eyes and he looked to the doctor in a panic.

'Mister DuGrey, please.'

With no other choice he was led out the door. He lingered there a moment staring at Rory, when she didn't look back he slowly walked away. Doctor Ramsey poured a glass of water and handed it to Rory who took it with a shaking hand.

'Are you ok?'  
'No.'  
'Ok. Take a moment and we can continue when you're ready.'

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Rory staring blankly at nothing in particular. Suddenly her attention snapped to the doctor and she seemed to come back to reality. She sat the cup on the table and twisted her hands nervously. Doctor Ramsey smiled reassuringly at her.

'Chris. '  
'How long have you been hearing him?'  
'Oh my god I'm crazy aren't I?'

The doctor's eyes widened slightly.

'What? Sweetie no.'

She leaned forward and held Rory's hand.

'Rory you're not crazy. I don't like using that word for people who are mentally ill by the way, let alone the one's who aren't.'

Doctor Ramsey paused and watched her for a few seconds.

'Do you think you can push the button for the nurse?'

She was confused by her topic jump but found the button and pressed it. The nurse who had interrupted them earlier walked in.

'Yes?'  
'Shelby do you think you could get Mrs. Hayden for us? She's in the waiting room.'  
'Of course Doctor Ramsey.'

She disappeared and Rory looked nervous.

'Why do you need to talk to my Mom?'  
'You're underage and we need to discuss what will happen next, a parent or guardian needs to be present.'  
'Is it bad?'  
'No.'

She smiled and then continued to write notes as they waited nervously for Lorelai. When a nervous Lorelai stepped into the room Doctor Ramsey stood and shook her hand then sat back down. Lorelai looked to Rory trying to find some hint as to what was going to happen. When all she got was a scared look, she sat down beside her and held her hand.

'So how did everything go?'  
'Well.'

She finished writing something then put her pen down and folded her hands in her lap.

'Sorry. Why do you ladies look so scared? I feel like I should be carrying a mace or something.'

Everyone laughed softly, then she tilted her head to the side again and looked at Rory.

'It's going to be OK. I want you to know that.'

Rory looked down at her hand's trying to fight back the tears that burned her eyes.

'I'm not convinced that this was an accident Rory. I think you have a lot of pain inside of you and you haven't figured out how to deal with it yet. I want to keep you for a forty-eight hour evaluation. Do you know what that is?'

Rory shook her head as she cried quietly.

'It's where a doctor or a nurse will come in and ask you questions over the next forty-eight hours about how your feeling and about your day to day feeling's and so on. It doesn't even always take that long, you could be done in twenty four, which would still have you leaving around the same time I believe your doctor had originally planned. It's just so we can get a better handle on what's happening to you. Do you understand?'

Rory looked to her Mom in a panic.

'Doctor, she wouldn't need to be moved from this floor would she?'  
'Normally- yes, but I don't think she's a risk so I'll talk to her doctor. Rory I want you to understand that this isn't a bad thing, on the contrary actually … if we think that you'd benefit from further treatment, then in the long run it could only be a positive thing.'

With a nod of understanding Rory smiled with what little strength she could muster and Doctor Ramsey stood up.

'It was nice meeting you Rory. I'll being seeing you soon. Mrs. Hayden.'

Without another word she was gone.

* * *

AN: OK so I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. I don't hate it but I'm not confident either; there are three Chapter 18's saved on my computer right now lol. Each one is very different, one jumps ahead two weeks ... One a couple of hours ... but I felt neither one fit well with where the story needed to be at this point. Despite my misgivings over it though - I do hope that you like it! Lol  
Also, I've recently realized that I don't always thank you all for your amazing reviews. I love them so much and I truly thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  
I hope that the next chapter doesn't take me so long ... It says that the last update was almost a year ago! I can't believe that!  
Again thank you all for reading & sticking with me through my insanely long bouts of writers block. 3


	20. Little Miss Time Bomb

Chapter 19: Little Miss Time Bomb

**Rory's POV**

You know the moment right before something really bad happens? When you realize you've been unconsciously holding your breath and nothing feels real? Well the last two weeks have been a constant loop of those moments.  
Since being released from the hospital with the diagnosis of Depression and a recommendation to see a therapist - everyone around me has been walking on egg shells, holding their breath for the moment I fall apart again. My Mom had begun to, what I'm sure she would describe as discreetly, hover for the first time in my life. And either she simply doesn't care or she doesn't realize that I'm fully aware of the fact that there has been somebody by my side from when I wake up to when I go to sleep.  
My Dad came home the day after I did, but after getting the cold shoulder from my Mother, another spontaneous work trip came up and after that - some big case at work that had him sleeping in his office most nights.  
Colin has taken up residence in the guest bedroom down the hall. He says it's because it's easier for him to keep being suspended from his parent's, but I know that it's really because he thinks I'm going to pull a Houdini and disappear in the middle of the night.

'Hey Red you ready? Oh Rory come on it's our first day back and you're not even dressed yet?'

I ground my teeth at the nickname and clicked the off button on my curling iron. I didn't bother to look at Colin sulking in the bathroom doorway; instead I picked up a comb and pulled my bangs back. I spoke through clenched teeth while picking up a few hair pins.

'I've told you about calling me that.'  
'Right, sorry. Carmen made eggs.'  
'Ugh, I'm too nervous to eat.'  
'We've been over this, nobody knows anything. I've been out too.'  
'Yea but everybody knows why. You're out for two weeks and you're a bad ass … me, I'm pregnant or had a nervous breakdown or something.'  
'What, would you rather they know the truth?'  
'No but'  
'Then stop whining. Come on I'm hungry.'  
'Then go! I'm perfectly capable of getting down the stairs without a chaperone.'

I tossed my comb on the counter and shoved past him, knocking him against the wall. He mumbled something I didn't understand before calmly following me back to my room. I fell with a sigh onto my bed and found him leaning against my door rubbing his arm. His smile was tight, forced.

'That hurt.'

I forced a smile of my own onto my face.

'I'm sorry.'  
'Right. Just get dressed. I'll be in my room when you're ready.'

Without noticing how his words affected me he walked away. It wasn't the first time he had said something like that. I don't know if he even realizes when he does it but in those moments the wind is knocked out of when I'm suddenly very aware of just how much he sounds like Chris. Maybe it's in my head because nobody else seems affected by it at all. I wiped my eyes quickly and took a deep breath, I could not fall apart right now – if somebody saw me crying I'd be stuck in this house for another week.

'Knock knock.'

Tristan stood smiling in the doorway, slowly the smile shifted and worry clouded his eyes. Quietly he shut the door.

'What's wrong?'

He took two steps toward me and without thinking I jumped to my feet.

'Nothing.'

Not daring to look back at him I walked into my closet.

'Rory.'

Out of sight I closed my eyes and waited for the heavy feeling in my chest to pass. When I realized it wasn't going to go away I sunk to the floor and put my head between my knees. Tristan kneed in front of me; he held my hand with one hand while the other rubbed my back.

'It's alright just breathe.'

I took a deep shaky breath and he tucked a curl behind my ear.

'It's ok.'

I'd had my first panic attack in front of him after talking to Doctor Ramsey the day I was released. My Mother had stepped out to call my Dad so we were all alone. Being that he had no idea what was happening he'd panicked, but after I explained to him that I'd been getting them for awhile, he calmed down and asked what it was he could do to help. They had become more frequent over the last two weeks though and he knew how afraid I was that if my Mom found out just how frequent, she'd never let me out of her sight again, so he promised me he'd only tell her half of the time.  
I took slow deep breaths and after a while the pounding slowed and I was left with a queasy feeling in my stomach. Tristan rubbed the back of his hand across my cheek then got up and left the closet, when he returned he had the bottle of Ginger ale that had been on my bed side table, in his hand. He twisted the cap off and squatted in front of me, it was a moment before I felt ok enough to chance a sip.

'You ok?'  
'Yea.'  
'What happened?'  
'Nothing.'  
'Rory.'

I paused before turning away from his concerned eyes.

'He called it his room.'

He didn't respond right away, I took another drink and handed it to him. He rose to his feet and held his hand out to me.

'You need to talk to him.'  
'I can't.'  
'I can do it, if you want.'

I leaned my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. We hadn't talked about the day in the hospital so I was constantly waiting for things to be awkward between us but they weren't. He was still the same Tristan he was before everything happened … he was still my sanctuary from everything bad.

'What would you say?'  
'What you told me.'  
'It'll hurt his feelings.'  
'I'm not as worried about him as I am you.'  
'I'll be fine. My Aunt wants him home Friday.'

I pulled away from him and grabbed my skirt and shirt from their hangers. When I started to take my tank top off he lifted his hand to his chin and tilted his head to the side, rolling my eyes I motioned for him to turn around. When I was sure he couldn't see me, I pulled my top over my head.

'How come?'  
'Because he lives two blocks from here! There's no sane rationality for him still being here.'  
'Ror, come on you know why he's here.'  
'Because I'm a pill popping nut case whose going to go off the deep end if I don't have somebody watching my every move? I'm surprised they haven't asked me to leave the freaking balcony doors open, so you can watch me when they can't.'  
'Well I suggested it but the nays won.'

I could hear the smirk in his voice and I had to laugh.

'You can turn around.'  
'So you're just going to stick it out until Friday?'  
'Yep.'  
'Are you sure that's the best choice? I mean isn't that how all of this started? You not telling people how you feel.'

I wanted to be angry with him but I knew he was right. With a slight nod I walked out of the closet.

* * *

**Chilton**

The bell hadn't even rung and already I was wishing I were back in my bed. Everybody was whispering and staring, when I was unlucky enough to make eye contact with somebody they would smile and tell me how much they missed me and then immediately ask where I'd been. The one good thing about having been lying to everybody for so long is that I'd become an expert at making people believe what I wanted them to believe. The official story was that I had met my parent's in Paris and had spent the last two weeks shopping and sitting in cafes reading Voltaire. It was a plausible story seeing as how today was the first time I had been seen by anyone other then Tristan. I hadn't been able to see any of my friends since leaving the hospital because truthfully I was grounded, but it helped our story too.

'If one more person asks me how far along I am, I'm going to gouge their eye's out.'

Tristan and Colin looked at each other cautiously but remained silent as I yanked my locker open and none to gently tossed my sun glasses and make up bag inside. Though Tristan had been on my nerves least of all the last two weeks, the little looks they thought went unnoticed were grating on my nerves.

'What?'  
'Nothing.'

As if their simultaneous reply wasn't bad enough, things were made worse when I glanced at the mirror hanging on the locker door and found Coopers face smirking at me from behind us.

'Great the freaking cherry to my Sunday. What do you want?'  
'My my, aren't we hormonal today.'

Both Colin and Tristan moved forward at the same time but I stepped in front of them.

'Are you seriously trying to get your ass kicked - again?'

He squared his shoulders and glanced behind me at Colin, in what seemed to be an unconscious movement he scratched the side of his eye.

'What do you want Cooper?'

Almost instantly his smirk was back in place. He leaned in toward me and glanced meaningfully at my stomach.

'I just wanted to say congrats. I hear you've gone and taken a page out of the Lorelai Gilmore's book of mistakes.'

With the last word his eye's returned once again to mine, ever so slightly his chin jutted forward as if I needed the clarification that he meant me. Though I tried to fight against it, his words stung. I hadn't been called a mistake since junior high. The story of mine and Chris's conception was the story nanny's told their bosses kids when they asked about sex. My Mom got pregnant at sixteen, ran away with us until we were four and a year after we showed up at my grandparent's house she married my Dad.  
I was beyond grateful he was smart enough to say it low enough for only me to hear. I tried my best to stand my ground but in the end I wavered.

'You should go.'  
'Baby!'

Simultaneously we all looked in the same direction. Summer smiled at Cooper and bit her lower lip.

'I've been looking everywhere for you.'

She pressed her entire body against his and slowly backed him up against the lockers.

'Oh you've got to be kidding me.'

I wanted to laugh, but the sight of the two of them was to disturbing. She gave me a quick glance, smirked, then smashed herself against him and stuck her tongue down his throat.

'Hey what are we looking at?'

Louise came to an abrupt halt beside me.

'Ewe.'  
'I know but you just can't'

I tilted my head to the side.

'It's like watching the nature channel; you know when the hyenas tear apart their prey? You're disgusted by it, and you want to change the channel but you just can't.'

Summer ground herself even closer to him and he let out a moan. They pulled away from one another and disgusted, I turned to Louise.

'I think I'm going to be sick.'

Summer let out a low awe.

'That pesky morning sickness getting to you? You know you can go down to the Planned Parenthood; they'll give you something to take care of that. '

Before I could turn back to respond Louise stepped forward.

'You've got them on speed dial don't you? Maybe if she drops you're name she can get the VIP treatment, I mean it's got to be like knowing a celebrity around there right?'

She huffed and stepped towards Louise.

'Well maybe I should just tell'  
'Tsk tsk tsk.'

Colin shook his head at her.

'Now we wouldn't want to go saying something that's going to get Daddy angry with us would we?'

Her mouth snapped shut and with another huff she stomped away, after a confused pause Cooper followed her. I turned to Louise and smiled, she was the first person I was actually happy to see.

'Thank you.'  
'No problem R.G you know I've always got you're back.'

Without warning she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed.

'I missed you.'  
'I missed you too.'  
'Hey what about me? Don't I get a hug?'

Colin smiled hopefully at her and held his arms open. She gave him a hesitant smile and a quick side hug. When she quickly moved away and to her locker his sigh was audible. They hadn't talked since the hospital. I'm still not completely clear on what exactly happened, all I know is that it has something to do with the stupid 'no strings' thing they had been doing.

'I'm going to class, I'll meet you back here right after.'

I rolled my eyes but let him go. Tristan leaned against the locker beside mine and stared at me.

'What?'  
'You ok?'  
'Yea, why wouldn't I be?'  
'Cooper. Summer. Cooper and Summer.'

For the first time in what felt like forever, I laughed. He seemed just as surprised by it then I did.

'Wow. A laugh.'

I covered my mouth.

'I've missed that sound.'

After a beat I dropped my hand and smiled.

'Me to.'  
'So you're good?'  
'I'm ace's baby.'

He gave me a cautious look before laughing.

'I'll see you later?'  
'What, no set time to check in? What would Sergeant McCrea think?'  
'Funny girl with the jokes.'

With another cautious look he smiled and walked away. As I shut my locker I glanced at Paris`, chewing on my cheek I walked across the hall to Louise who was touching up her lip gloss. She gave me a side ways glance.

'What's wrong?'  
'I was just thinking.'  
'About?'  
'Paris.'  
'The ice Queen still freezing you out?'  
'Don't call her that … I deserve it. I lied to her and stole from her.'  
'You made a mistake. You're human. It's not a valid reason for cutting you out.'  
'What about you?'  
'What about me?'

She closed her locker and leaned back against it.

'Colin.'  
'I don't want to talk about that.'

A sad look flashed across her face and she looked down at the floor.

'I told you when I caught you guy's that I didn't want to be put in the middle when it ended badly.'  
'I'm not putting you in the middle.'  
'I know. I am. What happened?'  
'Nothing.'  
'Louise.'  
'I … wanted to be with him.'  
'And?'  
'He want's somebody else.'

This new information was a surprise to me … I'd honestly thought that it had been the other way around.

'Who?'

She looked up at me with sadness in her eyes then the sound of an opening locker drew her gaze back across the hall to where Paris stood. Just as quickly as she looked at her, her attention returned to the floor. Paris shut her locker door and turned around, sadness was evident in her eyes as she looked from me to Louise and back before leaving in the direction of her first period class. I looked to Louise in confusion as she played with the silver bangles on her wrist.

'Paris?'

She didn't say anything.

'No. That's insane, she's with Sean.'  
'Was.'  
'What?'  
'He broke up with her last week.'  
'What? Why?'  
'Why do you think?'

She pushed away from her locker.

'I've got to get to class .. I'll see you at lunch.'

With a small smile she walked away, leaving me completely confused.

* * *

'Hey.'

Paris looked up from her books and I knew she'd been crying. I had been looking for her for nearly ten minutes before giving up. The constant stares all day and the gossip had me skipping the lunch room and searching for a quiet deserted place to study. Apparently we had the same idea because that's where I found her, sitting in the back stacks of the library reading a book.  
I pulled a pack of tissues from the pocket of my sweater that I had tied around my waist and held them out to her. She hesitated for a moment before taking them.

'Thanks.'  
'Yea.'

I sat down across from her, crossing my legs under me. She sniffed and exhaled a heavy breath.

'What are you doing back here?'  
'People suck.'

With a short nod she laughed.

'Yea tell me about it.'

I didn't really know if her words were meant for me or Sean but either way they stung.

'Paris, I'm sorry.'  
'Is that supposed to make me forget that you tried to kill yourself with pills you stole from me?'  
'I didn't try to – I was drunk and it was an accident.'  
'Rory I've seen you completely wasted, you're the only person I know whose capable of rational thinking when they can barley stand up straight. You may have everyone else fooled but don't sit there and lie to me again.'

I inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'No lying?'  
'If you can manage it.'  
'I'm not sure it was an accident.'  
'What does that mean?'  
'I did think about it but I couldn't remember when the last time I'd taken them was ... so I figured it would be ok. But now I'm wondering if maybe I was trying to …'

Her eyes were filled with tears and my own slid down my cheeks.

'Did you tell the doctor?'  
'No.'  
'Why not?'  
'They would have committed me.'  
'Rory if you have to wonder … then maybe what you need right now is somebody to be watching you.'  
'Oh trust me, lack of supervision isn't really an issue for me lately. Colin's become my second shadow.'

Like Louise earlier that day, her gaze shifted down at the mention of my cousin.

'Where does he think you are now?'  
'I don't know.'  
'Won't he freak out?'

She was right. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and sent him a text telling him where I was. When I tossed my phone on the floor beside her leg I caught a glimpse of the initials CMC beneath a drawing on her cast.

'So I heard about you and Sean. I'm really sorry.'  
'Louise told you?'  
'Yea. That's not all though … she said that it was because of Colin.'

Her lack of response gave me my answer.

'When did that happen?'  
'I don't know.'

She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.

'Everything's all screwed up. Sean's not talking to me - Louise either. And you … I feel like I'm all alone.'

Her voice broke and she continued to cry. I moved across the isle to sit beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. I leaned my head against hers.

'No matter what happens or how upset we get with each other … you're always my best friend. And you're never alone.'  
'What the hell Rory?'

We both looked up at the sound of a pissed off Colin and found both him and Tristan breathing heavily – obviously they had ran from wherever it was they were. Paris averted her gaze and sat up straight.

'We've been looking everywhere for you.'  
'I'm sorry.'  
'Do you ever think of anybody besides yourself? I thought you were out'  
'I said I'm sorry.'  
'That's not good enough.'

I looked to Tristan pleadingly and he put a hand on Colin's shoulder.

'Calm down man. She told you where she was and she's fine.'

He moved around Colin and squatted in front of us. He touched my cheek with the back of his hand. The worry that was still in his eyes had a whole new wave of guilt washing over me.  
After a moment he turned his attention to Paris and picked up the pack of tissue I had given her. Pulling one from the pack he caught her gaze and held it out to her.

'You ok?'  
'Yea.'  
'I'm here.'

'I know.'

Just realizing that Paris was crying, Colin's entire posture changed.

'What's wrong?'

Tristan stood up and he held his hand out to me.

'Let's go get something to eat before the bell rings.'

Obviously he was hinting for us to leave them alone. I looked to Paris whose eyes were pleading. I turned back to Tristan and Colin and shook my head.

'No I'm going to stay here with Paris and study. I've got a lot to catch up on. You guy's go ahead.'

Tristan cocked an eyebrow and nodded before pulling a reluctant Colin away.

'Thank you. I don't know what I would've said.'  
'No problem.'  
'So since when do you and the Prince of sloth make with the googly eyes?'  
'What googly eyes? There was no googly eyes'

I couldn't help but laugh. She rolled her eyes.

'There was definite googly action going on.'  
'Stop saying googly.'  
'So?'

With a sigh and a shrug I played with the buckle on my shoe.

'When I was in the hospital he told me he loves me.'  
'And?'

Confused I shook my head.

'And? That's it? I just told you that Tristan said he has feelings for me.'  
'I heard you.'  
'Well you don't seem surprised.'  
'I don't? Hmm that's strange.'

My eyes narrowed when she refused to look me in the eyes.

'No way.'

I could feel the heat feeling my cheeks. I shook my head in disbelief.

'You knew?'  
'No.'

Still she refused to look at me.

'Yes you did! And you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me?'  
'I told him I wouldn't.'  
'So what? I still would have told you!'  
'What happened after he told you?'

I glared at her for a second then pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.

'I kissed him.'

A smile spread across her face and I could tell she was forcing back the urge to sequel.

'And?'  
'And nothing, that's it.'  
'What do you mean that's it? Are you guy's together now?'  
'We haven't talked about it.'  
'Why?'  
'I think he's giving me time. I mean things are still so insane and I don't know if I could handle any more change right now.'  
'Rory.'

There was a scolding tone in her voice.

'What?'  
'Don't hurt him.'  
'I'm not.'  
'But you will if you lead him on.'  
'I'm not doing anything.'  
'Not yet.'  
'What does that mean?'

I couldn't help but be offended by the implication. Who was she to say that I would definitely hurt him.

'Just that if you let yourself think about it to much, like we both know you will -you're going to panic and self destruct.'

I let her words sink in … she was right, I was a ticking time bomb and it wouldn't be long until I blew up and took Tristan down with me.


	21. Inhibitions of the lacking kind

**AN: **OK so first and fore most I'd like to thank _everybody _for their reviews, I'm always happy to hear that you guy's are enjoying the story.

Second I would like to thank **Anybody Anywhere **for the very helpful advice. While I admit that upon first read I did find my feelings a bit hurt, blame is completely on my being annoyingly over sensative lol. I truly appreciate constructive criticism and have tried to the best of my current ability to take it and use it not only in this story but in other stories that I am writing as well. In regards to the _your vs you're, _lol the misuse of those two words is one of my biggest pet peeves about myself and other people. I often find that I am scolding myself over it in fact, yet somehow it's a horrible habit I've never been able to break. That along with my inability to stick to one point of view while I am writing. I find that in one chapter I'll be writing in the third person point of view to a characters point of view, from the past tense to the present tense. I'm not sure if I've done that in this story but I know that in other stories I have and end up completely irritated with myself.  
About the spell check, I completely agree with you - there truly is no excuse to not click that little button before uploading a document. All I can say is that the majority of these chapter's have been both written and uploaded in the the middle of bouts of insomnia. Which usually means that it's usually somewhere between 4am and 6am when I click upload and really the last thing on my mind is spell check. It wasn't until reading your review that I realized - um hello ... you don't have to wait until the end to check. Lol Hopefully I caught everything this time around. I'm actually one of those people who opens a story and does a quick scan before reading it, because if I see that there are too many spelling or grammar errors, I know I won't be able to read it. **  
**I am so completely intimidated by summary's it isn't even funny. I don't know what it is about them but every time I've ever tried to write one, I come up blank and end up with either a snip-it from the story or song lyrics, in it's place. I am going to give it another shot though. Once again thank you. =)

Now last I would like to apologize to you all ahead of time for my inability to write anything even remotely ... steamy? That's such an awkward word isn't it? Unless of course it has Mc in front of it, then it's just fun lol. I truly struggled in this department and at time's thought about cutting the scene all together. I hope my choice to keep it was the right one and that you all enjoy this chapter. **  
**

* * *

Chapter 20:  
Inhibitions of the lacking kind

_'If you let yourself think about it to much, like we both know you will -you're going to panic and self destruct.' _Paris's words kept running over and and over in my head, accompanied by Tristan's own words from that morning. _'Isn't that how all of this started? You not telling people how you feel.' _They were both right. I watched Tristan who was quietly singing the lyrics to the song Chapter One by Lifehouse; rung my hands nervously.  
'I think we should talk.' He glanced at me quickly then back at the road and continued to sing. 'About what happened in the hospital.' His attention snapped to me, the car swerving. I screamed and in a panic he slammed his foot on the brake. We came to a screeching halt, just barely missing the lamp post in front of us. We sat in silence for a few seconds before he looked at me, I smiled guiltily. 'Not the best timing in the world?'  
He laughed and looked at the black chrome post in front of us. A smile on his face, he looked back at me and shrugged. 'No worse then in a hospital bed.' We drove back to his house in silence, my panic growing by the second. I felt like I couldn't breathe. With fumbling hands I was unbuckling my seat belt the second the tires hit his driveway . He turned off the car and turned to me expectantly. The look on my face must have been comical because he started to laugh. 'I'm sorry, you just – you look terrified. Look if you don't want to do this now it's cool. I'm not going to rush you. When your ready I'm ready.'  
My mind was in a jumble, my only coherent thought being about how much I wanted to kiss him. I was still trying to think of something to say when he unbuckled his seat belt and pulled the keys from the ignition. My heart started to pound harder as I watched his hand move toward the door handle.  
'Tristan.'  
He turned back to me and before either of us knew what was happening I was leaning across the front seat, my lips pressed against his. Obviously surprised, it took a moment for him to respond. I heard his keys hit the floor and felt his hand come up to touch my face. Instantly the fog in my head cleared and I pulled away. My hand flew to my mouth. Off of his confused look I sighed. 'I know, OK? Just – stop talking because every time you open your mouth my head shuts off and we really' My eyes narrowed as he smirked at my words. 'Don't be an ass.'  
He laughed and nodded apologetically. 'I'm sorry you're right, continue.'  
I started ranting, listing every plausible reason there was for us to not be together. He remained silent throughout my irate ramblings, not even flinching when I would sporadically shout _'I mean are you insane?' _or _'I'm so completely screwed up!'_ Twenty minutes later though, even I was left feeling unconvinced. With a huge sigh I sat back in my seat, staring blankly out the windshield at nothing. I could feel him watching me, waiting. I rolled my head to the side to look at him and sighed in defeat, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. 'Who the hell am I kidding?' On instinct I moved forward to kiss him again, but I stopped myself. 'But, it has to stay between us, just for now.' He looked hurt so I hurried on to explain. 'Everything is so messed up, not just with me but with everybody, with everything with Paris and Sean and Louise and Colin - I just don't think it's the time. And not only them, at home too, my Mom and Colin and even Carmen, they're all still walking on egg shells – treating me like a head case. They won't understand. Trust me.' It took him awhile and I could tell he was trying to think of a way to dispute my argument but eventually he nodded.  
'When you're ready, I'm ready.' He said, echoing his earlier words. A slow smile spread across his face, matching the one on mine. This time he leaned over and kissed me.

* * *

Three Weeks later

It had been three weeks since going back to school and things were still far from normal. It had gotten to the point where, Tristan, Madeline, Finn and myself had to schedule our time between Sean, Paris, Colin and Louise. Other then myself and Colin, nobody knew the real reason for Louise not talking to either him or Paris. Everyone assumed she was just angry with them for hurting Sean and making the situation what it now was. Today was Finn's day with Colin and Madeline's with Louise. Tristan and Sean were my designated baby sitter's for the night. We were sitting in Tristan's backyard studying, or rather I was studying and Sean was beating Tristan at poker.

'Three.' He slapped down his cards.  
'Dude, stop.' Groaned Sean with a roll of his eyes. 'Every hand it's three and every hand you have nothing.'  
With a childish pout he tossed his remaining cards down. 'Not every hand.'  
'You suck at poker - and you have a tell.'  
'No I don't.'

Without thinking I laughed. With widened eyes I looked up from my homework to find two sets of eyes staring back at me. While Sean looked extremely amused, Tristan a bit shocked.

He cocked an eyebrow. 'Something funny Mare?'  
'Huh?' I asked dumbly.  
'You sounded like you had something to say.' He answered as Sean began to shuffle.  
'No, nothing.' With as convincing a smile as I could muster I lifted my book off of the table. 'Just doing my homework. Knowledge is power you know.'  
'Oh come on Rory just tell him.' I glared at Sean as he continued to laugh.  
'Tell me what?'

I shook my head discreetly at Sean who rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. 'The reason everyone knows your tell is because she told us all about it.'  
'Really now?'

With a sigh I dropped my pencil on the table. 'You bite your lip and slap your cards into your palm when you have a good hand. When you have nothing, you trade three and then raise twenty. Never more never less.'  
He made to respond but Sean cut him off. 'And.'  
Tristan looked between us, disbelief on his face. 'There's more?'  
I sent another glare at Sean who just smiled in return, then lifted one shoulder. 'You only go for straights.'  
'No I don't.' He looked to Sean who nodded in the affirmative and began to deal again. He picked up his cards and his hand twitched, he glanced at me and when I laughed, his eyes narrowed; it took him a second to realize why I was laughing and he released his bottom lip. As Sean and I continued to laugh he tossed his cards down on the table and got up. 'Whatever. I'm getting a soda. You want anything?'

We both shook our heads and he disappeared into the house. Sean cleared the cards and held the deck up questioningly. I shook my head. 'Shouldn't you be doing your homework? Our paper's are due on Monday.'  
He shrugged. 'I left my history book in my locker.'

I cocked an eyebrow disbelievingly and pointed toward my house. 'I've got mine in my room if you want to borrow it. I finished mine last night.' When he didn't accept right away I laughed and got up to take Tristan's spot. 'I guess I can take a break to take your money.'  
'Oh cocky aren't we?'  
'Nope just that good.' He laughed and I picked up my cards. I could feel him watching me from over his cards. 'You can ask.'  
'Ask?'  
'About Paris.'  
He cleared his throat and looked back down at his hand. 'I wasn't going to ask.'  
'Sure you weren't.'  
He smiled halfheartedly. A moment went by and he put his cards down. 'Are they dating?'  
'Who?' I asked in confusion.  
He looked like he was in pain.'Paris and Colin.'  
I put my own cards down and shook my head. 'No. From what I know, she hasn't even talked to him since you guys broke up. She spends most of her time in the library and locked in her room these days. She's hurting Sean; she never wanted to'  
'Yea, I know.' He cut me off with a forced smile.  
'It sucks. Not being able to hang out with the four of you at the same time.'

He nodded and looked off towards the pool. 'So how are you?' When he looked back I shifted uncomfortably. I was tired of that question and I had been thankful that he'd been one of the only people who hadn't asked it. 'I know we have this sort unspoken deal that I won't ask, but it's been over a month.'  
_Has it really been that long? _I lifted a shoulder, unwilling to meet his eyes. 'I'm OK'  
'How's the new therapist working out?'  
'She's … kind of irritating.' I laughed.  
He laughed and nodded. 'The, how does that make you feel – thing.'  
'And the - Tell me what going on with Rory. How is Rory dealing with her feelings.' I mimicked.  
'At least you get called by your name, I get - how are we doing. What do we want to talk about today.'

I'd forgotten that he saw a therapist; it made me feel better talking about it knowing that he knew to some extent what I was going through.

'When I first started talking to Doctor Myers after my parent's split, I actually punched him.'  
'Oh my God, I totally want to go girl fight on her and just pull her hair. What happened?'  
He cocked an eyebrow and leaned forward. 'Do we feel better now?'

We laughed until Sean's attention was caught by something behind me. Confused, I followed his gaze across the lawn to find Louise coming from the bushes separating mine and Tristan's houses. I smiled as she made it to the steps leading up to the patio. 'Hey. What are you doing here?'

'Hey.' She sounded sad as she gave Sean a small smile. With a sigh she pulled a chair closer to mine and sat down. 'Madeline and I were supposed to go shopping but she was gone when I got to her house.' She glanced at Sean then quickly back at me. 'I guess she mixed up her days.' With another sigh she laid her head on my shoulder and tangled her arm through mine. She pointed at my jean shorts curiously. 'Those are cute, will they fit me?' I slapped her hand away as she pushed me forward trying to see the tag. 'Greedy. So what are we doing?' At her words Sean and I laughed. She lifted her head, a pout on her face. 'What? Why are you guys laughing at me?' She whined.

Before either of us could respond, Tristan came back out of the house, a determined look on his face. He was rubbing his hands together. 'Alright I'm back and ready to lay a poker smack-down' Taking notice of Louise he nodded in her direction. 'Hey. When did you get here?'

'Just now.' She cocked an eyebrow questioningly. 'Poker smack-down? Really? Could you be any more of a geek?' He made a face, pretending to mimic her and she rolled her eyes.  
My breath caught and goosebumps tingled up my back as he walked by and trailed his hand along the back of my chair, letting his finger tips brush the nape of my neck. He sat down without even glancing in my direction. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks so I pulled my homework over and tried to concentrate on math.  
Louise groaned and pulled my book away from me. 'Rory, no. Come on I'm bored, pay attention to me.'  
Her whining had me rolling my eyes. 'I can pay attention to you and finish my math homework simultaneously. And look at it this way, the quicker I finish - the more time I have to devote to you.'  
While she thought my argument over, I began to impatiently tap my pencil on the table. Just as she relented and gave me back my book, the pencil flew from my grasp and under the table. With a sigh I looked under the table and watched as it came to a stop beside the chair on the other side of Tristan. Avoiding his eyes I got up and walked around the table. He looked apprehensive as I came to a stop beside him. I squatted down and picked up my pencil, tried to hold back my smirk as I hopped up and spun around. Pretending to lose my balance I fell forward, my entire body pressed against his. I felt his chest rise and I realized he was holding his breath. I laughed in mock embarrassment and mustered up the most apologetic look I could. 'Sorry. Lost my balance.' I said with a smile. Palm flat against his chest I pushed off of him and walked back over to my chair. I had to force myself not to openly bask in my triumph when he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. I turned to Louise as if nothing had happened. 'Don't you have homework you need to finish?' I could feel his gaze burning into my back but I ignored it.  
She rolled her eyes. 'It's Friday Rory. Besides they have homework to, why aren't you scolding them?'  
'I gave up on them. You still have a chance.'

Sean laughed. 'Actually you were just giving me the same little speech a few minutes ago.' He smirked at Tristan and laid down his cards. 'So I guess that means she just gave up on you man.'  
Tristan mock laughed and grabbed the deck of cards from Sean. 'You girls want in? We'll try and go easy on you.' He slapped some money on the table and Louise perked up, interest showing in her eyes.

I shook my head at her. 'To risky. Sean told him.'  
Her eyes widened and she looked to Sean accusingly. 'Why?'  
'It was getting boring.' He shrugged innocently.  
'For you maybe. Now what am I supposed to do when my parent's take my credit card again?'  
Tristan's eyes widened in disbelief. 'What?'  
I laughed as she rolled her eyes. 'Oh don't be such a baby. It's not like I'm the only one who does it. Who do you think bought Rory her new iPod last month when she lost her other one?'  
His accusing eyes turned to me and I turned to her in shock. 'Louise!'  
'What?' She asked innocently causing Sean to laugh.

I gave him a wide toothy smile as I disentangled myself from Louise. I couldn't tell whether the look on his face was him trying to hold back from laughing or if he was simply to shocked to show his anger, but I wasn't going to wait around to find out. Getting up I walked backward toward the door while pulling nervously at my Green Day tank top. 'I'm going to go see what there is to eat.' Spinning around I all but ran through the house toward the kitchen.

Coming to a stop in front of the refrigerator I pulled open the freezer door already knowing what I was looking for. With a smile I grabbed the pint of chocolate ice cream. I grabbed a spoon and hopped up on to the counter, letting my flip flops slide off my dangling feet and to the the floor. I sighed in content as I popped the lid, that had a neon green post-it stuck to it, the word _Tristan's!_scrawled in huge letters, off and took the first bite. Ice cream is never really as good as when it belongs to somebody else. The silence surrounding me was comforting. Not wanting to lose the rare serenity, I stayed sitting atop the counter, my eyes closed and took another bite. I don't know how long I sat there but apparently it was long enough for him to come looking for me. I could feel his presence even before I felt his touch. I opened my eyes to find him standing in front of me smiling.

'I distinctly remember putting my name on that.'  
I tilted my head to the side. 'Hmm, really? I didn't see it.' I took another bite of ice cream; laughed as he

picked up the lid sitting beside me and showed it to me. 'Hey look at that!'  
Smiling he ripped the post-it from the lid and stuck it to my forehead. 'There. Now everybody will know that you're mine.' It was meant to be a joke, I knew, but I could hear the tinge of hurt behind his words.  
Not wanting to go down that road, I chose to ignore it. Instead, I scooped up some ice cream and held it out to him. He hesitated then took the bite. I smiled brightly. 'Isn't it yummy?'  
'That's why I bought it.'  
'Awe, for me? That's so sweet.' He looked amused as I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. I sighed in contentment after pulling away. 'Gotta love a boy who tastes like chocolate.'  
He laughed then his eyes flashed with what appeared to be remembrance. 'Hey, by the way – that whole fake falling thing … you seriously suck.'  
With wide eyes I tried to sound as innocent as possible. 'Fake falling? I have no idea what you're talking about.'  
'Right. Of course you don't.' Amusement, flashed in his eyes as he grabbed the pint of ice cream and put it on the counter. I tilted my head to the side and grabbed hold of his shirt. When I pulled him closer, he brought his hand up and through my hair, cradling the back of my neck.  
'You started it.' I accused teasingly.  
He rubbed his thumb over the flesh right below my ear, his eyes locked on mine. 'I couldn't help it.'  
When his other hand came to rest on my outer thigh the same overwhelming need that I always got before we kissed, burned inside me and I brought my lips down against his. He responded instantly. As the kiss deepened and as the need to be closer grew more frantic he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to the edge of the counter. Every nerve in my body was tingling as his hand burned a trail from the back of my neck down my arm and up under my shirt. I wondered briefly if he could hear my heart pounding in my chest as he trailed his fingers up my side and back down. His other hand slid up my back, into my hair, back down and then up my exposed thigh. He was eliciting a familiar yet new ache inside of me, causing me to whimper at not being able to be any closer. My hands traveled frantically from his hair to his shoulders. I could feel his stomach muscles contract as I slid my hands up under his shirt and around to his back.

'Holy crap!' Like a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown on us, our bubble burst and we pulled away from one another. Tristan stumbled backward for a moment before catching his balance. Louise and Sean stood in the same entry way he had been standing in earlier. Sean's eyes were wide with surprise, his mouth hanging slightly open. Louise on the other hand looked like she was about to burst from excitement. 'I am so sorry we interrupted!' She practically skipped over to us then pushed Tristan toward Sean. I was confused at first when she glanced at my forehead, then I remembered the post-it and embarrassment spread throughout my body. She laughed when I ripped it from my head and shoved it in my pocket. She looked far from sorry. 'But go away perv, we need to have girl time now and you need to make sure Sean's not having a heart attack.' Tristan looked back at me as he walked away, something new in his eyes. I was still catching my breath when she pushed both boy's out of the room and bounced excitedly back over to me. 'OK what the hell? Since when do you and prince un-charming make with the naughty touchy?' She hopped up on the counter beside me and I couldn't help but laugh. 'And why doesn't anyone know about it? If it weren't for the fact that Sean looked just as bitch slap shocked as I did I'd totally be taking it personally.' She grabbed my ice cream and took a bite while waiting anxiously for my explanation.  
Heart still pounding, I pulled at the hem of my shirt nervously. 'A couple of weeks.'

Her mouth fell open and she dropped the spoon into the container. 'Weeks? As in plural?'

'As in three. Well, five if you count the one time while I was in the hospital.'

'Oh if I count it? Really? That was over a month ago Rory! Why would you keep that from us?' She didn't sound upset, just confused.  
I couldn't meet her eye's. 'Well with everything you guy's are going through, we thought maybe it wasn't the best time.' She looked even more confused for a few seconds then pain flashed in her eyes.  
'Rory, what's going on between us …' She trailed off, her gaze shifting away from mine. 'Sucks. Royally.' With a determined intake of air she turned back to me, her shoulders squared. 'But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy.'

'I wish things could just go back to normal.' She glanced worriedly in the direction the boys had left. I shook my head with a laugh. 'I don't mean Tristan. Oddly enough that's the most normal feeling thing in my life right now.' I could feel my cheeks heat up as her smile grew wide. 'It feels kind of … natural? I mean at first I was kind of freaking out because, I mean I'm me and eventually I'll screw it up you know? But then … I don't know, I just couldn't stop kissing him.' I finished shyly.  
Squealing, she clapped her hands together. 'Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you!' Her eyes grew wide and she looked like she was just realizing something. Her smile was so big it looked painful. 'And I know first!' She kicked her leg in the air. 'Take that little miss forget about our mall plans!' I laughed as she hopped off the counter. 'She's going to freak! She's always bragging how she knows everything before everybody. Ha!' I practically whimpered as she put the lid back on the ice cream and put it back in the freezer. She tossed the spoon into the sink and pulled me off the counter. 'Come on we're so having a slumber party.'  
I couldn't hide the confusion on my face as I slid my sandal's on. 'We're?'  
Her giddiness faded as she realized what I was saying. There was no way I'd have a Paris-less slumber party, this she knew. After a long pause, she sighed. 'We're.'  
Despite the reluctance in her voice I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. 'You're awesome, you know this right?'  
She sighed in mock exasperation. 'Yea I know.' When I pulled away, there was a small smile on her face. She linked her hand through mine and pulled me through the house. When we came out onto the porch Sean smirked at me and I felt my face heat up once again. Louise bounced happily over to the table and grabbed her phone and instantly began texting. 'We're having a slumber party!' She sing songed.  
Tristan turned to look at me, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. His question was obvious, he'd caught the _we're _just like I had. With a small nod I told Louise to scoot over, then sat down in the chair with her so I could read what she was writing. We looked at each other in confusion as Madeleine's text came in.

:I have maaaajor newz!  
Mads: Is it about veronica miller 4rm lakeside? bcuz I already knw!  
:no it sumthing wayy btr! trust me! wait wutz going on with v.m?  
Mads: She ran away! She trnd 18 last wk got her inheritance and tha nxt mrning she wuz gone!  
:no way!  
Mads: way wayy!

My head was starting to hurt from all of the bad spelling. I nudged her with my knee. 'Tell her about the slumber party.'  
'Oh right.' Before she could reply, a new message came in.

Mads: wutz ur newz?  
:Cant tell in mes. Slumber party at Rorys. Tell Paris

When she didn't respond right away, I knew she was thinking exactly what Tristan and I had been thinking.

Mads: You sure?

Louise paused before letting her fingers move over the keys.

:Yes its major!  
Mads: Tell me now!  
:Nope! 2nite!  
Mads: Mean. Paris says what time?

'Paris want's to know what time.' She was trying to whisper, but the mention of Paris's name caught Sean's attention. When we caught him looking at us he quickly looked away. Louise and I smiled sadly at each other.  
I shrugged and crossed my legs. 'I don't know it's your party.'  
'Seven?'  
'Sure.'

:7 ok?  
Mads:C u thn! 3!  
:3!

She closed her phone and turned to me excitedly. 'Can you believe she just took off like that?'  
'Who?' I was distracted by the feeling of Tristan's eye's on me.  
'The Miller chick!' I could feel her shaking my arm trying to get me to pay attention but I couldn't shake the feeling of his eyes on me. She groaned irritatedly and her attention snapped to Tristan. 'DuGrey stop it!'  
He laughed and lifted his shoulders innocently his attention on their game. 'What am I doing? We're playing cards.'  
Sean shook his head and laid his cards on the table. 'No I'm kicking your ass at cards. You're staring at Rory's legs.'  
My eyes widened and I tried to no avail to cover my exposed skin. Louise slapped my hand. 'Oh don't pretend like you didn't wear them for that reason. If you got em flaunt em I always say.' Petrified I buried my head against her shoulder.  
'Where is a rabbit's hole when you need one?'  
'What the hell are you talking about?' I lifted my head to look at her, trying to gauge whether she was serious or not. With a sigh I stood up and pulled her with me. 'Where are we going?' She asked confusedly.  
'To the Library before it closes. The longer I let you go on without reading something that doesn't have ten ways to a better, on the cover – the worse of a friend I become.'  
'Hey you've got your text books and I've got mine.'  
We all laughed as I let her go. 'We need ice cream. My Mom's been on this healthy kick since' I trailed off feeling uncomfortable. Even if they all knew it didn't make it any easier. I cleared my throat. 'Anyway all we've got at my house is this no this no that crap that she bought at some health store yesterday.'  
'Ewe, let's go.' I tried to pretend like I didn't notice the look Tristan gave her, the one that told her to keep glued to my hip and not let me out of her sight. I pretended like I didn't see the small nod she gave back in response.

We were already half way across the lawn, heading back to the bushes that led out into my backyard, when something occurred to me. Louise looked at me in confusion when I stopped and turned back. Tristan looked just as confused as I came up the steps and skipped over to him. 'Guess what I just realized.'  
'What?' A surprised smile spread across his face as I sat down on his lap. His hand came up and rested on my knee.  
'It's not a secret anymore.' I leaned down and softly touched my lips to his. It wasn't a long kiss, or anything like the one we'd had in the kitchen, it was short and sweet and when I pulled back, it left a smile on my face. 'I'll see you later.' Without waiting for a response I got up and ran back across the lawn to Louise who had once again begun to singsong about how mad Madeline was going to be that she knew first.

* * *

7pm Rory's house

'This is a bad idea.' I looked up from my task of pouring M&M's into a bowl, at Louise who was standing in the hallway biting her nails.  
Despite my best efforts, I found myself unable to restrain from rolling my eyes. 'It was your idea.'  
She tossed her hand in the air dramatically. 'That should have been your first clue. This isn't going to end well.'  
Shaking my head I dropped the empty bag on the table and grabbed the bag of sour patch kids we'd bought for Madeline. As I poured them into a small candy dish I realized she was still standing just outside the door. I looked around the room in confusion, trying to remember if she had actually helped with anything. When I looked back to her she was staring blankly in the direction of the front door. 'Why haven't you come in here to help?' Her attention snapped to me.  
'What?' It was so blatantly obvious that she was trying to avoid the question that I became even more confused.  
'You've been avoiding coming in here since we got back from the market. How come?'  
Her mouth opened then closed instantly. I could practically see the tension in her shoulders ease when the door bell rang. 'That's them.' She took off down the hallway. After a few seconds passed and I heard no voices, I followed after her. She was standing beside the stair case staring at the door.  
'What's up?' Seemingly startled she looked to me.  
'Huh?'  
'I thought you were going to answer the door.' I commented sympathetically, already knowing why she hadn't.  
She nodded and inhaled a deep breath. 'It'll be ok right? I mean - she didn't know about … so I mean I can't really be angry with her right?' I'd never seen her so nervous before. She shook her head and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 'Never mind, I'm being stupid. It's fine.' Defiantly she squared her shoulders, walked to the door and with a big smile pulled it open.  
Before she could say anything Madeline came rushing past her. 'OK we're here, now tell me!'  
Paris came limping in behind her, rolling her eyes. 'Please! She hasn't shut up since you text her.'  
I waited for the awkward pause, for the snippy comments – but they never came. Louise shut the door behind Paris and smirked at Madeline. 'Nope not yet.'  
Madeline turned to me with a pout. 'Rory! Tell me!'  
Louise's eyes widened in panic and she shook her head. Laughing I shrugged. 'I can't - sorry buddy.' When her pout grew I linked my arm through hers and pulled her toward the TV room. 'I can tell you however that it's not as big of a deal as she's making it out to be.  
Madeline glanced behind us at Louise who was walking silently beside Paris. I heard her laugh teasingly. 'She's right, it's way better.'  
Madeline let out a whine and I laughed. Letting go of her arm I walked ahead of her and into the room, Paris came in after me. When I turned around both Madeline and Louise were standing in the hallway still. Madeline looking as if she were about to cry.  
'We're sleeping in here?' She sounded almost frightened.  
I looked at Louise in confusion and again her mouth opened as if she were going to say something then snapped closed.  
I gestured to the room in confusion. 'OK, what's wrong with this room all of a sudden? We always sleep in here.' Louise looked away from me and Madeline stared distantly at a spot on the floor a few feet from where I stood. I followed her gaze to the ground then back up to her, still confused. 'What' Realization clicked and my hand flew to my mouth, tears stinging my eyes. 'Oh my gosh. You guy's I'm so sorry, I didn't even think.'  
Paris stepped beside me. 'What's wrong?' She sounded just as confused as I had.  
I gestured to the room trying to hold back from letting them know I was about to cry. I lowered my voice to a whisper. 'That night, when everything happened, we were in this room.'  
Her mouth formed into an o and she nodded in understanding. She gave them a comforting smile and shrugged her shoulders as she walked over and picked up one of the bowls of candy and then another. 'It's fine, we can sleep upstairs.' I smiled to myself, Paris Geller, forever the mother hen of our little group.  
Louise sighed and shook her head, gesturing to Paris's booted cast. 'Paris your leg.'  
Paris shrugged. 'It's fine. I walk the stairs at home now and school, with almost no help.' She motioned for me to grab the rest of the things as she limped over to Louise and Madeline to hand them the things she was holding. 'Just stay behind me that way if I stumble you guy's will break my fall.'  
Louise laughed while taking the bag of chips and a bowl of candy. 'Nice.'

Ten minutes later and we were all comfortably situated around my room. Paris, Madeline and I on my bed and Louise in a heap of pillows on the floor. Madeline was bouncing impatiently earning a glare from Paris.  
'Would you stop that?' She snapped irritatedly.  
Madeline shook her head. 'Not until I know what's so huge.'  
I rolled my eyes in exasperation. 'It's not huge.'  
Louise cocked an eyebrow in surprise. 'Really? Hmm I guess what they say about cockiness being a form of over compensation is true.'  
With narrowed eyes I tried to figure out what she was talking about. When I finally did I felt my cheeks burn red and my eyes widen. 'No! That's not what I – I mean I don't even know about – that!'  
A small gasp came from beside me and we both turned to Paris. 'Is this about what I think it's about?'  
Louise's eyes narrowed suspiciously. 'What do you think it's about?' When Paris's eyes darted toward the open balcony doors, Louise gasped and turned to me accusingly. 'She knows? You said nobody knew!'  
'She knew before I knew, but she doesn't know!' Her glare turned confused and I couldn't blame her.  
In a fit of irritation, Madeline let out high-pitched screech, picked up my pillow and slammed it down on the bed, effectively gaining all of our attention. 'I want to know what the heck you guy's are talking about right now!'  
Louise pursed her lips trying to suppress a smile. 'We caught, Rory and Tristan making out in his kitchen!'  
Madeline's eyes grew and she looked to me for confirmation. With a groan I fell face down on the bed, burying my face in the blankets.  
'And I mean the - if we had been just a few minutes later, somebody would have been naked kind of making out.'  
'What?' I could hear the surprise in Paris's voice. She pushed my arm trying to get me to look at them. 'What happened to – time and I don't know if I could handle any more change right now?'  
Groaning I slammed my fist against the bed and sat up. 'I know! But you were right, if I waited to long I was just going to screw it up.' I whined.  
She looked surprised by my words. 'I didn't say that.'  
'Yes you did. You said if I let myself think about it to much I was going to go all destruct-o girl and nobody would be left standing.'  
She rolled her eyes. 'Well now I know I didn't say that.'  
'Well, different words same basic theme.' I shrugged.  
Madeline held up a hand to silence us. 'Wait let me get this straight, everybody knew about this but me?' She sounded a mixture of hurt and irritated.  
'No that's not how it was. Louise and Sean walked in on us.' I mentally berated myself when I could hear Paris take in a sharp breath. I glanced at her apologetically but she was looking down at a loose thread on my throw pillow. I looked back to Louise who was also watching Paris. 'And Tristan told Paris that he had feeling's for me long before he ever told me apparently.'  
Madeline shook her head and a smile spread across her lips. 'OK, so wait I mean how did it happen? How long have you guy's been together?'  
I could hear Louise snort and I pursed my lips. Nervously, I raised a tentative shoulder. 'A few weeks.'  
'A few?' Louise asked provokingly.  
I sighed. 'Three.'  
Madeline's eyes widened. 'Three weeks?'  
'Five if you count the one time in the hospital.' Louise said with the worst impersonation of me I'd ever heard. She rolled her eyes.  
Madeline's mouth fell open and she glared at me. 'Five weeks? What the heck?'  
'Why didn't you tell us?' Paris asked curiously. Louise and I looked at each other and she inhaled a sharp breath.  
I turned back to Paris with a shrug. 'I don't know, I guess maybe I just wanted to make sure it could work first - you know?' She nodded in understanding, then turned to Madeline who had started asking another question. I glanced back at Louise and she smiled appreciatively. Madeline pulled my arm trying to gain my attention. Once she had it she demanded a full recall of every detail from beginning to end.

* * *

**AN2: **OK so there it was! This was the ... _thinking_ ... _counting ..._ wow fifth - version of it. I re-read and re-think and re-write and all together trash chapter's constantly. Initially this one started out completely skipping over 'the talk' and jumping right into the three weeks later. Then it all turned really dark and I found that it wasn't where I wanted to go just yet. So attempt one was trashed. After the second re-write, I somehow still ended up back in a depressing place and so there went attempt number two. Come the third time around I found that while it was less dark, it still didn't hold the right element for a new relationship between the two of them. So on to number four. I played with the idea of having Paris know about Louise and Colin and their being an argument between the two of them, but again ending this chapter on a negative note didn't seem right. I'd even brought Anna into it, then came the re-thinking and I came up with an entire storyline for that confrontation. One that I'm hoping I will not scrap when the time comes. Anyway then there was five. I hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think. Reviews are like gold guy's! lol =)  
Oh! By the way, I really hope the time jump's don't bother you all, I'll probably be doing another one soon. OK so ... yea. lol Thanks for reading!


	22. When the bomb goes off

Chapter 21:  
When the bomb goes off

1 week later  
-

Rory sat in the in the waiting room of her Psychiatrist's office, a text book in her lap and Dizzy by Goo Goo Dolls playing through her ear buds. No matter how hard she tried to find the value of x, all she could focus on was her Mom sitting next to her, phone in hand, texting away. She'd been at it since that morning when she'd woken her up to inform her that she wouldn't be going to school and that not only had she moved up her appointment but she would be taking her to it as well. It had pretty much been radio silence since and it was making her nervous. She was just about to rip the ear phones from her ear's and demand that her mother tell her what was going on, when the door to Doctor Kellerman's office opened and both she and her patient stepped out.  
The older woman said her goodbyes and then turned to Rory and Lorelai with a pleasant smile on her face. 'Good morning ladies.'  
With a forced smile, Rory shoved her books and iPod into her bag. She stood up and glanced at Lorelai who was placing her phone in her purse, it was the first time she had put it down all day. 'I guess I'll see you in an hour?'  
Doctor Kellerman stepped forward and touched Rory on the shoulder. 'Actually Rory, your Mother has asked to join us today. Is that ok with you?' She gave her the kind of smile that told her it wasn't really a question she could say no to.  
She shrugged nervously and pulled her bag higher up her shoulder. 'Sure. I guess.'  
'Wonderful. Right this way ladies.' Rory gave her mother another look trying to gauge what this could possibly be about, but her sunglasses made that impossible .  
With the door shut behind them and everybody seated, Doctor Kellerman crossed her legs and smiled. 'So how are we doing today Rory?'  
She had to force herself to smile back and not roll her eyes. 'Good.' Her gaze shifted between the two women. 'Is something wrong?' Lorelai cleared her throat and pushed her dark sunglasses up on top of her head revealing her puffy red eyes. Worried she scooted closer and reached out for her Mom's hand. 'What's wrong?' When Lorelai didn't look at her or respond Rory looked to the doctor. 'What's going on?'  
'Your Mother has some concerns.' Confused she looked again to Lorelai who's gaze was still averted from her own.  
She looked back to the doctor with a feeling of dread in her stomach. 'Concerns about what?'  
'She believes that you may be taking pills again.'

Despite the calm tone in her voice, Rory felt her stomach drop. 'What?' She glanced at Lorelai in a panic and shook her head. 'Mom no. I'm not.'  
Lorelai closed her eyes and shook her head. 'Don't.' Her voice shook and Rory watched as a tear left a trail along her cheek. She opened her eyes, slowly pulled her hand from hers and picked up her purse. She sniffled as she she pulled the zipper back. 'Carmen found these in your closet yesterday when she was putting your clothes away.' Rory felt like the wind was being knocked out of her as her Mom pulled a bottle of codeine from her purse. Her heart beat sped up and she started to shake her head.  
'Oh god.'  
Lorelai placed the pills into the doctors outstretched hand. As the older women turned the bottle in her hand she pushed her glasses up her nose. She glanced up at Rory. 'The name has been removed.' Rory let out a strangled breath and hunched over. Doctor Kellerman sat forward. 'Rory are you ok?' She shook her head violently as she started to cry.  
'I can't – I can't breathe – I can't breathe.' She gasped out.  
On auto pilot Lorelai got up and sat on the coffee table in front of her and grabbed her hand.'Hey. Hey look at me.' When Rory shook her head Lorelai lifted her face up toward her. 'Breathe with me.' She inhaled a deep breath and Rory let out another sob.  
'Mom – I – I can't.'  
Tears falling from her own eyes Lorelai grasped both of Rory's hands in hers and pressed them to her chest. 'Feel. Come on baby. In and out.' She inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. Rory struggled to keep pace with her as Lorelai held her gaze. 'There you go.' She inhaled another deep breath and let it out.  
A few minutes passed and her breathing evened out, but the tears continued to fall. Doctor Kellerman left to get her a glass of water. She shook her head sadly. 'Mom, I'm so sorry.'  
Lorelai watched her for a second; she tucked a fallen strand of hair behind Rory's ear and wiped the tears from her cheek. 'I know.'  
When the door opened and the doctor came in with a mug of water, Lorelai got back up and sat down beside her. 'How are you feeling?' She handed her the glass and Rory took a tentative sip.  
'Kind of nauseous.' She held her stomach and put the glass on the table.  
'Do you think you can talk about it now?' With a small nod, Rory wiped her eyes. 'When did you start taking them again?'  
She shook her head. 'I haven't.'  
Lorelai sighed. 'Rory, we're not going to be angry with you. Just don't lie.'  
With a pause she placed her hand over her stomach, the need to throw up burned in the back of her throat. She refused to look at Lorelai as hot tears slid down her cheeks. She spoke slowly. 'I got them last week. Louise and I were at the market and I saw a friend of mine that used to' She stopped and whipped at her tears. 'Anyway I told her I had to use the restroom and' She chanced a quick glance at her Mom, then at Doctor Kellerman. With a shaky breath she looked down. 'I've only taken them twice since then.' She caught the two women sharing a skeptical look. 'Don't you think if I were lying I would have noticed that they were missing?'  
Lorelai nodded slowly. 'OK. Say you're telling the truth.' When Rory moved to interrupt her she held up a hand. 'Rory I want believe you, but you've got to admit that you haven't given me much reason to.' Ashamed, Roy's gaze returned to her hands and she remained silent. 'Now say you are telling me the truth, why did you buy them?'  
Doctor Kellerman leaned forward on her knees and her eyes narrowed in interest. 'That's a good question.' She commented thoughtfully. Her voice remained soft and void of any judgment. 'What were you feeling at that moment that made you think you needed them?'  
She shrugged and shook her head. 'I don't know.'  
'Has anything been bothering you?'  
Rory laughed and pushed her hair back out of her face. 'You mean other then the fact that I can't walk two steps in this town without being reminded of Chris? Or how about how every one of my friends keeps looking at me like I'm some – freak'  
Lorelai titled her head to the side sympathetically and squeezed Rory's knee. 'You know they don't think that. They love you.'  
'I know that Mom, but it doesn't change anything. They still look at me like – like – like they need to hide their wallets or something. And how can I blame them?' She choked on her words as she cried. 'I stole from my – best friend. I put them through – hell that night and I've been lying to them for – years. How can they not think I'm some sort of freak?'  
The doctor sat up straight and inhaled a deep breath, she watched Rory for a few seconds, studying her. 'I'm struggling with believing that you actually believe that.'  
'What do you mean?' She snipped defensively  
'Well first of all, from what you told me of your friend's … they aren't a very judgmental group. Am I correct in that assumption?' After a short unsure pause, Rory lifted a shoulder and nodded subtly. 'So I'm left to wonder if it's your friend's that think of you as a, freak, as you put it, or if perhaps that is how you've come to view yourself?' This time Rory looked away without a word. With a sigh the doctor sat back in her chair. 'I know you've heard this before, but I'm going to say it anyway. Addiction is an illness Rory, you are in no more control of it then somebody with any other illness. In no way shape or form are you a freak. Do you understand me? You are a beautiful intelligent young lady who has not only her entire future ahead of her, but can make it absolutely whatever she wants it to be.' Rory wiped her cheeks and inhaled deeply. 'Now, I know you've expressed to me in the past, that you're not ready to discuss your brother yet. Is that still the case?' Rory lifted one shoulder in a shrug. 'I ask because I don't want to upset you with what I say next.' She looked to Lorelai now. 'Mrs. Hayden I fear that what you're daughter needs right now isn't something she can get from me alone.' She turned her attention swiftly to Rory who was staring at her in confusion. ' I believe that you may be, unintentionally, using the loss of your brother as a - crutch.' When she saw tears spring to her eyes she continued on. 'I'm not saying that losing Christopher isn't a major factor, I'm just saying that it's only one of what could be - many.' She gestured widely with her hand. 'And I believe that while we can find them together, if you're constantly being reminded of the loss and the pain and you don't know how to deal with it without relapsing ... then it will all be for not.'  
Rory sucked in a shaky breath and Lorelai squeezed her hand. She looked from her daughter to the doctor, half expecting what was coming next. 'What are you suggesting?'  
Doctor Kellerman lips tightened into a thin line then released with a soft pop. ' I believe that a rehabilitation program would be in her best interest.' A small sob burst out of Rory and she struggled to catch her breath. 'And I also believe that it needs to be a live in program.'  
'What? No! Mom!' She looked frantically to her mother who was staring off into the distance with her hand over her mouth. 'You're wrong! You have no idea what you're talking about!' She glared at Doctor Kellerman who remained calm.  
'Rory I truly believe that unless you remove yourself from your current environment, you're never going to learn how to deal with it without hurting yourself. You would benefit so greatly from being around other people who know what you are going through.'

Rory shook her head and turned back to her mom with wide eyes filled with fear. 'Mom you promised! You told me I wasn't going to have to leave again!'  
Lorelai looked at her with tears swimming in her eyes. 'Rory if its what is going to help you get better'  
'No! I don't need it!'  
'Rory let's try to calm down.' Said Doctor Kellerman soothingly.  
'I don't want to calm down! And I don't need rehab!' She jumped up, grabbing her bag in the process and ran out the door, ignoring the calls of her name fading behind her.

-  
Hartford Memorial Park  
-

He'd gotten the text in the middle of his free period. _At the Park need 2 see u asap... jst u! Plz hry!_ In a panic he'd jumped up from the table and rushed from the library where he'd been "studying" with Sean and Finn, ignoring them as they called after him in confusion. He knew that she'd stayed home from school because Lorelai had wanted to take her to her psychiatrist appointment, she'd told him as much when he had showed up to take her to school; the why behind it neither of them knew and he'd been stressing over it all day. The text only made it worse. He spotted her as soon as he pulled into the parking lot, she was only one of about five people in the entire park, two of which were small children and all of whom were on the opposite side of the large park. She was standing behind a tree with her hood up over her head and chewing on her nails. She kept looking around nervously. When she saw his car pulling to a stop she ran out from behind the tree and towards him, tears streaming down her cheeks. He rushed forward and caught her as she tossed herself into his arms. 'Rory what is it? What's wrong?' She continued to cry as she mumbled against his shoulder. He pulled her back and moved her hair out of her eyes. 'Baby I can't understand you. You need to calm down.'  
She shook her head and her lips pouted. 'It was a mistake Tris, I didn't mean to do it.'

Now he shook his head. 'Didn't mean to do what?'  
'I didn't mean to do it again I swear. I just, I saw Daniel and the next thing I knew I was buying them.'  
It finally dawned on him what she was talking about and his stomach felt sick. 'You're taking pills again?'  
She shook her head frantically as he dropped his arms to his sides and her eyes grew wide. 'No. No! Tris I swear, it was only twice and then I stopped because I knew! I knew how much it would hurt you guy's! So I stopped and I was going to get rid of them I swear but then Carmen, she found them and the stupid shrink told my mom that I need rehab and' He stepped back and she stepped forward frantically. 'Tris she want's to send me away!'  
With a deep breath he stepped back toward her, she looked so scared. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered to her soothingly. What she needed right now wasn't her boyfriend to be angry or feel betrayed, what she needed was her best friend to hold her and tell her it was going to be ok, to make her feel safe. 'It's alright Mare. Come on, let's go sit down.' He led her back over to her tree and they sat cross-legged across from each other. He dropped his key's on the ground beside his leg and smoothed his hand over her hair, pushing the hood off. 'OK. Why don't you take a second and then start over.'  
She inhaled a deep breath and tried to calm down. After her tears had slowed to the point that she was able to breathe normally, she began to tell him everything that had happened. When she was done, the tears were back in her eyes threatening to fall. 'Tris I don't want to be away from you.' She reached forward and grabbed his hand.  
It took him a moment to work up the courage to say what he needed to say. 'I don't want to be away from you either Rory, but'  
A smile spread across her face and she shook her head. 'No, no but's. That's it. You don't want to be away from me and I don't want to be away from you and I know how we can stay together.' She was talking to quickly, making it nearly impossible for him to keep up. 'We can go.'  
His eyebrows knit together in confusion. 'Go?'  
She nodded and scooted closer grabbing his other hand. 'Me and you, we can get away from this place and never look back.'  
It was a full five seconds before he understood what she was saying. 'You want to run away?' She smiled hopefully and he shook his head. 'Rory, we can't run away.'  
She dropped his hands. 'You don't want to be with me?'  
'I love you, you know that I love you.' He picked her hand back up.  
Hope glistened in her eyes. 'Then come with me.'  
'Rory what you're talking about, it's insane.'  
She yanked her hand away like he'd burned her. 'You think I'm crazy?'  
'What? No, that's not what I meant. All I'm saying is that … maybe your doctor is right, maybe rehab would help you.'  
'Tristan I've done rehab, I can't go through it again. I don't need to.'  
'It wouldn't be like the last time Rory. You wouldn't be on your own, everyone will be there for you.' He placed his hand under her chin and turned her back to face him when she looked away with tears in her eye's. 'I'll be there for you, every step of the way.'  
She inhaled a shaky breath and tears slid down her cheeks. 'You will?'  
He smiled. 'Of course.' She took another deep breath and looked around the park, after a minute she closed her eye's. He wiped her tears away with his thumb. 'OK?' She let out long breathe, opened her eyes, smiled and nodded. He smiled back in relief. 'OK. How about we get out of here? Go get some lunch or something? Then we can go home and talk to your Mom.' He didn't know if it was the right idea, but he knew they needed to do something to occupy her mind and it was all he could think of.  
He practically sighed in relief when she gave another nod. 'OK.' She ran her hand through her hair and then wiped her cheeks. 'Ugh. Let me just go get cleaned up and put some make-up on to cover up this mess.' He squeezed her hand as she started to get up. Suddenly she stopped and leaned forward on her knees, she placed her hands on either side of him and touched her lips to his in a soft kiss that lasted a few beats longer then he expected. When she pulled back she leaned her forehead against his and touched her hand to his cheek. 'I love you too.' He didn't have the time feel the weight of hearing her say those words to him for the first time because before he knew it she was up and and walking toward the bathroom, her bag over her shoulder. He figured the last thing she needed was for him to make a big deal out of it so he let her go, deciding that there would be more then enough time for him to kiss her senseless later.  
It was fifteen minutes later that he admitted to himself that she had been gone entirely to long to just be doing her make-up. The fear started as a burning in his throat then moved it's way down like acid. He jumped up and ran across the park toward the bathrooms, as he rounded the corner of the building where the girls bathroom was, the fear dropped heavily into the pit of his stomach. Sitting atop a metal water fountain that was attached to the wall of the building was her cell phone. As he walked closer he saw that it was weighing down a piece of paper. His hands shook as he reached for the items. The two small words written in her loopy scrawl were enough to break his heart. _I'm sorry._Even though he knew in his gut that she wouldn't be there, his eyes scanned the park for any sign of her, his feet carried him at a run back around the building towards his car. He reached his hand into his pocket for his keys and found that they were empty. That's when the fear began to burn in his eyes and he remembered dropping them idly beside his leg, right where she'd placed her hand before kissing him; or now he knew – before saying goodbye.

* * *

**AN: WOW is this chapter wayyyy over due! I am so very ashamed and sorry for the lack of updates guys! I seriously hope nobody hates me, especially after this chapter! Good news? I've already got Chapter 22 half finished so the next update should NOT be that far away. I promise! Now bad news ... I don't know where I'm going with this story anymore! When I first started it I had the entire thing laid out in my head, but as you all know that was a very long time ago. I've grown and changed and have learned so much over this time that it was only logical that eventually it would change my voice in my writing as well. I know that at times you all are going to be thinking ... 'what is she thinking?' but I really hope you all stick with me because I can honestly tell you that, now that I'm not telling myself, OK this is how this needs to end, I've become excited about writing this story again! I have to believe that, that excitement is only going to bare something that in the end I will be proud of and that you all will hopefully be happy with. I can't give you an answer as to how many more chapter's there will be because like I said, I have no idea what is coming next. I thank you all for sticking with me this far, all of your kind words and encouragement makes me happy beyond words. So thank all of you! Lot's of Love Always! Until next time ... **


	23. Note

Hey guys not an update but just wanted to let you know that there's a link on my profile for my LiveJournal … it has info regarding my stories that I thought you guys might be interested in. Updates for my stories are coming soon promise! Until then … 3 & Hugz!


	24. Placing Blame

Chapter 22: Placing blame

8pm - Hayden Residence

'Where could she be?' Lorelai sat beside Carmen on the couch in the living room, a pot of coffee on a tray in front of them. She leaned forward on her crossed knees and sighed into the palm of her hand.  
'Are you sure you don't want me to call Mr. Hayden?' Carmen asked softly. Lorelai shook her head, then with a burst of inpatients, that had the older woman jumping in surprise, she slammed her mug down, not even pausing when coffee sloshed out of it and onto the silver tray. She paced back and forth in front of the fire place and drug a hand through her hair. 'I wish she would just call or something!' Tears fell down her cheeks leaving tracks in her make-up. 'What if she's hurt?' She spun to Carmen with wide eyes filled with fright. 'She could – Oh God Carmen she could be – what if she's' Her body began to shake uncontrollably and she fell against the older women without a thought as she walked over to embrace her. They both jumped when the front door opened and slammed. Lorelai made a dash for it and almost collided with Colin as he came into view. Her eye's searched his frantically for any signs that he'd found her, when he shook his head she deflated. The room was silent for awhile, nobody knowing what was supposed to happen next. A knock on the patio door is what broke the silence, hope filling her chest, Lorelai spun just as Tristan entered. She faltered for a brief second then saw his Mother enter almost uncomfortably behind him. It took her a second to notice the condition of Tristan's appearance, his face and clothes were dirty- she had a flash of a memory, a ten year old Chris and Tristan running in from that same door, completely filthy as they looked up at her with wide apologetic eyes. His eye's were red as if he'd just finished crying. 'Tristan, what happened to you?' She watched him exchange a look with his Mom before she nudged him forward. 'What is it? Is it Rory? Do you know where she is?' Panic filled her chest and she put her hand over her heart as it began to pound against her rib cage.  
Nervously he took a step toward her and shook his head. 'I don't know.' Colin came to a stop beside Lorelai and gave him a questioning look. Tristan drug his hands over his face. 'She text me when I was at school, asked me to get to the park as soon as possible. So I went and' He broke off and with a plea in his eyes, looked back at his Mom. Charlotte came to stand beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder. 'You need to finish Tristan.' With a sigh he sat down and rubbed his hands over his face again, praying that he would wake himself up and everything would have just been a nightmare. 'She was acting … strange. Talking faster then usual. She told me what happened with Doctor Kellerman and she just kept saying I'm sorry I'm sorry. I uh, I told her we should sit down and she starts talking about how … she doesn't need to go back to rehab, she doesn't want to be away from me.' He could see the confused looks on everyone's faces but he just pushed on. 'I told her I didn't want to be away from her either but before I could finish she cut me off, said no that's it no buts. And then … she said that she knew a way we could be together, she wanted to runaway.' Charlotte's eye's widened. 'I told her we couldn't and that what she was talking about was insane... she got – weird. Saying that I don't want to be with her and that I don't love her. And that's not true! I told her it's not and she knows it.' He sounded as if he were chiding himself. 'She said something again about rehab and I tried to explain to her that it wouldn't be the same this time, because we'd all be here for her, and after a little while she agreed. We were going to get something to eat and then come talk to you.' He gestured to Lorelai. The end of the story struggled to come out. 'She uh … she said she just wanted to clean up first so I watched her walk over to the bathroom,' He figured he didn't need to share every detail. 'and like ten - fifteen minutes pass and I started to get really worried so I went over to check on her and I uh … I found this' He handed the bunched up paper to Lorelai who's shaking hand was outstretched, he wasn't sure when she had sat down beside him. Her eyes trailed over the two small words and tears continued to fall down her cheeks. 'Her cell was on top of it. I tried to go after her' His voice broke as he begged Lorelai to believe him, and showed just how much he blamed himself for the situation. 'but by the time I got back to my car I'd realized that she'd taken my keys. I tried to call you but my phone was locked in the car and hers' He sniffed as he pulled her phone from his pocket. He held it up showing them the absence of a battery, then handed it and the back cover to Lorelai also. He shook his head and felt a new wave of tears burn his eyes. 'I'm so sorry.'  
Colin who'd been completely still throughout the entire story, shook his head. 'It's not your fault man.' His eye's roamed over his crying aunt, Tristan's Mom and finally came to settle on Carmen. The older women stood silently, a hand over her mouth and an arm wrapped around herself. 'Carmen could you please call my Uncle now?' Lorelai looked over at him sharply, without flinching he sat down beside her. 'I think we should go to the police now.' She burst into tears once again and he sighed, struggling to keep his own pain at bay. 'Aunt Lore, Rory is out there doing – god knows what. We need to go now.' After a brief second she nodded and looked over at Tristan. 'I'll need you to come, they'll want to talk to you.' She looked up at Charlotte. ' If it's ok with you?'  
Charlotte sighed in sympathy and held her hands out to help b ring Lorelai to her feet. 'Of course it is.' She wrapped her arm's around her. 'We're going to get her back. It'll be ok.'  
Nodding Lorelai pulled away. 'OK. Just uh … give me a second, I need to um' She knotted her fingers in her hair, looking around aimlessly. 'I need to just' Her gaze settled on Carmen and she sighed. 'I'll call Christopher.' The older women nodded. Lorelai took the phone from the table beside the couch and walked quietly out of the room.  
Colin rose and gestured to Tristan. 'You got a spare key?'  
'Yea somewhere.'  
'Good go change and uh, I'll take you to get your car after we leave the police station.' Once Tristan and his Mother were gone, Colin fell onto the couch and buried his face in his hands. The dam inside of him breaking.  
Carmen sat beside him and pulled him into her arms. 'It's going to be ok.'  
He shook his head. 'I should have known, I should have been taking better care of her.'  
'That isn't your job.' Both Carmen and Colin looked over at Lorelai who was standing in the entryway. Carmen rose off of the brief look Lorelai gave her, asking to give them a moment alone. When she was gone, Lorelai sat on the table in front of her crying nephew. 'What Rory has done, it's because she's sick and afraid and hurting. Her choices have nothing to do with what you did or didn't do Colin. Your Uncle and I … we've depended on you more then we should have these past two years. And you, you have went above and beyond while taking care of her and that wasn't a responsibility I – we should have put on you. After we lost Chris it was … to easy to look the other way, to believe that she would be ok … we were wrong and this is one hundred percent our fault. So don't for a second think that there was something more you could have done, you did everything possible – everything that as her parent's we should have been doing and I am so sorry for putting that burden on you.'  
Colin shook his head. 'It's not a burden Aunt Lore. I've always felt like Rory and Chris were more of a brother and sister to me then cousins.' His voice lowered to an uncomfortable whisper. 'So watching out for them … I've always felt like it's my job' His hands shook as he wrung them together. 'when I failed Chris I guess I just'  
'Failed Chris?' Lorelai's eyes widened in surprise. 'Colin what happened to Christopher was … an accident. He made a mistake that ended up costing him his life and could have cost Anna her's. It was not your fault. He knew better but he did it anyway.' She shook her head and wiped her cheeks. 'We should have seen it, your Uncle Chris and I, we are their parents it is our job to make sure things like that don't happen, not yours. Do you hear me?' When he nodded she pulled him into her arm's. 'You are an amazing kid you know that? I love you kiddo.'  
He sniffed and pulled back, knuckling his eyes in an attempt to shed his tears. 'I love you too.'  
The back door opened and silently a now clean Tristan slipped in. Lorelai gave him a weak smile and stood up. 'OK, I guess it's time to do this.'

* * *

AN: OK so this is a short chapter ... mainly because it isn't a chapter I initially intended on writing. I was in the middle of Chapter 22 (now chapter 23) and decided NO, I need to back up a little bit, deal with Lorelai finding out as apposed to jumping time again and dealing only with the aftermath. So yes this chapter is short but on the plus side there should be another update soon =) ... I hope you all enjoyed!

OH! I hope you all checked out my live journal if not it's accessible through my profile. Personally I enjoy reading a story more when I can envision who it is I'm reading about ... if there is a minor character that you'd like to see then just let me know and I'll post asap! Also if you have any questions or comments regarding my character choices feel free to leave me a comment on here or on my live journal and I'll do my best to answer =)

So again thank you all for reading and I look forward to your feedback. Please give me some reviews guy's, not trying to sound needy but it is so much more inspiring to write when you have positive words pushing you along. =)


	25. Missing: Part One

AN: Hey guy's I've had Chapter's 23 and 24 written for a while now just haven't had the time to post them, sorry! I'm nearly done with Chapter 25 as well and hope to have it up very soon. I'm so grateful to all of you for sticking with this story despite how long it takes me to update. Anyway I really hope you enjoy them! 3

* * *

Chapter 23  
Missing; part one

Lorelai glanced across the room at the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. In the deafening silence, the sound made her teeth hurt. With a wince she laid her head back down on her pillow. 'I'm still not hungry Carmen.'  
'Well there's something I never thought I'd hear.' The voice had Lorelai bolting straight up, tears were already filling her eyes.  
'Becca?' She tried to disentangle herself from her blankets and failed miserably; she let out a tearful groan and dropped her hands into her lap. The bed shifted and Rebecca laid her hand over Lorelai's, who had tears running down her cheeks. They stared at each other for a few short seconds before Lorelai let out a broken cry and flung herself into the other woman's arms.  
'Hey – hey listen to me. We're going to get her back. I promise you.' Her voice broke as her own tears burned a trail down her cheeks.

Kitchen:

'Refill?' Paris looked up from her notebook a cell phone to her ear. With a grateful look at the coffee pot in Colin's hand she nodded then returned her attention to the voice on the line  
'What were the last two numbers mam?' She continued to scribble into her notebook then paused and her eyes hardened. 'Yes mam there is a reward, if and when the information given is found to be relia – and goodbye to you to.' With her jaw set she tossed the phone on the table and scribbled out the call back information the woman had given her.  
'Another hang up?' With a sigh of his own Colin sat down in the chair beside hers. He set the coffee pot aside.  
'People suck.'  
'Yea – they really do.' She glanced at him then let out a small laugh. When her phone lit up again a look of defeat passed over her face and she reached for it. Colin shook his head and grabbed it before she could. 'How about you take a brake for a little bit? Go rest in the family room or something. I'll take phone duty for awhile.' Before she could protest he was answering the phone and pulling her notepad away from her. Instead of taking his advice and leaving though, she shifted and lifted her leg up onto the chair on her other side. She despised the stupid cast, it constantly itched and made everything a hundred times more difficult and to make matters worse, girls seemed to suddenly want to bond with her over their shared love of the color pink. She was counting down the days till the doctor would cut the stupid things off, sadly that day was still three weeks away. With a wince she mentally berated herself for feeling sorry for herself while Rory was missing. She still couldn't fully believe that any of it was real. When Colin had called her that first day to ask if she had seen her, she'd known from the sound of his voice that something bad had happened, but it didn't ease the shock and fear she felt when Tristan came to her house the next day and told her she'd runaway. She'd cried the entire car ride back to Rory's house while Tristan tried to explain what had happened as much as he could. Every time she thought of Tristan her heart ached, he'd had to re-tell that story nearly a hundred times over the past two weeks and each time it got vaguer and vaguer. She was the only one he'd told the last thing Rory had said to him to, how he felt that she'd only said it to distract him, she could see his heart break a little more every time somebody asked him to relive it.  
Just as soon as he had answered Colin hung up. 'Anything?'  
His eyes scanned the page and he shook his head. 'No.' With a sigh he dropped the pad back on the table, the phone on top of it and rubbed the palm of his hand against his temple. 'This is all a waist of time. I mean – she may be messed up right now and she may be being unbelievably selfish but – Rory's not stupid. We're not going to find her if she doesn't want to be found.'  
'Stop.'  
Tears burned in his eyes and he could see that Paris was trying, with little success, to hold back her own. With a sigh he leaned forward and wiped her cheek with the back of his hand. 'I'm sorry.' He dropped his hand and leaned on his knees. 'I shouldn't have said that.'  
'It's fine.'  
'No it's not.'  
She searched his face for a second. 'We are going to find her.' She sounded so confident that he was almost jealous of her.  
'You sound so sure.'  
'Because I know Rory.' She snapped out. He could see the held back anger in her eyes, knew she was trying her hardest not to hit him. 'I'm not going to try and pretend that I know what she's going through, but I know that the last thing she would ever want is to hurt the people she cares about. Rory is the least selfish person I know. Which is why we're sitting here having this conversation in the first place.' His shameful gaze lifted from the ground but before he could say anything his eyes connected with Becca's, his Aunt Lorelai was standing beside her with her hand over her mouth. Before he could tell Paris to stop, Becca shook her head. 'You would think, you of all people would understand.' Surprised by that, his gaze snapped back to Paris, but she was looking away.  
'What do you mean?'  
Furious, she looked back at him. 'You guy's are exactly alike. In case you've forgotten, the whole reason Rory started using drugs was because she couldn't handle trying to make everybody happy all of the time. She was playing peace keeper with her Dad and Chris twenty-four seven, working her ass off everyday at school. Playing perfect society daughter. God Colin the girl has had her entire life planned out since the third grade.'  
'So have you.' He was feeling defensive now and the fact that Becca and Lorelai were listening didn't help matters. Paris just rolled her eyes at him. She shifted, pulling her leg down from the chair so she could face him better just as a confused Tristan came to a stop beside Lorelai.  
'Because that's who I am. And we all accepted that that's who she is because it's what we've all wanted to believe – nobody has ever stopped for even a second to think that maybe this Harvard bound journalist since she was eight isn't who she really is.' She could see that he was feeling like she was attacking him personally and she softened instantly. 'I'm not blaming you. Though you are proving my point in my saying that the two of you are alike. I'm sitting here saying that this isn't only Rory's fault, that we all have a little piece in it – and your still taking it personally because you believe that you should have seen it, should have been able to stop it, but you couldn't have.' She paused a second, then continued on a bit more uncomfortably. 'The two of you have such huge hearts – you're constantly trying to make everyone around you happy. The only difference is that the only way Rory knows how to do that is by being who everyone want's her to be and it was just to much for her to handle. She's not as strong as you.' With a sigh she pushed back the tears in her eyes not wanting him to see her cry yet again. Squaring her shoulders she sat up straight. 'So when you call her selfish, your completely off base because the last thing in the world she would ever want is to be hurting her Mom or any of us.' Without thought, she quickly shot out the words she'd been unable to tell Tristan face to face. 'God look at Tristan, do you have any idea what this is doing to him? And she loves him Colin.' She watched him shift uncomfortably, just like he did every time someone mentioned the two of them and she rolled her eyes. ' Yes we all get it, it makes you uncomfortable, but my point is that the absolute last person in the world that she would ever want to hurt is him. So this isn't about her being selfish, it's about her hurting so much that she couldn't bare it anymore. We will find her, and when we do – it's not only going to be Rory that needs to change things, I think it's time we all open our eye's.' She paused a second, let her words hang in the air, then shook her head and pushed back from the table. 'I think I'll go lay down after all.' Rising she gestured to the phone on the table. 'You got the line for now?' He nodded, refusing to look at her. She turned and came into direct contact with Lorelai who automatically wrapped her arms around her. Instantly she felt bad. 'Oh my god how long were you - I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to'  
Lorelai pulled back and shook her head, she wiped the tears running down her cheeks with the backs of her hands. 'No, sweetie you have no reason to be sorry. Your right. You're completely right – about all of it.' She grabbed Paris's hand and looked to Colin. 'Honey, Rory loves you so much, she would never want you to blame yourself for any of this. And you.' She turned to Tristan, still a bit uncomfortable with the situation herself. 'I don't know what's happening with the two of you but I can only assume that since she asked you to come with her' The words fell uncomfortably from her mouth and Becca's eyes widened, she turned to Tristan who was looking anywhere but at the people in the room. 'that Paris is right. She does love you, so I don't want you to think otherwise.' She wiped again at her cheek then gestured toward the front door. 'Why don't you all take a break. Rebecca and I will take over here.' Slowly all three teens made their way out of the kitchen. With a sigh Lorelai picked up the pot of coffee and felt the side. 'Do you mind watching the phone while I make a new pot?' When she saw the look on her best friends face she dropped her head back and walked over to the coffee maker. 'Let it go.'  
'I'm sorry you conveniently leave out the part of the story where she asks her boyfriend to runaway with her, and you want me to let it go?' When Lorelai didn't respond, she let out an exasperated sigh and sat down at the table. A few moment's of silence passed and she looked back across the kitchen. 'Does Christopher know?'  
'Do I look stupid? He'd have a pre-nup drawn up before we even found her.' She crossed her arms and leaned a hip against the counter.  
Rebecca grabbed the phone and notepad from the table and moved to sit at the island. 'Well he is every Hartford parent's dream.'  
Lorelai stared blankly across the room, then looked back at the blonde women who she'd known her entire life. She was the only person in the world who she could tell absolutely anything to. 'I don't want this for her Rebecca. She deserves more. They both did.' Tears, that seemed to be falling continuously lately, slid slowly down her cheeks. 'I keep wondering, imagining how different things would be if I'd never came back. I'd still have my kids and all of this – Hartford and all of it's pressure's to be perfect, it would never have touched them.' She wiped her eyes again. 'Chris hated it here and Rory has crumbled under it all. Christopher was made for this place, you know that … _he_ was every Hartford parent's dream.' She lifted a shoulder and gave her friend a watery smile. 'And he was their father. So I did what I thought was best … for me though not for them. It was too hard and I was so young I just – I wasn't strong enough to raise two kids on my own. So I was selfish and now' She trailed off and Rebecca got up and walked over to her. She held her arms open to Lorelai who let out a small cry and shook her head. 'I don't want her to settle for her Christopher.' With a sigh of sympathy, Rebecca wrapped her arms around her.  
'Honey, that boy is not Christopher Hayden. He loves Rory - has since they were in braces.' She heard Lorelai laugh and she pulled back to look at her. 'He would never do anything to make her unhappy Lorelai, especially let her settle for her Christopher.' She searched Lorelai's eyes for a second trying to gauge whether or not her words were getting through, then both women were interrupted by the clearing of a throat.  
When Tristan walked into the room and over to the table without making eye contact, Lorelai covered her face with her hands. He grabbed a phone off of the table, when he turned to leave he let his gaze briefly meet Rebecca's. Silently he lifted one side of his mouth in a grateful smile then quickly averted his gaze back to the ground. When he made it to the doorway, he paused.  
'Just so you know, I think she deserves more then me too.' And then he was gone.

Rebecca looked back at Lorelai who slowly dropped her hands to her mouth. 'Lore.' The simple accusation in her tone had Lorelai closing her eyes briefly before making her way quickly out of the kitchen and after Tristan. She caught him just as his hand landed on the doorknob.  
'Tristan.' When he made no attempt to acknowledge her she picked up her pace. He pulled the door open and caught a glimpse of Paris and Colin looking confused then mildly frightened when she shouted scoldingly. 'Tristan DuGrey, do not ignore me when I am speaking to you.' Her hand fell flat against the door and she pushed it closed with a slam.  
He stared at her with anger tinting his eyes, but mostly she just saw hurt. 'What?' He snapped out. 'I get it, you don't think I'm good enough for Rory, I agreed. What else could you possibly have to say to me?'  
Lorelai felt the sting of guilt but her irritation was stronger. She pointed a scolding finger at him 'Don't you dare have that tone with me! Especially when you have no idea what you are talking about! You know damn well that I think the world of you!' She dropped her tone, remembering that Colin was just outside. The last thing she wanted was her nephew who she loved like one of her own, to overhear her. Ashamed of her next words she looked down at her feet. 'I know Rory tells you what goes on here Tristan, and even if she didn't, I know you must hear it some nights. So when my sixteen year old daughter asks her boyfriend to run away with her – yes it scares the hell out of me. I am terrified that she will make my mistakes and live the rest of her life' Reminding herself that she was talking to a child who she had no business talking to about such things, she forcibly cut herself off and looked up at him. Off of his startled look she tucked a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. 'But that's about me, it has nothing to do with what I think of you. I am so sorry for making you think for even a second that I didn't think you were good enough.' She lifted her hand and poked him in his shoulder. 'I love you kid.' There was a pause and then he nodded.  
She opened her mouth to say more, when Rebecca cleared her throat and walked into the foyer notebook and phone in hand.  
She smiled apologetically. 'Sorry to interrupt. I was just uh – looking through this and I saw that you guy's keep getting a call from the same number everyday – but there's no name or anything. Have you looked into it?' Off of Lorelai's confusion she held out the book and flipped back through the pages.  
Lorelai looked up at Tristan who lifted his hands in the air and shook his head. 'Guy's have the fliers, girls have the phone.'  
Lorelai stared at him blankly for a second then spun around and threw the door open.  
Paris's eye's widened as Lorelai ran toward her with Rebecca and Tristan on her heels. 'What's wrong?'  
Lorelai showed her the pages. 'Do you remember these calls?'  
'No – the first one is in my writing but the others are Madeline and Louise.'  
Lorelai flipped back to the most recent page and pointed at the last number on the page. Like the pages before it there was only a number, no information. 'What about this one?'  
Paris shook her head apologetically then abruptly turned and pointed at Colin. 'You took the last call.'  
He glanced at the paper. 'Oh yea. It was nothing though.' He shrugged. 'I don't even remember writing it down.'  
'What did they say? They didn't leave a name or anything?' Her words shot out at him like rapid fire.  
The panic that he'd been trying to avoid was starting to set in. 'Nothing. It was just silence, then they hung up.'  
A look of realization passed over Paris's face and she nodded. 'Mine to.'  
'And nobody thought to call it back?' Her words weren't harsh, but desperate.  
Colin and Paris shared a look, then looked down at the ground guiltily. 'Lore.' Lorelai looked back at Rebecca who shot at look at the two teens then back at her. Lorelai put a smile on her face and tried to mask her anxiety. 'I'm sorry.' Not wanting the looks of sympathy she knew were sure to come, she quickly continued on. 'Can you get Louise and Madeline over here?' When Paris grabbed her phone from Tristan, Lorelai looked at the boys thoughtfully then looked back to Paris who was putting the phone to her ear. 'You know what, while your at it why don't you call that boyfriend of yours. I think I'd like to talk to him and Finn as well.' Without a pause she turned and made her way back into the house and with an apologetic smile Rebecca followed her. Neither of them caught the look of panic that washed over Paris's face, while avoiding Colin's eyes she looked directly at Tristan for help. He wasn't looking at her though. He had his phone out and was dialing. 'I'll call Sean, I'm pretty sure he and Finn are studying together.' He used one hand to make air quotes around the words studying, studying was their code word for tutoring. Much to Paris and Rory's irritation, Finn was a math wiz; he was every math teachers favorite student. So he was also the designated math tutor of their group.  
The ringing in Paris's ear stopped and Madeline's melodic voice was calling anxiously out to her.


	26. Missing: Part Two

AN: Hey guy's I've had Chapter's 23 and 24 written for a while now just haven't had the time to post them, sorry! I'm nearly done with Chapter 25 as well and hope to have it up very soon. I'm so grateful to all of you for sticking with this story despite how long it takes me to update. Anyway I really hope you enjoy them! 3

* * *

Chapter 24  
Missing; part two

Rebecca clicked the door softly in place. She leaned back against it and watched as Lorelai disappeared into the living room. With a sigh she dropped her head back against the door and took two deep breath's; it was a struggle to keep her tears at bay.  
With one more steadying breath she pushed away from the door and made her way into the living room. Lorelai looked up from the coffee table where she was straightening stacks of fliers, seeing the look on Rebecca's face she shook her head at her. 'Don't ok. I don't want to hear it.'  
'That's really to bad because you're going to anyway.' She crossed her arms and squared her shoulders. 'You have no idea what this is like Rebecca.' Lorelai slammed the stack down and turned, eye's flaring with anger, to her. 'How terrifying it is to not know' In a rage Rebecca took a quick step forward and then stopped herself.  
Rebecca Knight gave Emily Gilmore a run for her money when it came to keeping a chillingly calm demeanor in a heated situation, so when she lost her temper it was always a surprise. Lorelai stared wide eyed as she took one, two, three calming breaths. When she finally spoke her tone was sharp as a kinfe. '_I_ may not know what _you're_ feeling, but don't you try for even a second to pretend like I don't know what those kids are feeling right now.'  
Her words seemed to register with Lorelai because she shrunk back. 'Bec' She started softly but was cut off.  
'To have everyone looking at you like you're supposed to know something, that horrible feeling you get because despite what everyone thinks – your best friend didn't trust you. To have people - adults who you've known your entire life, who you thought cared about you, to have them suddenly looking at you like your the enemy – I know exactly how that feels.' Not knowing what to say, Lorelai remained silent. 'The one thing Emily didn't do, was leave me to take on everything myself.'  
'I'm not' She started again defensively, but once again she was cut off.  
'Lorelai a few minutes ago you didn't even know that they had a system going. While these kids are taking phone calls' She grabbed a flier from the coffee table. 'and passing out fli' When she looked down at the flier she felt all of the oxygen leave her body. She'd seen the picture briefly on the news, but she hadn't paid much attention to it. Seeing it now, up close and in color – she wanted to cry. 'This doesn't even look like her.' Her finger ran over the short red hair, along the sharp angles of her face. The last of her anger drained from her body. 'She's so thin. When is this picture from?'  
Shaking her head Lorelai wiped her cheeks. 'Within the last few weeks I suppose. The red hair is just a few months old.' She plucked the paper out of Rebecca's hands and looked at it. With a sigh she sat down on the couch and looked up at her. 'Look, I know I'm a horrible mother ok?'  
'Sweetie' Guilt instantly took over as Rebecca sat down. 'I wasn't saying that at all.' She grabbed hold of her hand. 'You know I love you, but this isn't you Lore. When shit get's hard you don't curl up in the fetal position you kick it's ass.' Lorelai let out a choked laugh. Rebecca smiled and leaned her head on Lorelai's shoulder. 'You said it yourself, she deserves more.'  
Lorelai leaned back into the pillows and Rebecca went with her. They stayed like that for a few minutes then Lorelai spoke. 'We're going to find her.' There was a confidence in her tone that wasn't there an hour earlier.  
Rebecca nodded. 'Damn straight.'  
Lorelai laid her head against Rebecca's and smiled. 'I'm really glad you're here.'  
A comfortable silence filled the room as they waited. Rebecca's words were replaying over and over in her head and they were becoming deafening. She let out painful moan. 'Oh God. I'm going to have to apologize to my parent's after this aren't I?'  
With a small laugh Rebecca put her hand over her heart. 'Oh isn't that nice Richard, Lorelai want's to apologize and it only took her sixteen years.' Her uncanny imitation of Emily always gave Lorelai the creeps.  
'Don't do that you know it freaks me out.'

As the two women laughed Colin led the six other teens into the room. 'Aunt Lore.  
'Hey guy's.' She stood up and gestured for them to come in. 'You all know Rory and Chris's god-mother Rebecca right?' Rebecca had gotten up as well so that everyone had a place to sit. They all nodded and waved hello. 'We'll get to why I asked you all here in a second, first I just want to - I want to apologize for not having been as ' She searched for the right word and began to pace back and forth in front of them like a general. Rebecca tried not to smile when they all shared the same look of discomfort.  
'Mrs. Hayden?' Lorelai stopped pacing and searched for who had called out to her. Everyone was looking at Madeline in surprise. She tucked a dark curl behind her ear and lifted a shoulder. 'We understand why you aren't up to doing all of this. You don't need to apologize. What you're going through must be – horrible and we all love Rory and want her to come home safe. We want to help.'  
Lorelai felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes and she smiled. 'Thank you Madeline. Thank you to all of you.' She sat down on the couch across from them. 'You guy's have been great through all of this. It hasn't really occurred to me until now that you kids must be' She glanced at Rebecca briefly. 'immensely hurt with Rory right now.' When they started to shake their heads she raised a hand to stop them. 'Which is completely understandable. I've already had this conversation with Colin and Tristan and Paris but I want to make sure that the rest of you understand that Rory hasn't done this to hurt you. That's the last thing she would want. Whatever she's going through right now, she isn't thinking clearly. Which is why it's all the more important that we find her as quickly as possible.' She turned to face Louise and Madeline who were sitting side by side. 'About these calls'  
Before she could finish Louise leaned forward on her knees. 'I remembered on the way over. I did call it back' She shook her head just a bit, an apologetic frown on her lips. 'but nobody answered.'  
Sean who had picked up the notepad shook his head. 'This isn't a Hartford area code.'  
'What?' Panic started to rise in her chest at the realization that Rory could have left Hartford all together. She stood up and walked over to Sean who had pulled the laptop that had been sitting on the coffee table into his lap. 'Then where's it from?'  
'I'm checking.' He pressed a few buttons and then waited. His eyebrows knit together in confusion. 'Stars Hallow Connecticut?'  
Lorelai froze and she felt her heart began to pound against her rib cage. Desperately she looked to Rebecca who was staring back at her.  
He moved his finger around the mouse pad. 'It's to some place called – Luke's Diner?'  
Tristan began pacing back and forth, knowing she had left town was making him just as panicked as it had Lorelai. 'Where the hell is that?'  
Sean shrugged. 'About thirty miles from here.'  
He stopped pacing. 'Well ok then let's go.'  
Lorelai covered her mouth with the back of her hand and shook her head. 'No.' Her chest began to burn painfully as she struggled to hide the fact that she couldn't breathe.  
Everyone turned to look at her, mouths wide open. Tristan's eye's flared as he strained to keep his anger in check. 'What do you mean no?'  
Lorelai looked behind her to the patio door where Colin had silently wandered to. He had his back to them. She looked back to everyone else and dropped her hand. 'I mean I'll be going alone.' Before anyone could object she raised a hand to stop them. 'It's not up for discussion.' Everyone but Tristan shrunk back at her stern tone. She could practically feel the anger radiating off of him. 'I'm serious Tristan. If I have to call your Mother I swear to you I will, but please don't make me do that because I really need you here – all of you.' She looked around the room. 'All we have right now is a number from a diner in some small little town. It could be nothing. Maybe somebody just recognized her from the news … it doesn't mean I'm going to find her there.' She tried her hardest to avoid Rebecca's eye's knowinf that if she looked over at her she knew she would fall apart. 'So I need you guy's here in case another call comes in or if by some chance Rory comes home. Carmen will be' She paused and looked around the room. Seeing as Colin was still standing with his back to them and Tristan wasn't her biggest fan at the moment she turned to Paris in confusion. 'Where is Carmen?'  
'She went to the market.'  
With her hand to her forehead Lorelai closed her eyes. 'OK, I'll uh – I'll call her from the car.' She shot one last glance at Rebecca who's eyebrows knit together in confusion. 'I'll be back.' Knowing that an argument was eminent, she rushed out of the room.  
Finn shook his head in confusion and leaned in toward Paris. 'Does she even know where this place is?'  
'She knows.' Everybody turned to watch Rebecca as she walked briskly out of the room.  
Lorelai was pulling her purse strap over her shoulder and grabbing her keys when she caught up to her.  
'What do you think your doing?

'What does it look like? I'm going to get my daughter.'  
'Lore, it's not going to be that easy and you know it.'  
'It's just a town. A dot on a map. I'll be fine.'  
Rebecca was stunned speechless for a moment. It had never occurred to her before that her time in Stars Hallow meant anything more to her then an escape. 'I didn't mean the town.' She said softly. 'I mean Rory, she isn't going to just get into the car with you and come home.'  
'I know.' She walked out the door, leaving it open so she could follow.  
'Then what are you doing? Lorelai.' She paused and watched as she looked around helplessly.  
'Where the hell is my car?' She threw her hands in the air in a fit of hysteria, the contents of her purse scattered as it hit the floor. Defeat filled her eyes as she watched a lipstick roll across the cobble stone driveway. When she fell to her knees to pick it all up, Rebecca walked over and kneeled beside her.  
She grabbed the lipstick and held it out to her, Lorelai sniffeld and silently shoved the tube back into her purse. Her eyes scanned the driveway then the house before settling back on her crying best friend. 'Lorelai, where's Christopher?' Her hand froze for a moment, hovered above her wallet for a beat before she grabbed it and stood up. Pursing her lips to hold back yet another sigh, Rebecca planted her hands on her thighs an pushed herself up.  
Impatients radiated off of Lorelai in waves. 'I dont have time for this!'  
'Fine, I'll tell you what' She yanked her keys from her front jean pocket and walked over to the driver side of her red Lexus Convertible. 'I'll drive.' She yanked the door open. 'That should give you more then enough time.' She pulled her door shut with a slam, yanked her seatbelt across her chest and pushed her sun glasses onto her face. When Lorelai didn't get in she turned in her seat. 'In our out Lore, either way I was always coming with you.' A beat passed before the passanger side door opened and closed. She waited until she heard the click of her seatbelt before she pulled out of the rodiron gates at the end of the driveway.  
'You take the' Loreai began before Rebecca turned in the direction of their desired highway.  
'I think I remember.' She said, her voice just above a whisper. They drove in silence for the first ten minutes. Ever since they were kids Rebecca had known when to push and when to wait for her to tell her what was going on. Some things never change.  
'He moved out.'  
Her eye's didn't veer from the road but she reached out and laid her hand over Lorelai's trembling one. 'Sweetie, I'm sorry. When?' She knew better then to ask what happened. It was no secret that she wasnt Christopher Hayden's biggest fan and vice versa. Ever since Lorelai had met him in middle school, she'd been playing the part of the unsucessful peace keeper between her best friend and her boyfriend.  
'Just after Rory was released from the hospital.' She wiped at her eye's. 'We havn't told her yet.'  
Now she chanced a sharp glance her way. 'That was two months ago! How have you not told her?'  
'We couldn't, she'd just think it was her fault.'  
'Why would she think that? I mean it's not exactly a secret that things with the two of you havn't been all sunshine and rainbows.'  
'You know Bec sometimes a little tact isn't a bad thing.' She shook her head at an unashamed Rebecca. 'When Rory over dosed, Chris and I were on a flight to came back obviously, but while we were waiting for her to wake up we got into this huge argument. He wanted to send her back to rehab, I thought she needed to be here with the people who love her. Clearly I was wrong. Anyway by the time she woke up he was on his way to Paris and she was convinced that it was because he was disappointed in her.' She paused then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, Rebeccas silence was weighing heavily in the air. 'I didn't remember until a few days after she'd come home, but about a week earlier, we had been fighting again and Christopher said' She stopped abruptly, then off of Rebeccas curious glance she continued tentativly. 'something he didn't mean and Rory heard him. At least I think she did, there really isn't any way she couldn't have.'  
'What did he say?' When she got no response she had to struggle to keep her anger under control. 'What did he say Lorelai?'  
In tears once again, Lorelai continued to stare at the passing landscape. 'You know there was a time when Christopher and I did love eachother.'  
Her tone was softer when she spoke. 'I know that sweetie. But not all love is healthy.'  
'I told him that he ruined my life … that I never should have come back and he blew up, said that I trapped him' Her voice hardened and the words left a bitter taste in her mouth. 'and that we're the ones who ruined his life. He said that I was the biggest mistake he'd ever made.' The lanscape started to pass by faster and faster as the car picked up speed. Lorelai's knuckles turned white as she held onto the door. 'Slow down.' Her voice shook as memories of Chris and a scrap of metal that had at one time been her car flashed before her eye's. 'Please.'  
Rebecca seemed to snap back to reality and she looked over to see Lorelai, pale as snow, staring glassy eyed at the road ahead, instantly she eased her foot off of the gas pedal. 'I'm sorry.'  
'It's fine.' Forcing the images out of her head she continued on. 'Anyway, I didn't really remember until after because as soon as he had said it he took it back.'  
'Please, please don't tell me you forgave him.' Her stomach turned and she found herself greatful for not being able to look over at that moment. When there was no response she had to stop herself from pulling to the side of the highway and throwing up. 'Oh my god. I don't even know what to say to you. I'm – I'm actually sick right now.' Her mouth turned down at the bitter taste stinging her throat.  
Lorelai shook her head. 'You don't'  
With a raised hand she cut off her lame attempt at a defense. 'Please don't throw that "You don't understand" crap at me right now Lorelai because honestly I might hit you.'

'Just let me finish.' Lorelai snapped. 'After Rory got home and Christopher came back we sat down and decided together that it was over. He said that he loved me and that he always would and he apologized again and said that the kids were the best thing that ever happened to him and that he knows that everything with Chris and Rory was because of him.' She was crying when she turned to Rebecca with a plea in her eyes. 'But thats not true, it was – is both of us. He never let up on Chris nothing was ever right when it came to him but I looked the other way and let it happen, I never defended him. And Rory – we both let her down too. You heard Paris, we didn't see what was happening to them because we didn't want to. It was easier that way.'

Unwilling to ease Lorelai's guilt at that moment she shook her head and gestured to the phone clutched in her hand. 'You should call him and let him know what's going on and you told the kids you'd call Carmen. I don't think it's a good idea for them to be there alone anyhow, I mean in case she actually does show up or something.'  
Lorelai looked hurt as she gave a small nod and began to dial. There was only the briefest of pauses between her putting the phone to her ear and when she started talking. 'Hey, uh – yea. I don't know maybe. I mean it could be nothing but – sorry. So apparently somebody's been calling once a day and just hanging up.' She raked her fingers through her hair nervously as she listened. 'Because they didn't think it was anything – because they're kids Christopher! It isn't their job to begin with, we're her parent's! We should have been the ones doing these thing's not a bunch of sixteen year old children! If it weren't for them we wouldn't even have what we do right now!' Rebecca felt her heart swell proudly just a bit. 'Sean – he's Rory's friend – yes you have, multiple times. Anyway he looked up the area code it was from a diner phone – we're on our way there now. Rebecca and I.' She paused again and listened. Rebecca could feel the atmosphere become even more tense. There would be no polite hello's between the two of them. 'Stars Hallow.' The two words were spoken softly and were fallowed by silence on both ends for a few seconds. 'OK. Bye.' Just as quickly as she hung up she was dialing again. 'Hi Carmen.' Her voice took on a much more pleasant tone as she began to explain things to her.

When she was finished Rebecca lifted her chin and pointed to the passanger side mirror. Confuesd, Lorelai looked in the mirror, her jaw set angerly. 'Pull over.' She threw her seatbelt off and had her door open before the car was even fully stopped. The silver porshe jerked to a stop and the two boy's stared at her with wide eyes through the windsheild as she stomped over. Tristan stared at her for a second before reluctantly rolling his window down. 'What the hell do you two think you're doing? I specifically told you' She pointed to Tristan. 'to stay back. Explain to me what part of that made you think it was an invitation.'  
'Aunt Lore' Colin began but she cut him off.  
'I don't want to hear it. Go back. Now.' She turned back to Rebecca's car to find her leaning against the trunk. She followed her gaze back behind her where Colin was getting out of the car. 'Did you not hear me?' She asked – sounding entierly to much like her own Mother for her liking.  
Colin shut his door and walked around to the front of the car. 'I heard you.' He shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. 'I just don't think it's entierly fair of you to ask me to do that.' Her eyes blazed at his tone and he took a step back, rethinking his approach entierly. 'I'm sorry.' His tone softened. 'I shouldn't have went against your word – I know I was wrong. I just need to know shes ok.' The both looked over to Tristan who was getting out of the car.  
'We need to know she's ok.' He corrected, his voice a little stronger then Colin's.  
Lorelai looked between the two of them for a moment then crossed her arms. 'And when she's not?' Tristan looked surprised by the question, Colin sad. Lorelai shook her head as her eye's began to burn. 'There is a very big chance that we're going to get there and' She trailed off, the words burning in her throat like bad whiskey. Tristan's eyes pooled and Colin turned away. 'What am I supposed to do then? I wasn't trying to be the villian here you guy's, I was trying to protect you.' Her voice broke just as Rebecca stepped in front of her and pulled her into a hug. 'What if she's not ok?'


	27. Stars Hallow

Chapter 25

Stars Hallow

The stares that followed them as they navigated the small town had Colin shifting uncomfortably behind the wheel. 'This town gives me the creeps. Why's everyone staring?'

'Maybe its one of those towns where they like sacrifice outsiders so they can have a good crop season.' Tristan eyed the people in the center of town distrustfully. The car swerved as Colin looked over at him with fear in his eyes. 'Dude it's a small town, they're staring because they don't know us.' He said with a snort of laughter.

'That's not funny! You know that shit freaks me out!' He snapped.

His short temper was something he had grown used to since Rory's leaving and even if it was getting irritating part of him understood it. If Colin had started dating his cousin without telling him he would be pissed but would get over it – if Colin had let his cousin run away …. well he would probably beat the shit out of him and then never talk to him again. So he was not going to complain over a little bitching. 'It was a little funny.' He mumbled. 'They're pulling over.' He pointed out the window at Rebecca's car and Colin pulled to a stop behind it.

They shared a look as they met the two women on the sidewalk.

Lorelei was wringing her hands nervously and Rebecca was rolling her eyes. 'Would you stop that?' She grabbed Lorelais hand and shoved it down to her side. 'You're making me nervous.'

Lorelai pulled her fingers through her hair and exhaled a long breath. 'I'm sorry I'm just – jittery.' She looked to Colin who was looking around uncertainly while tapping a rolled up stack of fliers against his leg. 'I guess I'm not the only one. You ok kid?'

His attention slid by her then back toward the group of people standing across the street staring at them. 'Yea uh-huh.'

Both women looked to Tristan who gave a half hearted smirk. 'He has issues with small towns.'

Colin inched forward toward his aunt. 'Is it just me or do they look like they're boxing us in?' He asked a bit breathlessly.

Shaking his head Tristan grabbed the make shift weapon out of his hand, unrolled it and split them in half. 'Worse then a freaking girl.' Both women raised an eyebrow and instantly he began to back pedal. 'I mean'

Rebecca grabbed one stack out of his hand. 'Stop before you hurt yourself – or worse before I hurt you.' She teased while looking around the town for the diner. 'The kid, from earlier, Sean?' Tristan nodded. 'He said Lukes right?'

'Yeah.

She turned to Lorelai but found her already walking across the square.

'Why does it seem like she knows where shes going?' Tristan asked.

Rebecca glanced at him then at Colin who had shoved his hands in his pockets. He walked around

Tristan. 'They used to live here.'

'What?' Instead of answering him, Colin picked up his pace and jogged after his aunt. Tristan and

Rebecca followed behind. 'What's he talking about?'

She looked uncomfortably from Lorelai then back to him. 'You know the story Tristan. Lorelai got pregnant when we were – well your age, she had Chris and Rory'

He was nodding now. 'And she ran away.'

'Yeah. Until they were around four, this is where they were living.' She motioned around the town with her hand. She expected more questions but instead was met with silence. They caught up to Lorelai and

Colin after they were already walking into the diner. Tristan caught the door just as it was swinging shut behind Colin.

There was a boy sitting behind the cash register reading a book and a man standing a few feet away taking an order at the counter. The older man glanced up at them then over at the boy who did not so much as blink at their arrival. With a sigh he gestured to an empty table with his pen. 'Have a seat, I'll be with you in a second.' Turning, he handed a piece of paper to the unseen cook then walked over to the boy and slapped him in the head with his order pad.

'What the hell?' The boy covered his head and glared up at the older man.

'You hear a customer you go and take their order. It's not a hard job Jess. I'm not asking you to find a cure for hunger, I'm just asking you to write an order down on a piece of paper and serve some drinks.

Is that really to difficult for you?'

'Take orders and serve drinks?' Jess replied sarcastically. 'Sounds hard. I don't know how you handle such complex tasks.' He had a smile on his face, obviously proud of himself.

The man took another deep breath and pointed over at them. 'Go.' He shoved the pad at Jess's chest.

'Now.' Still smirking, Jess made his way over to them. 'Welcome to Lukes. What can I get for you?'

Before anyone could say anything he held up a hand. 'Please speak slowly.' He spoke loud enough for the man to hear him.

Rebecca narrowed her eyes and Lorelai knew she was about to say something rude so she cut her off and grabbed the fliers. 'We're not here to eat.'

Jess leaned in. 'I don't blame you. Let me tell you – some of the things I've seen back there '

'OK thats enough.' The man appeared beside him almost magically and Jess smirked. 'I'm sorry my nephew is under the mistaken impression that he's funny. Tell them you were joking.'

'I was joking.' He parroted sarcastically.

'I'm Luke. Can I get you some coffee or something?'

'Uh no. I mean yes.' Lorelai stumbled for a second then shook her head and stood up. 'Sorry, I'm Lorelai Hayden.' Luke finished filling her mug then shook her outstretched hand and Rebecca smirked when he held it a bit longer then necessary. 'We're uh, we're looking for my daughter – Rory.' Her voice broke and she covered her mouth. It was the first time she had had to say that to anyone, according to Tristan, it had been the boy's job to hand out fliers.

When Colin noticed that she was shaking he stood and helped her back into her chair where she promptly picked up her coffee. He held his hand out to Luke. 'Colin McCrea sir. Rory's cousin.' He picked up a flier from the table and handed it to Luke. 'She ran away two weeks ago and it's just come to our attention that over the past week, the help line' He pointed to the number on the flier. 'has been getting a call from this diner everyday. We were wondering if you or anyone who works here has seen her.'

Luke stared at the flier with concern. 'No I'm sorry. I haven't even been here this past week, I actually just got back' He stopped and looked at Jess who was back behind the counter pretending to work. He looked back to Colin. 'You're sure the calls are coming from here?'

'Yes sir.'

Tristan nodded in Jess's direction. 'Your nephew knows her.' They all looked at him then back at Luke who had a worried look on his face. 'When she told you her name he walked away and has been unstacking and restacking coffee cups ever since.'

Lorelai stood up and walked over to Jess who had just begun to unstack the coffee cups again. Luke followed her. 'Jess.' He turned to face his uncle making sure to avoid Lorelai's tear filled gaze.

'What?'

Luke held the flier out to him. 'Do you know this girl?'

Without glancing at the picture he shook his head. 'No can't say I do. Who is she?'

Luke sighed. 'Jess.'

'She's my daughter. And she's sick right now, so if you know anything, please.' Jess looked down at his shoes as Lorelai spoke softly so everyone in the diner would not hear.

'Sick?' Luke asked worriedly.

She took a step closer to them. 'My daughter has a problem with drugs.'

With an understanding nod something in Luke's eyes changed. 'Give us a second please?' Lorelai could only nod as he pulled Jess by the collar of his black t-shirt to a room in the back.

Despite her attempt at being discreet, it seemed that everyone was staring at her. Silently she walked back to the table where Colin and Rebecca were having a quiet conversation and Tristan was watching her with a worried look on his face. 'What happened? Was I right? Did he know her?' He asked before she was even back in her seat.

'I don't know.' She sat down and wrapped her hand around her mug.

'What did he say?'

'That he didn't but his Uncle didn't seem to believe him.'

'She's here.' All three looked around and he shook his head. 'No not here, but here in this town. And that guy knows where.'

Ten minutes passed before Luke came back alone. He walked directly over to their table. The look on his face told them that Tristan had been right. Lorelai put her hand over her chest to steady her pounding heart as she stood up to meet him. 'My apartment is upstairs.' He looked around the table as Rebecca, Colin and Tristan rose as well. 'Maybe it would be better if we took this up there.' All Lorelai could do was nod in response before they followed him.

~~~xXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx~~~

Bored. It was the only word Rory could think of to describe how she was feeling. She had been held up in an empty house all day with only a copy of Oliver Twist to entertain her. She was starting to feel like a caged animal. At Jess's place there had been TV and music, coffee, food and more then one book to distract her. But then his Uncle came back and she was exiled back to the broken down crap shack she was sitting in now. She hated the silence. She had spent a few days the week before the week at Jess's in this house sitting in silence, rethinking what she had done. Imagining what her Mom and Dad, family and friends must be going through. She had spent that time feeling angry and guilty and both emotions would eventually bring her to tears. She would cry until she could not cry anymore and then she would fall asleep in a fit of complete exhaustion. Sometime's, Jess would be there when it happened and he would hold her until she stopped, eventually he would try to convince her to go home but it would not work. She had seen the news report, copied the number down for the help line. It took her a day to work up the courage to call it, when Paris answered she had just barely hung up before bursting into tears and the same thing had happened the day after that and the day after that with Madeline and Louise.

She could feel the tears stinging her eyes when Jess' code knock reverberated off the walls. With a grateful breath she jumped to her feet and ran to the door. 'Thank God! I'm starving! What'd you' She stumbled as she came to a halt, began to back pedal as Jess avoided eye contact by staring down at his shoes and a teary Lorelai took a tentative step toward her.

'Sweetie.'

She shook her head and shot an accusatory look at Jess. 'You called her?' He looked up at her, his mouth hanging open but no words came out. 'How could you?'

He shook his head hurriedly. 'No. Well yes but not the way your thinking. I found the number written on a piece of paper in the apartment this morning and I called it but as soon as I heard what it was I hung up.' Her back hit the wall and he took a step toward her. 'But Ror, come on, maybe it's a good thing that they're here. You couldn't run for'

While she struggled to breathe she looked to her Mom, her hand clutching her side.'They?'

Lorelai tilted her head slightly toward the door. 'Becca, Colin and Tristan are outside.'

At the mention of Tristans name she felt her heart clench and tears flooded from her eyes. 'Oh God.' She bent over trying to catch her breath. 'No no no no no. He, they can't be here.' She slid to the floor and Lorleai walked over to kneel in front of her.

'Rory, honey, look at me.' When she didn't she lifted her face with her hands. 'They're here because they've been so worried about you.' The tears she had been fighting began to fall. 'We all have been. God Rory, I – I thought you were' She looked her over and all the strength she had fell away and she broke down, her hands falling into Rory's lap.

Rory looked over at Jess helplessly and he shook his head before turning and walking out of the house shutting the door behind him. She knew why he was upset with her and in that moment, looking at her Mother, she was angry with herself. Swallowing her own tears she put her hand over her Mom's. 'I'm so sorry.' With another sob Lorelai pulled her into her arms.

~~~xXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx0_oxXxXxXx~~~

Tristan saw Jess come out of the house alone and he advanced on him. Before he could reach the porch Jess shut the door and held up his hand to stop him. 'Hold on there Romeo.'

'Get the hell out of my way.' He went toe to toe with him and Jess smirked.

'Look I'm not trying to play who's is bigger with you man.' He took a step back and Tristan continued to glare. 'I just figured she needed some time alone with her Mom.'

Tristan's eye's narrowed. 'You figured?' He laughed spitefully. 'What you think you know what's best for her now or something?'

Without faltering Jess side-stepped him and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. 'Hell, by all means go on in.' As he made his way down the steps he tried not to feel smug over the fact that Tristan didn't move. He leaned against the porch and lit his cigarette, watching as Tristan descended the stairs and walked over to Colin who was leaning against his car. Rebecca walked over and held her hand out to him. At first he thought she was taking them from him then he saw her hand shaking and he handed one over along with his lighter.

She looked ashamed as she brought it to her lips. 'I don't normally condone letting a minor smoke, nor do I normally bum one off him. So try to keep your smart-ass comment's to yourself.' He smirked as she lit it and inhaled. 'So you know Rory from California?' He nodded. 'You were in the same rehab or what?' Again he nodded. 'Do you still use?' He paused then shook his head. 'Did you suddenly lose the ability to speak?'

With a shrug Jess dropped the butt on the ground and put it out with the toe of his shoe. 'Nope.'

'Then what's with being reticent boy all of a sudden?

Again he shrugs while stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. 'You told me to keep my comment's to myself.'

She had to bite back her amusement. 'And you can't speak without being a smart-ass?'

'That's what I'm told.'

Now she smiled while tossing her own cigarette to the ground. She gave him a skeptical look as she put it out. 'I like you a little more then I did an hour ago.'

Now he smirked. 'Well aren't I a lucky boy.'

Rebecca shook her head, she could see why Rory was friends with him, he reminded her of Lorelai. 'You've got a smart mouth, and you play the unfazed tuff guy pretty well.' She glanced at the porch where he and Tristan had been standing moment's before. 'But you took care of my god-daughter when she needed you and I saw the look on your face when you let down your Uncle. Do you know what that tell's me?'

He didn't look so unaffected anymore as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. 'No, but I'm pretty sure you're going to tell me.'

Unfazed by his attitude she smirked at him while taking the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and placing them in her own. He stood up straight with a look of indignation on his face, but didn't say a word. 'You've got mush in ya kid. Warm gooey caramely mush.' His chest puffed out and her smirk turned to a smile. 'Rory needs somebody to look out for her. These guy's' She tilted her head backward at Tristan and Colin. 'don't get me wrong they've got her back - we all do, but she needs somebody who understands what she's going through. I think maybe you might too.'

Jess was quiet for a moment then he looked over her shoulder at Colin and Tristan who were staring at him like they wanted to pummel him. 'Her boyfriend and cousin aren't exactly my biggest fans.'

She gave a short unamused laugh. 'She was gone for two weeks hiding out here with some guy they never met, they'd have every right to come over here and beat the crap out of you right now.'

'And here I thought you were on my side.'

Rebecca shook her head. 'There is no your side or their side. There's only what's in Rory's best interest and that would have been for you to call when she showed up here - and say something, not call and hang up for a week until somebody finally figured it out.'

'What are you talking about? I only found the number this morning on a paper at home and I hung up because I wanted to talk to her again, try to convince her into going back on her own.'

Rebecca shook her head in confusion then looked at the door to the house. 'It was her.'

'What?'

'You said she's been staying at your house until last night right? She probably saw the number on the news and has been calling and hanging up all week.' He looked back at the door, guilt washed over his face. Rebecca sighed. 'She wanted to come home, she was just to scared.'

Jess looked back to her and instinctively stuck his hand into his pocket searching for his cigarettes. When he came up empty he began shifting nervously from foot to foot. 'I really did try to convince her to go back.'

She searched his eyes for a second then nodded. 'I believe you but next time don't talk just call. If what she needs is to get away for a little bit I'm sure that's something her Mom can deal with. Not knowing whether her kid is dead or alive? No, not after Christopher.' Pure shame filled his eyes and he looked away.

'You're right. I'm sorry.'

Not wanting to go down that road of conversation she only nodded before glancing over her shoulder then back to him. 'And don't worry about Colin he'll get over it, he'll appreciate what you did for her.'

'What about Romeo over there?" He lifted his chin at Tristan who shifted forward with a defensive look on his face. Rebecca followed his gaze and laughed and shook her head.

'Now he's a different story.' He lifted an eyebrow in question and she straight out laughed at him. 'You've been shacked up with his girlfriend for the last two weeks.'

Jess shook his head automatically. 'It's not like'

Rebecca cut him off with a shake of her head. 'Hey I believe you. He probably know's it too, it's the principle of the matter. She ask's him to run away with her and then disappears, when we do find her she's living with some guy? Friends or not what would you do in his shoes?'

Jess thought about it for a moment then smirked. 'Probably beat the shit out of the guy.' She gave him an exactly look.

They were both quiet, Jess itching for his pack of cigarettes and Rebecca's mind running a mile a minute wondering what was going on inside. A thought occurred to her, was Rory high? She looked to Jess with scrutiny in her eyes. 'You said you don't use anymore?' He shook his head, this time without pause. 'How long?'

He shifted uncomfortably, Rebecca was entirely to curious for his comfort. 'You ask a lot of questions.'

She looked embarrassed for a beat then shrugged. 'I need to know who it is my god-daughter's hanging out with. Is your avoidance of the question your way of saying your really not clean?'

'No.'

'Then?'

With a sigh he shifted again. 'Two years. Can I have my cigarettes back?' The desperate look in his eyes had Rebecca handing them back to him without thinking. Automatically he lit one and inhaled deeply. 'Thanks.'

'Is Rory?'

He pulled his hand through his hair nervously. 'Is Rory what?' He glanced over her shoulder again and inwardly groaned as Tristan and Colin made their way over.

'Is she using right now?'

He glanced from the two guy's to Rebecca and back. Colin came to a stop on her right and Tristan on her left. Colin's eyebrows drew together in worry when Jess didn't respond right away. 'Well? Is she?'

Jess sighed and shook his head. 'Not now, no.'

Tristan and Rebecca exhaled simultaneously and he pulled his trembling hand through his hair. Colin on the other hand didn't look as relieved as them. His eyes stayed trained on Jess. 'But she was right?'

Seeing the look on Jess's face, he sighed in defeat and dropped his head back. He tried to fight the tears that burned in his eyes at bay. He walked a over and sat on the stairs, layed his arms out on his knees and bowed his head. They all watched him for a moment then Rebecca and Colin turned back to Jess. 'She got here a few day's after running away, asked me for some money - told me she was clean and that her Mom and doctor wouldn't believe her, but I knew. I mean I've seen that look too many times not to. I called her on it and she denied it so told her I couldn't get the money till morning and I brought her here. Once she started to come down, she couldn't really deny it anymore. I stayed with her through the night and well I won't get into it but eventually she told me what had really happened.' He turned to Tristan who was not looking at them but who he knew was listening. 'I know its not much man but she was telling you the truth about the pills. She said it was only twice.'

Colin gave him scrutinizing look. 'And you believe her?'

Jess flicked his gaze over to him. 'No offense man but she came to me for a reason.' Colin looked like he had punched him in the gut. 'It's because the only person an addict can be completely honest with, is somebody whose been right there at the bottom just like them. There's no need to lie, so yeah I believe her.' When Colin didn't say anything else he continued 'It was just the pills the two times, but when she was on her own...' He trailed off and looked at Rebecca whose hand was over her mouth. 'Anyway she asked me what day it was and I told her Wednesday, that's when she told me she'd been gone since Saturday. Apparently she had went back to the guy she used to buy from and had been held up there getting high for three day's straight. When she ran out of money he kicked her out and some girl she didn't know gave her a ride here.' He sighed while stubbing out his cigarette on the ground. 'I kept her here while she came down and then took her back to my place and have been trying to talk her into calling her Mom since.' He looked back up at Rebecca. 'I told you I tried to convince her to go back and I did, but not right away. As far gone as she was then, she couldn't go back like that. She wouldn't be able to come back from you guy's seeing her that way.'

They were all silent for a long time, everyone lost in their own thought's. The silence was only broken when Tristan rose and stepped in front of Jess. Rebecca and Colin watched them carefully. 'Thank you.' Jess only had time to nod before the front door to the house opened and Rory and Lorelai stepped out.

* * *

AN: As promised Chapter 25! Sooo it's done and I"m just realizing that while I always planned on Jess being apart of this story, I didn't include him in the picture on my live journal ... oops! I can fix that if you guys want. Oh and for any Jess lovers out there, trust that I am a fan as well and he I only have positive plans for him =) Ok so I hope you all enjoy 3 peace and in case I don't see you before then, Merry Christmas!


	28. SORRY NOTE SORRY NOTE SORRY NOTE!

Hey guy's just wanted to send a quick note to those of you still reading. I am still writing this story, I haven't had so much as a block as an overflow of ideas regarding chapter twenty-six. I've written and re-written it about four times now. I can't seem to settle on one single idea when it comes to Tristan and Rory talking after they find her. I want him to be angry and then I'll want it to be sad and then again I want it to be a mixture of them both and then I just change my mind all over again. It's all so cut up into different situations right now that I'm having trouble deciding because I know that the reaction now is going to set up the rest of the story … which hopefully I'm not to far away from; not because I'm tired of the story or because I'm out of ideas, but because I've been writing it for so long that I'm not sure if I'll ever finish if I don't decide on a definitive end. I've never really had one in mind … well on I guess but it's not really one I think any of you would be happy with lol … OK I've gotten completely off base now … I'm going to try and get twenty-six out as soon as possible … in the mean time …. please stay tuned.


End file.
